Love Is Worth The Fall
by Emochan
Summary: My life had been mundane for decades. I was merely existing. Until I saw the intoxicating sight of Isabella Swan. I knew the moment I smelled her delicious blood that the point of my existence had changed forever. Edward's POV of Starlight Vows. ExB R&R
1. Chocolate Eyed Angel

**Author's Note: **Hello, everyone! Here is the first part of Edward's perspective of my _Starlight Vows_ fanfic. If you want to read this hand-in-hand with Bella's POV, the latter part of this chapter coincides with chapters 3 and 4 of _Starlight Vows_. I'm not doing the entire story in his eyes, but I'll be doing a number of the more important scenes/what people have requested. I'm thinking roughly 8-10 chapters right now. Please feel free to leave me reviews and let me know what you think! Writing as Edward is certainly more difficult than writing as Bella, so I really hope I got his character right! Enjoy!

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><p>Forks, Washington. Population: 3,532. Well-known for the Quileute Indian reservation, fishing, lodging, and being the cloudiest town in the United States.<p>

Perfect.

Starting over again was always a stressful production. I can't recount what number this one was. Every three to five years I have been doing this. My family's inability to _blend in_ well with the public has minimized our permanence in any area.

I would be lying if I said I looked forward to yet another fresh start.

It was all the same to me. Chicago, Galena, Quinter, Auburn Hills, Vancouver, Denali, and all the places we have stayed make my head ache with the constant memories of dragging myself through repeated high school or college courses. I was relieved to finally leave Alaska. Tanya and her coven were very gracious to let us stay for as long as we had. Poor Esme dreamed that she and I could become mates. That repulsed me almost as much as when she and Carlisle tried setting me up with my bitter sister Rosalie. How Emmett could handle her, I would never comprehend. I accepted my solitary lifestyle.

I learned over the decades to keep to my family or myself in public. I decided against ever becoming attached to classmates in any way.

Who would want to become a friend of a monster like me?

_Edward, seriously? Stop calling yourself that, it's getting really old,_ my other sister thought beside me in my Volvo.

Had I said that aloud?

"Alice, I don't have any idea what you are talking about," I said while keeping my eyes on the road.

_Yeah, right. I see it all over your face. Your eyes can't hide your feelings._ Of course Alice knew me. How I felt about myself. My family. My race. _You're nothing of the sort, so stop thinking otherwise. _

"Remind me again why you aren't with Jasper? I thought you would want to ride into town with him?" My voice was struggling to remain calm. Of all my siblings, Alice could see right through me. Her ability of seeing the future also didn't block much.

_I knew you would be beating yourself up on your way here. I wanted to keep you company. _"Don't need you getting so broody that you crash your precious car into a telephone pole," she teased with a light giggle on her lips. I rolled my eyes. An image appeared in my mind, of me losing control of my vehicle and colliding into a thick pole of wood. I snorted at the scene. "See? We'll have none of that!"

"You have been spending too much time with Esme."

"Tell me about it! I can't wait to start classes tomorrow and meet some new people. I've been dying for interaction," Alice sighed. I took a moment to glance at her, seeing her hands fidget with her black strands of short hair at her side and gaze out into the grey hue of our approaching new hometown.

"You're more interested in shopping than making friends, Alice. Even I know that," I snapped at her. The last thing I wanted to discuss was college. I had four college degrees already. The mundane existence of going to school made me want to cringe. The mindless banter about gossip, the latest incessant fashion trends, who was dating who, underage drinking parties…

"Hrm, well, that's true. I haven't stepped into a mall in way too long," she replied. She understood my lack of desire in discussing it further, so she dropped it. We were quiet for the next fifteen minutes. I could see the main road that led into Forks quickly appearing, and I sighed. I would have to slow down my speed, which saddened me. But it would look bad to get arrested before I reached my new house. Once I got a feel for the police force in the area, I'd be able to please my inner speed demon once again. The moment I noticed the wooden sign which spelled out "The City of Forks Welcomes You", I sensed Alice tense in her seat.

_Oh? Really? Hmm…_

Her thoughts perked my interest. She must be getting a vision. Was it bad? I focused my mind on hers, bent on finding out. Instead, I heard lyrics to a German song repeating over and over, with images of some rock band. Alice usually never hid visions from me. She giggled lightly. What was all that about?

I grumbled under my breath, shifting my attention back to the road. Forks really was a very small town. As we rode through the main street, I could see various family-owned businesses and restaurants. The main reason we decided to move here was because of the seclusion we would receive. Carlisle researched the hospital in the area and told me that he liked the good reviews he found. The fact that there was rarity in sunlight was another perk that made Forks our new destination. Living with less fear of being caught sounded welcoming to everyone in the family.

It didn't take long for me to find our road. It was on the opposite end of the main part of town, through a patch of forest that looked relaxing to me. I made a note to explore it once I was settled. Carlisle and Esme had shown us pictures online of the new house, but I still was surprised at how open it was when I pulled into the driveway. Alice opened the door and bounced out to help out Carlisle as he carried boxes from the large truck in front of me. When I removed myself, I heard Emmett cursing inside the opened garage.

_Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!_

I raised an eyebrow and peered around the truck to see him looking quite shameful beside his furious mate.

_I can't believe he said that out in the open! How embarrassing!_ Rosalie sounded like her usual, bitter self as she bore into Emmett's side.

"What did you do now, Emmett?" I asked casually, startling the two of them. Emmett's eyes turned into large pools of fright.

"I, uh, no-nothing, Bro, don't worry about it," he stammered. _Oh god, Rose, I'm sorry. It was a stupid joke! I hate my big fat mouth sometimes!_

"None of your business, Edward. Go help Esme. She was waiting for you in the kitchen," my blonde sister spat as she scowled at me. _Referring to my body as a sweet piece of ass in public will not get you any brownie points!_

I shrugged my shoulders and walked past them, holding in a chuckle. How asinine.

The inside of the house looked modern. Much more contemporary than the large estate the Denali coven owned. The large windows and wide space seemed refreshing. There were movers placing our newly-purchased furniture in their places in what looked like the living room. I heard the rummaging noises of metal and china while I strolled to my immediate right, seeing my "mother" pulling out cooking tools out of boxes. Her eyes lit up when she saw me.

_Oh my, he looks so depressed. I hope this move changes his attitude. I don't want him sulking alone for hours like in Alaska. _"Edward! I'm so glad to see you made it here safely," she hummed as she came to hug me. My eyes narrowed briefly at her thoughts. Was my attitude that poor around everyone?

"I see you're setting up the kitchen," I observed, trying to change the subject. "Expecting to use one this time around?" She let me go and smiled radiantly as her eyes darted towards the new-age stove nervously.

"I'd like to, yes. I'm hoping to finally learn how to use all these appliances. Who knows, maybe you or your siblings will make some friends and would like to bring them over?" _I hope you meet some compatible companions, Edward. I hate watching you alone all the time._

"Rely on the others for that, Esme. Not me." I know that I sounded rougher than I intended. Esme's frown as she returned to the kitchen made me feel somewhat guilty. For all intents and purposes, she was my mother. I hated letting her down. I silently followed her to the counter and helped pull out different sets of plates, utensils, and pre-packaged food.

"Where is Alice?"

"She disappeared with Carlisle when we arrived."

"Oh, she must be helping him with the backyard." _Silly to do on the first day here._

"What has been delivered so far?"

"Most everything. The beds will arrive tomorrow, as well as some of the electronics and the rest of the cars."

I smirked slightly at the mention of beds.

"Has Carlisle checked in with the hospital already?"

"Ah, yes. He starts tomorrow morning. He's awfully excited. I'm happy for him." _He is always so endearing when he is excited about a new job. _

"I'm happy for him, too. He is so passionate for his field. Working in a hospital like the one here will do him some good, I'm sure." I hoped so, at least. Carlisle loved his work. He loved helping others. His compassion was strong and contagious. Forks was going to be lucky to have him.

"Your piano should be in the music room by now, Dear," Esme said after some time passed. I placed a stack of plates up in the cupboard by the sink. She slid a hand over mine and smiled at me. "You can go and see for yourself if you'd like. I can handle the rest," she insisted. With a simple nod, I left her and walked across the living room. There was a small hallway, which from my knowledge would lead to Carlisle's new study. There was another room off of it, and I felt a wave of relief when I entered it. My Steinway piano sat in the center of the room. Its rich ebony color contrasted the bright walls, but the ivory keys beckoned me.

I immediately took my place on the smooth bench and inhaled the fresh scent of perfect craftsmanship before me. It had been a long time since I last played; the Denalis lacked a decent piano. But this piano was one of the best. My fingers stroked along the cool keys, admiring each note that rang at my touch. Music was my escape from the tragedy that was my existence. I easily lost myself to the melodies I played, relishing in how freeing the notes could be. For those few moments, I could forget what I was. Oh, how I wished I could lose myself again in the blissful sounds of music at that moment. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance, because I heard footsteps approaching the music room. And with footsteps came thoughts.

_Of course he is in the music room. I hope this won't be a repeat of Vancouver. He needs to get out into the world and interact with humans. His siblings can do it. Why can't he? Does he still blame me for the change, after all this time?_

"Edward?" I heard Carlisle call out softly from behind the closed door.

"Yes? I'm in here, Carlisle."

The door opened swiftly and in walked Carlisle with a small box. "I found some of your music and thought you would like it in here. Not that you need it," he said as he dropped the small cardboard box on the floor by my side. "How are you doing, Son? The drive was well, I assume?"

"I'm alright. Other than being long, it was uneventful." I shrugged my shoulders, glancing down at the box with slight interest.

"Hm. Alice didn't get on your nerves too much?" His tone was an amused one. Did he know the reason why Alice felt she had to babysit me? I ran a hand through my hair and sighed.

"Not any more than usual."

"Edward, I wondered if we could have a little chat while everyone else is busy. Is that alright with you?" I peered at Carlisle for a moment before nodding. He kept his mind strangely silent.

"Sure. Something wrong?"

"Esme is worried about you," he said, rubbing a finger against his temple. "She fears you'll seclude yourself here like in the other places we have resided."

"She always worries," I grunted in frustration. "Doesn't she understand that I like my space? I don't have any desire to go out and party like Rosalie or Emmett or go on shopping sprees like Alice. Jasper is reserved, why doesn't anyone point fingers at him?" My voice surprised me at its brazenness. Somehow, I sounded like my appearance. A teenager.

_Jasper is reserved because of his bloodlust, Edward. Your isolation from the world had an entirely different source. Don't try to avoid it. _"There's nothing wrong with having time alone. But you never interact with anyone. In Denali you stayed inside most of the time, and before that you spent all your time with your piano. We feel that it's unhealthy. Esme and I would really like you to try this time. Try to talk to your peers."

"And what do you expect, exactly? For me to start having relations with those who I crave to kill?" I practically growled, feeling my body tense up as anger bubbled within me. "I'm not that masochistic, Carlisle."

"Edward," Carlisle sighed. "Please, Son. We want you to enjoy yourself. You seem so depressed when you are alone. It breaks Esme's heart every time she sees you like this. Your belief that you are a monster is hurtful to her, and to me. I didn't realize you would feel so strongly like this." _I don't want you regretting being a part of this family. I know this is my fault from the beginning._

"Carlisle, don't blame yourself," I said. "I'm just…it's hard for me. I know all of you care about my well-being, and I appreciate that." I pulled at my hair hard for a few seconds, then dropped my hands and looked into the sad eyes of my "father". "I promise to try. For Esme's sake."

"Thank you." _We only want for you to be happy, Edward._

"I know."

After that, Carlisle asked me to help him set up his bookshelf in his study. Without realizing it, the daylight faded into darkness. Once the two of us were finished, we joined the rest of the family in a nearly-done living room. The setup was comforting. I was amazed at how open the space was. We wouldn't have to hide here. Jasper had returned from being sent to the store, and gave us each our own toiletries and linens for our bedrooms. Emmett and I laughed at him. Emmett even dared to call him whipped.

_You seem much calmer than you did this morning, _Jasper thought as our eyes met. _It's refreshing, to say the least. I can tell you're nervous about tomorrow. I hope you don't ruin it for the rest of us. _

"I think I'm going to work in my room," I blurted out amongst the banter. "Tomorrow being busy and all," I shot a glare at Jasper quickly before going to the stairs.

_I see you having an interesting day tomorrow, Edward. Better keep your spirits up! _Alice's cheerful demeanor came through clearly in her thoughts.

_Seriously, Eddie, you need to quit your brooding crap. It's just college. No need to scare off the campus. _I scowled at Emmett. I hated when he called me Eddie.

I ascended the stairs after giving a short goodnight to the others. I had yet to see the second floor. Carlisle had mentioned to me that my bedroom had a small balcony. Rosalie was jealous of that. It made me feel a little smug, I have to admit. The hallway was still bare, but I figured Esme would have that fixed by the time I came back from classes the next day.

The room that was designated as mine was perfect. There is no other word for it. It had shelving everywhere for my books and types of collected music. My desk was there, with my laptop and speakers. Boxes of my books and clothing were stacked by the closet. I knew that this room would become my second sanctuary. As I walked out onto the small balcony that sprouted from the opposite end of the room, I took in the relaxing sight of the forest. The trees carried on for miles. I could smell the cooling August air as it flowed through my system. For the first time that day, I felt truly at ease.

Maybe Forks would do me some good.

The hustle and bustle of the house instantly put me on edge the next morning. I had to use all my energy to drown out Alice's non-stop internal ramblings about what to wear and Rosalie's critiques of her hair and makeup. Emmett, Jasper, and I were much simpler in nature. We put on our clothes, brushed our hair, and we were done. I never fully understood why women felt the need to fabricate their appearances. My class was at eight in the morning, so I was the first to leave home. The drive to the small community college I was transferring to wasn't too bad. I still had to monitor my speed, but the traffic was light for the town.

I parked by the registration office on the campus, ignoring all the stares from people as I walked through the parking lot to the building. I hoped deep inside that I would not have to handle the vulgar thoughts from the public that I always received. It was downright dreadful at times. Sometimes I wondered which humans were worse: hormonally-charged teenagers or newly-independent young adults. After hearing the thoughts from a few passing females about my body and what they wanted to do with me, I decided that college students were worse. When I got into the registration office, I was met with a middle-aged woman who looked overworked and overtired. She flashed me a warm smile as I approached the desk, asking for a copy of my class schedule and a campus map.

_My, what a handsome young man. _Her thoughts made me frown a little. _He's too striking to be an average student. My Susan would just fall in love with him if they met! _She kindly handed me my paperwork and wished me a good first day. I dashed out of there as quickly as I "humanly" could, and relished in the fresh air of the outdoors when I returned to the parking lot. My first class was a basic musical theory course. I'd ace that one with ease. I made my way to the music hall on the other end of campus, taking the time to memorize the map in my hand.

The hall was nicer than I expected for a community college. There were multiple auditoriums and practice rooms. Music Theory was being taught in a smaller practice room. The smells of instruments, cleaning solution, and faded music sheets made me feel a little at home. The class itself was moderately sized, with only 45 students. Everyone was wide-eyed when I joined them; an expression I was sadly used to. I ignored their looks and sat at the back of the room, waiting for the professor to come in and drabble on about the semester. I found myself gazing out of a nearby window for most of the class, wondering how my siblings were doing. No doubt they were charismatic and getting along with everyone. I was somewhat jealous at how easily they could intermingle with humans, unlike me.

_He is so dreamy!_ The thought of a female classmate distracted me. _God, I would love to see how he looks under that shirt! Sexy as hell…_I suddenly got an image in my head of her removing my clothes. I shot her a glare, grimacing when she turned away in surprise. I hated being this way. Why couldn't humans just leave me and my body alone? Ridiculous, inhuman charm. I despised it most of the time. Of course no one could resist me. I was all about seduction, from my eyes to my damn voice.

_Wow he shot Liza one messed up stare! So mysterious. He can be a bad boy for me any day!_

I returned my gaze to the outside, counting the seconds until this class was over.

4,320 to go.

I rushed through the small crowd at the exit so I could rid myself of any more mundane thoughts. Sometimes it overwhelmed me, to be quite honest. I've become accustomed to drowning them out, but some would pierce through my resolve. The most revolting ones, especially. I shrugged off the train of thought and glanced at my schedule. I had a basic humanities course next. Yet another class I could pass with ease. As I made my way to the building, I felt my pants pocket vibrate. I pulled out my cellular phone and saw Alice's name blinking on the small screen.

"What is it, Alice?" I sounded a little irritated and instantly regretted it.

"_Hey, Edward. Just wanted to see how you were doing?"_

"I'm fine." My eyes were surveying the people around me as I walked. I was in no mood to have a full-fledged conversation about my feelings.

"_Sure you are. Anyway, we will be meeting up for lunch together at 11:30. I know that all our schedules work out for that today. So head to the main dining hall when you're done, okay?"_

"Okay, Alice," I sighed. When she didn't hang up, I grew anxious. "Something else you'd like to share?"

"_Edward…just….just be careful, okay? I gotta go…" _When she hung up, my anxiety doubled. Be careful? What was going to happen?

I saw the time on the clock of my phone, and realized that if I didn't hurry, I would be late. My body slid through the masses of students and faculty as I made my way to the building I needed to get in.

Something strange tingled within me as I neared the door to my classroom. As if the air was off somehow. It was very odd. I took in a deep breath to try and calm myself, and was struck with the most intoxicating scent I had ever experienced. Sweet, delicious blood mixed with strawberries. My eyes were strained as they kept wide while I entered, almost overtaken by the sudden lust for human blood. My body tensed immediately while my eyes glanced around the room for the source of this incredible scent.

Then I saw _her_.

She was wearing a stunning grey t-shirt that hugged her torso and upper chest delicately. It brought out her semi-tanned skin. As my eyes traveled downwards, I saw that her legs were hidden by tight black jeans. Her slender fingers were balancing a small pen along them, and I got an urge to hold them. No, not just hold them…taste them. Twisted strands of mahogany hair cascaded from her head, lying against her shoulders and neck. I realized I had stared for too long when she lifted her head and caught my eyes with hers. Oh, my, they were endless pools of chocolate. I had never seen such beautiful, captivating eyes before. I shook my head slightly to fall out of her gaze and took a seat across the room from her. In the corner of my eye I could see an exquisite blush form across her cream-colored cheeks. I wanted to look at her more, but the monotone voice of our new professor distracted me.

"Hello, everyone. Welcome to Humanities. This class will focus on classic literature dating back to the Biblical era, with some time spent on ancient Greece, Rome, and then some fun with France, because I like to live a little on the edge," he said as he passed out the syllabus for the course. My body refused to relax and I held my breath as best I could so I would not be able to take in any more of this female's overpowering aroma. What was happening to me?

I looked over the papers quickly, hoping I didn't seem too out of the ordinary. I took a second to glance back over at the alluring angel and noticed that she was holding her paper so tight it could rip. The blush had returned, and shoved my mind into overdrive. How quickly could I get her to leave? Could I get her to leave with me on some sort of emergency? I can't last for an hour and a half like this. I need her _now._ I know there was a small wooded area by this part of campus. No one would know. I could make it look like a car accident. Yes. Yes, that would work. She'd leave with me, no problem. Her skin looks so delicious; it probably tastes as sweet as strawberries. I wonder how soft it is, how easily I can tear into it and get to that sugary-sweet blood of hers.

_It looks like we have a diverse class this time around. I think I'll break the ice by having them introduce themselves! Less work on my end today. _"Now, before we go over the syllabus, I'd like for you all to introduce yourselves. Tell us your name, year, and major. That way we can get a sense of where all of our opinions will come from."

Voices filled the room, one by one. It took me by surprise, and I shook my head as logic broke my determination to kill. What was I about to do? I could have destroyed my family! I could have ruined everything. I was so selfish. No. I wouldn't hurt anyone. I just needed to survive the hour and get out. Get some fresh air. Just don't breathe the rest of the class. No one will notice.

I felt her eyes on me when the professor told me it was my turn.

"Edward Cullen," I spoke softly, trying to hide the strain in my voice. "Junior. My major is in music."

"You're new to the area, aren't you?" _His outside status may come in handy for discussion!_

"Yes, my family just moved here from Alaska." The female's eyes were burning holes in my face. Look away, please. Please stop looking at me. I hoped the female could somehow catch my thoughts. If only she knew how badly I wanted to kill her! As if the professor noticed my panic, he decided to continue with the introductions. I slowly inhaled to keep up appearances, but struggled with each breath. Her scent was so strong, it was coating me. I never experienced this with a human before. What was going on?

When it came to her turn, I couldn't help but glance at her. My eyes were narrowed in concentration as I tried to hear her thoughts. I was stunned. Nothing. There was nothing! Like her mind didn't exist! How was that possible?

"I'm Isabella Swan. I'm a junior, and my major is in philosophy." My mouth fell open at the symphony that was her voice. Now I wanted nothing more than to hear her scream as I drained her. No! Stop thinking like that!

"Ah, Chief Swan's daughter, right?" The professor's words perked my attention. Was this young woman the daughter of authority in town?

"Yeah."

Her voice was exuberant. Gracious. And I heard every note of nervousness in it.

I couldn't harm her. If she was indeed the daughter of the police chief, it would be too suspicious. There would be an investigation. We'd be discovered. I let out a deep breath. Good. This was good.

I listened to the professor and the thoughts of different students around me for distraction. The rest of the class was like sublime torture as I fought against every urge to run and grab Isabella and claim her as my meal.

Isabella. How appropriate a name for this chocolate-eyed angel.

When the professor finally dismissed us, I watched as the beauty grabbed her things and hustled out of the classroom. I took my time, hoping the separation would calm me. I made my way through the room, only to see her standing at the exit, looking at who I assumed to be friends down the hall. I could smell coffee nearby and watched as a young woman sprinted past us, spilling her drink on the floor right in front of Isabella. She didn't seem to notice and tripped against the slick liquid.

Before I could think, I went to her and grabbed onto her waist tightly. Her skin was blazing warm and sent electric shocks throughout my body. The scent of strawberries became overwhelming. As I helped her back to her feet, her hair moved away from her neck, and I felt venom pool in my mouth as her blood called out to me. Begging to be taken. My face hardened and I used what was left of my defenses to block out the thoughts of dragging her outside that very moment and taking her. Her gaze pulled me away from her neck, and I let her go. I saw her hands shaking at her front, and there were small goose bumps forming. She had felt my skin, hadn't she? She knew I was ice cold to the touch. Would she say something?

Kill her! Kill her! Drink her blood! You know you want it!

I had to get out of there. My head felt like it would explode from the inner battle it was having. I needed fresh air. I left her side quickly, hoping that she wouldn't follow me.

_Who was that? He was hot…why was he helping Bella?_

_Dude, what's up with that guy?_

_What a freak!_

_Looks like Bella's got some weird admirer! Haha!_

The thoughts of students around me drowned out my thirst as I got outside. I remembered that Alice wanted me in the dining hall, and I stepped off to the side of the building to compose myself.

"I warned you to be careful," her voice whispered from behind me. I turned to see her golden eyes narrowed at me with concern.

"You, you saw that?" I asked in wonder. She placed a hand on my arm to sooth me.

_Of course I saw it. And a hundred different outcomes. You are much stronger than you realize, big brother. You did the right thing. _She flashed me her quirky smile. "Now that you've had a few minutes to calm down, why don't we join the others for lunch? They're waiting."

"Right," I sighed. I wanted to press Alice on exactly what she saw, and why she didn't warn me about it. But more students were coming out, so I knew this wouldn't be the best time. I followed her to the dining hall, meeting up with the rest of my siblings. Emmett was already whining about work he had to do that night. Rosalie was silent as usual, but her thoughts ran rampant about unnecessary topics, such as clothing and compliments she had gotten so far that day. Jasper was reassuring me like usual. I wondered if Alice put him up to it. We found a big enough table for the five of us by the back of the hall, and sat down. I somehow managed to be stuck between the two couples.

Absentminded, I let my eyes wander around the hall. It was large, with a salad bar in the center. Students were lining up for food, and the gossiping reverberated around me. Alice started talking about what we were going to do the next weekend. I just wanted to stick around the house and compose some music. Emmett volunteered to scout out the territory with Jasper. Him and his need to fight grizzly bears! It was atrocious, I thought. I never cared too much for bears. They were rather large and could be difficult to bring down, depending on their age. I stuck with deer because I loved the chase. They put up a good fight, though.

_That family is so strange! _I heard someone think. _I mean, that Alice chick was creepy in class. Are they really all adopted? They look the same! _My eyes followed the source of the thoughts and led me to a table across the room. A dirty-blonde haired young woman was flashing glances our way while talking to her friends. _Bella better give me details on that hottie who helped her!_ My eyes widened when I recognized the name from previous thoughts in the hallway.

Then I took note of who was sitting with her. A young man was beside her, holding her around her waist. Her boyfriend, most likely. There was another young woman across from him, with a young man. They seemed reserved in comparison to the rash young woman. Lastly, I saw the hypnotizing brown eyes of Isabella. I tensed up immediately.

_Is that her, Edward?_ Alice thought beside me. I could only nod. _She looks pretty. _

_Stay calm, Edward. You can handle this,_ Jasper thought.

_He is totally staring at Bella! Why isn't he looking at me? I'm so much prettier than her! I know I'm taken, but that could totally change if he asked me out. _The obnoxious friend of Isabella's was aggravating me. She was like most other women. Was Isabella like that, too?

Bella. Was that her nickname? It suited her perfectly. She was indeed the definition of beauty.

_Who's the human staring at us? _Emmett mentally asked me.

"Isabella Swan," I said under my breath, low enough for only them to hear.

_Oh? She's the daughter of the police chief, isn't she? _Jasper thought. I nodded once, keeping my gaze on her as she watched us. She changed her gaze to the disgusting food in front of her, and I let out a sigh of relief.

_She's nothing to look at. She has no right to be staring at us like that. Her friends are offending me with their looks,_ Rosalie thought with a scowl on her face. I rolled my eyes at her.

_So what does she think of you, Edward? _Alice's question made me frown.

"I don't know. I can't hear her." I heard gasps from the others and I looked at them blankly.

"You…you can't?" Alice asked. I shook my head in response.

"Wow, that's weird, right?" _You can hear everyone, can't you? _Emmett asked as he scratched the back of his neck.

_Goes to show this human is more harm than anything._ Rosalie peered at the table for a moment before looking at me. I pressed my lips together, not certain if I should agree or not. I needed to talk to Carlisle about this. But thinking about Isabella only made me thirstier.

"Can we please talk about something else?" I pleaded.

It was then that I noticed her standing up at her table and glancing over at us one last time. I knew Rosalie was burning holes with her glare, and I probably wasn't much better. I was clinging at the table as my resistance waned. As if by the grace of God, Bella left in a hurry, and I relaxed before I could break apart the table. The others looked at me with sad faces. Jasper knew what I was feeling to some extent. I felt a wave of calm and thanked him for using his ability.

The rest of the day was smoother. I went to my other classes, relieved that Bella was not in any of them. Her major was philosophy, so she wouldn't need to take music courses. At the end of the day, I returned to my Volvo and saw Alice chatting away with Jasper. Emmett was being pulled over by Rosalie, and I perked an eyebrow at his sour expression.

"Aw, Rose, you know I was only kidding!" he begged. She looked displeased, and I smirked as her thoughts revealed why.

_I can't believe you hit on that bimbo! She has nothing on me!_

"Trouble in paradise?" I asked. Emmett looked pained as Rosalie hissed at me.

"I was joking around, to fit in, you know? The guys in my class were talking about some chick, and I bet I could get her number. So I was talking to her and was about to get it when…" He glanced at the fuming Rosalie and winced. "I was caught."

"I can't believe you would do something so low to please _humans_." Her voice was venomous.

"It was all in good fun, Rosalie," Jasper commented. Alice was trying to subdue her giggles.

"Can't say that was the smartest move, Emmett," she said. I smiled as he squirmed, looking apologetic.

"I'll make it up to you, Rose. How about I take you out somewhere? We could see what kind of movies are playing?" He was desperate.

"Ugh. Don't play me for a fool, McCarty." When Rosalie used Emmett's original last name, we all knew he was in serious trouble. I found myself laughing at how silly this conflict was.

"Okay, okay, you choose what we do. How about that?" he shrugged. Rosalie looked at him and gave him a sly smile.

"Deal."

We were disrupted by the blaring sounds of a rough engine somewhere nearby.

"I feel bad for whoever is driving the poor excuse for a car if it makes that much noise!" Jasper exclaimed. We all turned or attention to a vintage-model truck as it slowly made its way in our direction.

"Wow that looks like a collectible!" Alice cried. It surprised me that it could still be functional as I watched it drag itself along the pavement.

"I'll keep my Jeep Wrangler, thank you!" Emmett snickered. I grinned at his outburst.

Then I caught the delectable scent of the driver.

And her breath-taking eyes.

She seemed to stop as she looked at us; at _me_. Traffic started piling up behind her, and I heard my siblings chuckling. All I could so was smile at her, seeing how innocent she was in her disastrous truck. The Honda driver behind her blared his horn for her to move, and she jumped in her seat. As she drove away, I got the strangest sensation.

My life had inexplicably, irrevocably changed forever.


	2. Not Her

**Author's Note:** Here's part II! In terms of correspondence with _Starlight Vows_, this section goes along with the end of chapter 5, and all of 6 and 7! This was an emotional part to write in Edward's perspective. So many emotions and questioning thoughts! I really felt for him in his situation. Please leave reviews and let me know how I'm doing! Enjoy!

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><p>I'm still confused as to how I got talked into going to the Lexicon.<p>

Rosalie used it as her revenge with Emmett, and Alice insisted that I join them. I protested. The last place I wanted to go on a Friday night was some club where intoxicated humans would be slobbering all over one another and having clothed sex on a dance floor. It would only fuel my bad mood.

I was trying to avoid Bella as much as possible for the last week. It was difficult. I had to hunt twice as often just to sustain my inner lust. She had tried to communicate with me at one point, but her scent was so overpowering, I could barely look at her. The hurt in her eyes haunted me late at night. I kept telling myself that it was better this way. She shouldn't know me.

It didn't help that I would listen in on her friends' thoughts on occasion. I learned that she worried about her father a lot. She loved cheeseburgers and pasta. Her favorite colors were black and blue. Horror novels and movies were an addiction to her. Dancing made her scared for her life. So did shopping. She wanted to travel around the world. Every new trivial fact about her that I learned left me aching for more.

I had spoken to Carlisle the first night of classes and discussed Bella's inability to be heard. He couldn't come up with any explanation that warranted practicality. It deepened my frustration. His advice was for me to do my best to act kindly to her regardless, since she was the police chief's daughter. I heard scary stories from the students around me during those first few days, and I reluctantly agreed with Carlisle. We didn't need the police trying to dig information up about us because I offended her.

Earlier in the day, I decided to try and act civil. I walked over to her table during lunch. My siblings were less than thrilled at the idea of my being so close to her. I pushed through the lust and held my breath as I approached her. Her friends were horrified at my presence. Their thoughts bombarded me as I tried to speak.

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, the creep is here! Why do the scary guys have to be so hot? _

_Dude, what's up with this guy? He better not try to get into Bella's pants. If she turned me down, she'll definitely turn him down._

_I wish I could get a shot of him for the newspaper. Everyone keeps asking about the Cullens. He's looking at Bella like he wants to eat her…_

_What's he doing here? I hope to apologize! But…he looks so upset…_

"Isabella…" I shoved through clenched teeth as I staring losing myself in the lava of brown in her eyes.

_She's got it for him, bad! She's so not good enough for him. She'll find someone more in her league at the Lexicon! _My face tensed at the mention of that despicable place. Bella was going to be there?

_What's Bella going to do? This is too weird…_

I couldn't handle the words anymore. I clicked my heels and left the table without saying another word. Those "friends" of Bella's were terrible. Especially the blonde one, Jessica Stanley, if I remember correctly. She seemed to be the queen bee of the junior class, in terms of gossip. A part of me felt angry at her boyfriend's thoughts. Mike Newton was just as popular to the females on campus. It made me wonder how Bella fell into their company. And he had tried dating her? Why did that upset me so? The other two seemed more concerned than catty, which eased me as I slowed my pace.

If I could only be like one of her friends.

Wait a moment. What a strange thought! Since when have I ever wanted such a thing? I was dangerous. No one wanted to be around me. Such as it should be.

Yet a part of me desired to be at her side. Protecting her. Laughing with her. Touching her.

I shook my head in repentance. That can't happen. I'd kill her.

My jeans vibrated and with a groan, I pulled out my phone to see a text message from Alice.

_I'm sorry that didn't work out for you. I see her at the Lexicon tonight. Find her there._

That's right. She was going to the Lexicon. Bella didn't seem at all the type of girl who would parade around in revealing clothes and drink herself to oblivion.

I'd have to go now. Keep an eye on her.

Sometimes there were more dangerous things out at night than me.

The music was appalling. The bass's vibrations were intensified by my heightened senses as I hid myself in the darkness of the club. I leaned against the back wall, keeping my arms crossed and head low. The high-pitched voice of some overplayed artist nullified the gasps and laughter around me. I tried to focus on my point in being there. I thought about when I went to Bella's house to check on her before she left.

I decided to stay among the trees, hoping she wouldn't be able to see me with her human eyes. Her house was small and rundown. It looked homey. Comfortable. I started to wonder what the inside was like when I saw her exit the front door. She was covered by a jacket, which I found silly because it was warm out. Her face seemed frazzled a bit. Was she nervous about going out? It bothered me to no end that I couldn't hear her thoughts. At least she was wearing regular shoes. She was aware of her clumsiness. I decided to take my leave so I would arrive at the club before her, and made my way through the brush, sprinting into the wind my hard body created in the night.

Why was I being so concerned about Bella's safety? I didn't understand it. I had only been around her for two weeks. Her blood screamed out for me every time I was in close proximity. That wouldn't be the reason for me to want to shield her from harm. Something inside me longed for her.

"Edward, dude, go find a chick and dance! You look pitiful over here!" Emmett's booming voice growled at me. I leered at him as Rosalie shoved her slender body against his.

"I'd rather not." The smell of alcohol on his breath disgusted me. I didn't understand why he would drink so much when he wouldn't become intoxicated by it like humans.

"Man, you're such a buzz-kill, you know that?" He gave me a sour look. _Just tryin' to help, Eddie. Stop being so emo and get with the program. Try and have fun. It won't bite. Haha. Pun._ I shook my head.

"Go enjoy yourself with Rosalie, won't you please? It's not like I'm here of my free will, remember? Let me be."

"Pfft, whatever, Bro," Emmett shrugged and moved away with Rosalie.

Suddenly, I picked up the pleasant aroma of strawberries and perfume. I watched the mass of bodies on the dance floor, and spotted Bella with her dancing friends. Everyone that was around her melted away from my sight. A gasp was caught in my throat as I drank in her outfit. A very tight green tank top clung to her sweating skin. I could see a glimpse of her stomach above her low-rider jeans as she tried to sway her hips next to her friend, Angela. As she moved, her curled hair bounced against her shoulders, taunting me. I had yet to see her in makeup, and the subtle amount made her mesmerizing eyes pop against her paling skin.

Eyes that overshot the crowd and watched Rosalie and Emmett, whom were only a few feet away from where I stood. I dropped my gaze and turned away, hoping she wouldn't see me.

Time passed painfully slow after that. I restrained myself from watching her too much with her friends. She looked safe with Angela. In the brief time I saw Jessica and Mike, they were already intoxicated. Bella didn't act interested, which reassured me.

She wasn't like the average college student after all.

A few hours passed. From what I watched, Bella was exhausted. Her drunken friends didn't make it easier for her, either. I saw her excuse herself and hug Angela and Mike before leaving. I stealthily moved among the dancers, keeping my eyes on Bella's back as she walked.

_Man, the babes here are killin' me!_

_I have a hard dick just thinkin' about 'em! _

_Fuck, I need release. This sausage fest out here isn't doing a damn thing for me._

I heard their disturbing thoughts from inside the club. Fraternity members smoking outside. My eyes conspicuously lowered as I honed in on them, knowing Bella may pass them.

_Oh shit, she's fucking hot! Look at that ass move! _I neared the door and saw Bella hastening her pace to her truck. From here, it looked like it was miles away from her human body.

"Hey, Sexy Ladyyyyyy!" One of the retched males slurred.

"Woo, look at dat ass!" The one beside him called out. Bella walked faster. I wanted to grab them and snap their necks, but I had no reason at the moment. I couldn't kill them just for heckling her.

Then they started following her. I bit down on my bottom lip hard, watching the scene unfold.

"Look, Freddie, she's ignoring us! HOW RUDE!" One of them yelled. Bella was inches from her truck, and I saw how flustered she was as she fumbled for her keys.

"She's getting away! Let's teach her a lesson, guys!" The ringleader growled. Bella's keys fell from her shaking hands and slid under her truck.

Damnit, what do I do? Do I go help her? Make a scene with fighting them? My anger was getting the best of me. Why wasn't anyone else out there helping her? I expected her to scream for help. Her next actions surprised me.

I watched with wide eyes as she dodged the first large male, and then slammed her hand into the second's nose. Blood spewed from his face, spilling onto the ground. I could smell it from my place, and it intensified my fury. The first male she had dodged grabbed her hard at her shoulders and threw her into the pavement. I heard her cry of pain. Saw her body slide against the hard ground.

"You stupid bitch!" He groaned and kicked her in her stomach and side repeatedly. That was it. I had enough.

They weren't getting away with hurting my Bella.

Wait, _my_ Bella?

The thought left me when I heard her cry out in agony.

Ignoring any consequences, I ran to the parking lot at lightning speed, digging my hands into the body of her attacker, and smashing him into the lot. He cried out as I slammed my hand against his leg, crushing it under my fingertips. The smell of his blood all around me was taking me over. I growled at him, becoming uncontrollable.

How _dare_ you hurt Bella! She did nothing to you! She's not a piece of meat for you to soil! I'm going to rip you apart for attempting to-

Bella's whimpering got my attention and for an instant, I saw her in a fetal position on her knees, staring at me in horror. What was I doing? I let go of the torrid excuse for a human being and went to her side, holding my hand to her slowly. She flinched at the sight. Was she traumatized? Maybe I should take her to Carlisle, or the hospital…

"I won't hurt you," I said softly. "Need help getting up?" When she didn't respond, I slowly hunched over and grabbed her upper body, helping her to her feet. She was shivering under my touch. "Are you alright?" Smooth, Cullen. Of course she's not alright! The poor thing was just beaten! Her head moved up and down, and I let out a sigh. She wasn't catatonic, at least.

"E-Edward…?" Bella lifted her head and looked into my eyes, and I instantly felt remorseful. I had not fed the last two days, and she would be able to notice the difference in my eyes. Her own were full of pain. Well, she _was_ hurt. Maybe she wouldn't notice. Those animals should pay for that pain and fear in her eyes.

"Let me help you to your truck," I blurted, trying to keep my mind off of killing the human nearby. His cries were soothing to my ears. Bella's warm, electrifying skin was sooth to mine. It startled me as I held onto her. I let go of her once she as at her side, and gave her a moment to compose herself.

"My…my keys…" She mumbled. Ah, that was right. They fell underneath her truck. I rushed to the opposite side and grasped them in my palm. I reappeared in front of her, showing them to her. I hoped it would cheer her up. She took them, looking at me strangely.

"Want me to take you to the hospital? You don't look too good." It was true. Her face looked like all blood had drained from it. Blood. I held my breath when I realized she was bleed along her arm. Don't pay attention, don't pay attention. She's in need, not you! Her eyes were dazed as she stared at her keys, holding them tightly in her hand. "Bella?"

"What…the…fuck…!" I was flabbergasted at her language. Her beautiful eyes glared at me in repulsion. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Huh?" I couldn't think of any other response. Was she angry at me for helping her? Maybe she caught on to my previous behavior. Or she thought I would hurt her?

"You…you are…I don't even know what to call you! You stalked me, didn't you?" I stalked you? What? Her eyes darkened as she continued her allegations. "You followed me here, didn't you?" I took a step back as her face hardened with a look of hatred. "Jessica was right, wasn't she? You are a creeper! Worse than those assholes who just tried to…" Jessica? What did _she_ know? What was she telling Bella about me? The rage in her eyes hurt me deep down in my chest. I wasn't sure why.

"Bella, I-" She threw her sore hands up in front of her, gesturing me to stop. My mouth closed as her body began to shiver with rage.

"No. I don't want to hear it. You fucking stalked me since day one. All those weird stares, ignoring me when I tried to be nice, making me feel like trash when I didn't do a damn thing to you! Then you appear out of nowhere and expect me to be all appreciative? You're fucking joking." Her colorful langue sparked my anger. The anger that was simmering from the fight was flaring back up, and I spoke before I could control it.

"Look, I don't understand what you're thinking, but you're completely wrong. My sister dragged me here. I wouldn't be caught dead in that house of drunken orgies of my own will." Bella's body leaned against her truck as she gawked at me with shock. Her skin was growing paler by the second. She looked so fragile. Like a doll. I didn't want to frighten her more than she had already experienced. I was going about this all wrong. Taking a deep breath, I calmed my nerves and continued, "As for before, I apologize about that. My behavior was inappropriate, but I have my reasons." I watched anxiously for her reaction to my apology. She glanced at me with softening eyes before falling downwards. "Bella!"

I ran to her immediately, holding her warm, light body in mine. Was she weaker than I thought? Maybe internally bleeding? Or the trauma finally got to her.

She was a beautiful sight, even with her eyes closed and her heart racing. I held back the urge to pull some of her loose hair from her face as she reopened her eyes and gazed into mine.

"How?" I perked an eyebrow at her sudden question. "How do you know that name?"

Oh. Oh! I only heard it in her friend's minds! It was a nickname only. No one else called her that. Of course I shouldn't have known it. I really botched this up. Quick, come up with an explanation!

"I overheard your friends call you it a few times. Would you rather be called Isabella?" Not a complete lie. I prayed she bought it.

She pressed her fingers against her eyelids and pushed herself away from me. "Bella is just fine." I watched in awe as this brave young woman opened her truck door and sat down. How was it possible for a human to face what she had to expect herself to drive home in her condition? Her independence was yet another fact about her that enticed me. I noticed her face gazing at her side, probably inspecting her bruising. I felt compelled to protect her.

"Are you sure you're alright? I can take you to my father. He can look at you," I suggested, wanting desperately to take her pain away. It was crippling me as much her.

Good lord, what was happening to me?

"I'll be fine. I'll stick an icepack on it while I sleep." Her tone was sharp. Offended.

"Let me at least drive you home. You're in no condition to drive like that." Her resistance was frustrating me. But I understood. Why would she trust me after how I treated her the past weeks?

"I'm not leaving my truck," she replied. I caught a chuckle in my throat at her slight pout. It looked adorable on her.

"That's fine. I can drive for you." When she looked at me, I wished hard that I could hear her thoughts. Her eyes were kinder. They warmed me as much as her skin. Her eyes darted back towards the club, uncertain.

"What about…" Oh, she was worried about my siblings? If only she knew!

"I got a ride from Rosalie. I can drive you back, and then walk myself home." I didn't mind a walk alone. After this ordeal, I certainly needed to hunt, anyway. Bella winced as she shuffled herself into the passenger seat.

"Oh, o-okay," she groaned. I smiled as I got into the truck, getting settled and taking in all the wonderful scents. Bella's scents. The polyester in the truck was worn. I smelled her perfume. It was a mix of lavender and vanilla. She must've had coffee in there at some point, and I smelled a hint of granola. Each fragrance told me a little bit more about this human. Each one was almost as addicting as her blood. "Take care of my baby. He's fragile." Her sweet voice distracted me from my thoughts and I smiled.

"Promise."

As I turned on the truck, the headlights flashed against the wallowing human that had attacked Bella. I winced at the sight, hoping Bella wouldn't get upset. I saw her smile at my side, surprising me again. "Which way?" I asked to get her attention away from the vile filth.

"Uh, turn left on the main road." Her voice was meeker, like she was only half with me. I was silent as I drove, doing my best to focus on the road, rather than the pulsating blood so close to me. I never expected to be in this situation. What was my fascination with Bella? Why did she capture my attention, fill my thoughts, and create such a strange desire for me to be around her? No other human had done so in all the hundred or so years I've existed. "What are your reasons?" My fingers flinched at her voice.

"Reasons for what?" I think my voice cracked as I repeated her, still partially drunk in thought.

"For acting the way you have, with me." I remained still, keeping my eyes ahead of me. She wanted to know why? What would be a good enough lie to tell her? A part of me didn't want to lie. For some obscure reason, I felt the compulsion to say the truth to her. Warn her to stay away from me because I was dangerous. That my previous actions were for her safety. She seemed awfully perceptive. I could see it in her eyes as she looked at me, waiting for a response.

"If I told you I was just shy, would you believe me?" She startled me with a chuckle.

"Try again." I felt my lips curve upwards and I flashed a small smile in defeat. Definitely perceptive.

"I was scared of you because you're Chief Swan's daughter?" That was a legitimate answer. Plenty of the students complained about how Charlie Swan was a man to be feared.

"Take a right at the sign here, and try again. At least be more creative if you're going to lie." Goodness, this girl could see through me! Maybe Rosalie was correct in her assumption. Her hand moved to her neck, pulling away from of her hair, and I held my breath. My body went completely rigid. How ignorant could she possibly be? Did Bella have no sense danger?

"Do you really want to know?" I asked.

"Well, yeah, of course I do. It would save us both a lot of grief if you explained yourself." Her heartbeat was humming again. Like a bird's wings. I started breathing in slowly through my nose, trying to calm myself.

"Promise you won't laugh?" I smoothed my voice out to sound more convincing.

"Scout's honor." A heavy sigh escaped me and I relaxed my muscles. Maybe I wouldn't have to lie at all.

"I thought you were beautiful." The words rolled off my tongue as if it were a pure fact. Something grew warm inside me. How strange. I remained quiet, listening as her heart fluttered harder in her chest.

"What?" she gulped out, perhaps in shock. I glanced at her, taking in her wide eyes and parted lips. They looked lavish as they twitched slightly. Quickly turning my gaze back to the road, I blurted out a better explanation.

"I know it doesn't make up for how I treated you. I am very sorry about that. But it is the truth. When I saw you that first day, you could say I was smitten. But, I didn't have the courage to talk to you. When you slipped and I caught you, I thought I had the opportunity, but your friends were coming. After that, I was too nervous to approach you. I guess my staring was my strange way of coping. I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable, truly. I didn't mean for that at all. I know that you tried to talk to me once, but…" I hesitated for a moment before forcing myself to continue. "I-I was too scared about what you would say to me, so I left. So I decided after that to stay away from you. But earlier today, I felt that I had enough courage to talk to you, to apologize for being so awkward."

"That's why you came to my table?" She sounded interested. I nodded slowly, as the thoughts of her friends came back to mind.

"Your friends…didn't approve of my presence, so I left." My hands gripped the steering wheel a bit harshly. The anger was returning.

"Oh."

"Then, when I was dragged to that disgusting place, I saw you dancing with them. You seemed like you weren't having much fun. I wanted to talk to you then, but I felt like I would have scared you away. I saw how intoxicated your one friend was, and something told me to make sure you'd leave okay. When I saw those guys ogle you like that-" The pivoting sound my jaw made as it clenched tightly was loud to my ears. I wanted to turn back and shred apart that human and his disappearing companions.

"Thank you," Bella's soft voice cut me off. I was thankful that she did, because I would have lost myself to my fury otherwise. Her voice sang inside my head, calming me enough to relax my position. "I appreciate what you did, really. I don't know what would've happened if you weren't there to stop them." By the tone in her voice, I realized just how scared she was back in that parking lot. To lighten the mood, I decided to compliment her.

"You fought pretty well. I saw you break that one's nose." I smirked at the memory.

"Being the daughter of a cop has its perks," she said lightheartedly. I recognized where we were heading, and I fought a frown at the knowledge that we were near her house. "Turn here. It's the white house on your right." I know it is. As I drove closer, a frown crept along my face. Bella didn't seem to notice; her eyes were locked onto her house.

"Should I pull in in or park out front?"

"Front is just fine." When I parked the truck, I leaned back in the seat for a few seconds while Bella collected her things. "Thanks again for driving me." I opened the door and smiled at her. Her voice resonated like a song that was stuck in your head.

"Of course." I noticed her trying to move on her own, and I ran to her side and opened her door. "Need help?" She shrugged off my offer, getting out on her own and wobbling a bit. I watched her mahogany locks bounce against her skin, and I longed to run a hand through it.

"I should be fine," she grunted while sliding on her jacket slowly. I bit down on my lip when I saw her wince from then fabric contacting her scrapes. Her blood was calling to me again. Silently, I yelled at myself to hold back. When she straightened back up, she gave me a startled expression. Maybe I was too close to her? Her lips pouted just enough to make me want to touch them. Again, I fought the urge. "D-do you think…" she whispered as her large eyes watched me in what I imagined to be admiration. That was silly. "You think we could start over?" I didn't fight the smile that spread across my lips.

"I would like that, Bella." I was treading dangerous waters in that moment. Bella Swan had no idea what she was asking. I knew. And I was letting it happen. Surely, I was going to Hell. But the glowing smile on her innocent face suddenly made it all worth it. I wanted to make her smile like that more often.

"Well, I better go. Should get ice on my bruise before it gets worse." The smile left me as I watched her angelic form gravitate towards her home. I stayed in place, holding my hands in my pants pockets while I made sure she got inside safely. Her abrupt turn at the porch alarmed me, as well as the questioning look in her eyes. "See you on Monday?"

That strange spark from before exploded in my chest at her words. She _wanted_ to see me again. Too many thoughts plagued my mind at once. So, I forced a simple nod in response and watched her smile as she opened her front door and walked inside. I exhaled, relaxing my strained muscles and joints. I held in so much this night, I terribly needed blood.

My feet carried me into the night, away from Bella. Away from the only human that ever held my attention. She was calling to me in ways I had never felt before. She wanted my company. I wanted hers. She wasn't afraid of me after seeing what I could do. I was devoting my time to protecting her, with only a few words between us. And she was the one who suggested starting over. Did she desire my friendship? Had I ever a human friend? Would I even be capable of that kind of relationship with one whose blood I frenziedly craved?

Isabella Swan.

Bella.

My Bella.

Why did I want to want to be with her so?

No matter which angle my mind took took while I ran, I came to one singular truth: I had a lot to figure out over the weekend.


	3. Discovery

**Author's Note:** Man, this stuff has been pouring out of me like a flood! Anyway, I wanted to remind you that this will not be a full-fledged, stand alone story. This is meant merely to fill in the gaps in _Starlight Vows_, and to give us some insight on how Edward was feeling during certain parts. He's had a lot to deal with that Bella never knew about! Speaking of which, this chapter is a heavy one. This takes place between chapters 10 and 11 (with some reflection on chapters 9 and 10 as well). This chapter provides you a look into what Edward was up to those weeks he "disappeared". So many people have faved this and put it on alert, thank you! If you haven't already, please check out _Starlight Vows_, that way you'll understand Edward and the plot a little more. As always, feel free to leave me reviews!

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><p>Sometimes I despise having the ability that I do.<p>

Hearing everyone's thoughts wore heavy on my head if I didn't control it.

Not hearing Bella Swan's thoughts efficiently made it incredibly worse.

I made a breakthrough once, in the diner. She seemed displeased with our waitress. I decided to try something else that day. Increasing my concentration on her mind specifically worked, but only resulted in a few words. "Crazed fan" and "Rockstar". I assumed that I was the rock star, and the thought elated me.

It shouldn't have.

My family was keenly aware of what I was doing. I was only doing what Carlisle suggested. I was being civil, is all. Right?

Bella had seemed so flustered during that lunch. Her hypnotizing eyes looked at me with curiosity. I wished that I could spend all my wasted time looking into them.

We had small talk. She told me about her parents and hobbies. I provided her with snippets of my past and invited her to see my performance at orchestra practice. She was the first human to make me feel at ease.

Too much at ease.

_"Your eyes are different. Do you wear contacts?"_

"_That car was going to hit you! How did you get out of its way?"_

She questioned me twice that day. I was foolish to believe she wouldn't notice the change in my eye color. My lie wouldn't hold with her, either. When I crossed the road back to campus a little _too_ fast, she caught it. I was becoming undone. Damn, she even noticed I didn't eat! Would she discover the truth because of her sharp perception? It could destroy what Carlisle set up here in Forks. My family would never forgive me.

As I sat at the piano on that stage and played the sheet music in front of me, I kept stealing glances of Bella in the audience. She looked entranced by my music. Remotely haunted by it, actually. The blush that I had grown to love about her covered her cheeks while I played, making me smile to myself.

When she left for class, I felt empty inside. As if she had taken a part of me with her. It dawned on me then. In that moment.

I was becoming attached to Bella.

And I wanted to kill her with every false breath I took.

I made a decision when I left practice that day. I needed to disappear. From Bella. From my family. From Forks.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to hide my decision from _certain_ family members.

Alice was sitting on my bed when I arrived home. She harbored a worrying gaze towards me as I walked in.

"What do you want?" I snapped at her, knowing full well her intentions.

"Edward, why do you feel the need to run?" Her voice was soothing. Friendly. Like a true sister sounded. I ignored her and whisked around the bedroom, collecting items I wanted to take away with me. I wasn't sure where I was going to go, but I knew I would need clothes, my laptop, and some music to keep me sane while on my own. I had to leave before the others found out my plans. Seeing the devastation in Esme and Carlisle's eyes again would be something I wouldn't be able to handle. _There is no need for you to do this._

"Alice, please don't pressure me to change my mind. I have to do this," I mumbled while shoving some shirts in a bag.

"You're a terrible liar, Edward Cullen. You're running not because you think you're a danger, but because you are afraid. Admit it to yourself."

Afraid? Yes, I was afraid! Afraid of exposing this family because I couldn't control myself around a single human.

"I don't understand you, Alice. You have seen my bloodlust for Bella. You know what a threat I am to her and this family. I can't endanger us like that." My body moved in a trance as I packed my laptop and music CDs.

_Do you honestly not realize what is happening, Edward? Are you that blind?_

"Alice, please. I'm leaving, and you can't stop that."

_Why won't you listen to your heart?_

I turned and glared at her, feeling a tad guilty when I saw the disappointment in her eyes. No. I was making the right decision by leaving. She could make them understand.

"Tell Esme…tell her I love her. That I'm sorry. But this is the right thing to do." I frowned and bowed my head, grabbing my things and running out of the room in record speed.

_Keep your phone on you, please._

I tossed my luggage in my Volvo and flew down the road, disregarding any limits and lingering doubts. This is what everyone needed. What I needed.

Solitude was the only thing I could trust.

Small towns evolved into larger cities as the hours passed. I neglected much thought, only focusing on the Debussy that echoed in my car as I drove. Classical music was the best at cooling me down. I think it was the complex melodies and tirade of different sounds. For the first four days, I stayed on the road, going in circles, stopping only to get gas. My fingers longed to stroke my piano keys. The pent up frustration and confusion ached to come out in notes. Passing cars were a blur. The sun above hurt my eyes, and I hissed at times from feeling my teeth protrude from my mouth. It only caused my mind to relapse into how much of a monster I was. How weak I was to my instincts.

I had to get out of Washington.

It wasn't long before I made my way to the border between Washington and Idaho. For some reason, I couldn't cross it. Something compelled me to remain in this state. I groaned in irritation, turning around at the welcoming sign of Idaho. I drove backwards, hoping that maybe Oregon would be easier to cross. Past that was California. California was a large enough state, with plenty of open space where I could hide out. On that long stretch of pavement, I quickly lost track of time.

"_Why do you feel the need to run?"_ Alice's words floated in my mind mercilessly. They wouldn't leave. Did she honestly not understand the predicament I was putting our family through?

I was pathetic. Jasper was having a better time controlling his lust than me. He was only vegetarian for a couple decades off and on. I swore off human blood since my rebellious stint back in the late 1920s. I believed I had a decent handle on it. Until I met Bella.

She broke down all my protective walls in mere days.

My infatuation with this single human was more hazardous than anything I had encountered in my existence.

_Do you honestly not realize what is happening, Edward?_

Why did her words inhabit my mind now, after days of silence? I growled at myself, gripping the steering wheel so hard, I could hear the steel weaken under the cracking plastic.

Get a hold of yourself, Cullen.

Thirst beckoned through my throat. Thankfully, I was nearing a wooded area close to Pasco. After parking my car along a small trail, I took off on my feet to hunt. There was plenty of game to my relief, and I took my time to assault them. Once I started, I found it difficult to stop. It took three does and a buck before I felt satisfied. The cool, crisp air dowsed me with comfort while I sauntered around the trees that stretched for miles. The trail I was on led me to a small stream, and I took the opportunity to wash my face free of the dried animal blood which coated it.

The reflection of a broken man stared back at me.

"_I just couldn't handle how that woman was gawking at me."_

_"See what it feels like?"_

I frowned at my reflection, remembering how uncomfortable I made Bella feel. How did she forgive me for that with such little difficulty?

Stop it. Don't think about her. She's safe in Forks, in her normal, human, blissful life. Living however she wants to, doing anything she likes.

"_I'm sure you must be good at something."_

"_Yeah, getting myself in bad situations. I'm __really__ good at that."_

I smirked as I imagined Bella's innocent face beaming as she stuck out her little pink tongue in my direction.

Was I really doing the correct thing by leaving?

Yes. Unquestionably. This was the safest choice.

For Bella.

For my family.

They didn't need me mulling around the house. I knew how much it hurt Esme to see me like that. I was driving my siblings mad.

_We only want for you to be happy, Edward._

How can I be happy, Carlisle? I started back at my face in the clean, flowing water beneath me. The golden eyes of a killer glowered at me, with a trembling bottom lip. What made me happy in the first place?

Soft, cream-colored skin.

Erratic, yet melodic thumps of a racing heartbeat.

That bright, contagious smile that took my unnecessary breath away.

Laughter that shooed away any discomfort.

Endless strands of long, mahogany hair.

Rosy cheeks that resonated alluring heat.

A blush that brought out the innocence of its owner's eyes.

Pools of chocolate.

_Why won't you listen to your heart?_

The creature's eyes bulged out of his head as he looked at me. I shook my face and splashed my hand through the water, getting back to my feet and returning to my car. I still had some driving to do before reaching the border.

There was another mental roadblock when I saw the sign welcoming me to Oregon. Why was this happening to me? My chest was close to burning as I drew closer to leaving Washington. What was this about?

_Your isolation from the world had an entirely different source. _

Argh! Why won't these voices leave me alone! I don't want to think about it anymore! It was only causing me pain.

"_Why do you feel the need to run?"_

_Don't try to avoid it._

"Damnit!" I screamed at the top of my undead lungs, nearly shifting the car into a telephone pole. The glass windows shook violently. Why? Why was my life so unbearable? Why was I still around after all this time? Why was I hurting so many people?

"_You think we could start over?"_

I gasped, slowing down my Volvo and pulling off to the side of the road. I just experienced Alice's earlier vision.

Bella's voice stopped me from colliding with the pole.

But why? Why did her voice resonate at that last second?

_Are you that blind?_

Was I?

I took a few deep breaths, lowering my side window and feeling the warmer, west-coast breeze rustle my hair.

What had made my life change so drastically in such a short amount of time?

Isabella Swan.

Bella changed me. Something deep, buried, abandoned inside me was reviving. I recalled all the confusing feelings I had felt the past few weeks. The anxiety over her scent. The lust I fought to hold back for her blood. The gripping need to protect her from the world. From myself. The desire to hold her in my arms. The urges to brush her hair along her cheek, to feel her warm skin against mine. To…to _kiss _her.

Impossible. Ludicrous. I was going insane from her scent. That had to be it.

Cease the lying. It is obvious that your fabrications are too transparent to hold. Accept the truth.

What is that truth, exactly?

The stark contrast of dusk and night toyed with my eyes as I watched the sun disappear from the sky. As the clouds hovered over the small cliffs arched around the road, I closed my eyes, revealing to myself the impossible reality.

I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, was in love for the very first time.

In _love_ with Bella.

"Love…?" I whispered the word to myself, feeling a strange sense of relief wash over me as it flowed past my lips.

This confession caused an enormous amount of dread to pierce through me like a knife.

I had doomed us both without realizing it.

It was beyond any measure of danger. The Volturi would decimate my family and me if it became known. I had broken one of their most sacred rulings.

I fell in love with a human.

Vampires weren't allowed to have relations with humans in such a way.

A few of my fingers grasped a patch of my hair and yanked it hard to deal with my vexation. What was I to do now? The realization that the pain in my chest was due to being far from the young woman that I was madly in love with granted me little confidence.

As much as I desperately wanted to return to her, I knew staying away would benefit her rather than being around me.

No. I would stay away from Forks. Everyone benefited from that. Even if it cost me the one thing I wanted more than blood. It was worth it. Twisting the key and turning my Volvo on, I clenched my teeth and drove past the welcoming sign into Oregon.

This was for the best. I was granting Bella the greatest gift: life. She would never realize my sacrifice. She deserved to live a happy life with no worries or regrets.

For a week and a half, I spent my time driving around Oregon before getting holed up in a hotel in Redding, California. Television was boring. Only a few news channels, movie channels, and generic cable networks were available. My laptop became my only true salvation, and I decided to look up various compositions that I would like to try playing someday. I missed my Steinway. Would the others take good care of it while I was gone? I cringed at the possibility of Emmett trying to play it, smashing the expensive keys with one flick of his wrist on accident.

Out of sheer boredom, I checked on my old email account. Mostly filled with spam, my inbox looked drab. Except for a single email from a recipient I recognized as Alice. It was dated from the day before. I clicked on the link, biting down on my lip as I read _"How's the weather in CA?"_ along the subject line.

_Dear Edward,_

_Honestly, you're killing me with all the fuddled up choices you've been making the past few weeks. _

"_Should I stay or should I go?"_

_The Clash would weep for your misrepresentation of their song. _

_We all miss you. I wanted you to know that. Esme's been the most distraught of us. She blames herself for your running off. She seems to be reliving when you left before. Carlisle hasn't been much better. Jasper's been in a frenzy and on the verge of a breakdown because of them._

_I tried to explain your reasoning, but of course no one else can wrap their heads around you, as usual. Frankly, I don't fully grasp it, myself. You have found the one thing that makes you happy in this "terrible existence" of yours. Yes, I said happy. And believe me; I saw it in your eyes when you were around Bella. The rest of us want you to be like that all the time. You can sit in that crampy hotel room and barrage yourself with all the fearful dismissals you want, but I see that you two can work this out. _

_You._

_Will._

_Not._

_Hurt._

_Her. _

_The rumor mill has been causing quite a ruckus for all of us, but we respect your decision and haven't confirmed anything for anyone. That doesn't stop what I hear and see. Bella's been lost without you. I've seen it in her eyes. Like you ripped something from her when you left. Only real love can do that to a person in such a short amount of time. She may not know she loves you yet, but I know the signs. _

_Don't take something that beautiful away from her. Or yourself. Both of you deserve to be loved._

_I won't push you anymore. And if you decide to stay away, I'll respect that and won't leave you any other messages. _

_But if you finally decide to break out of that dreary attitude you hide yourself behind, know that we are all waiting for your return with open arms (or fist-pumping in Emmett's case). _

_Wishing you well, hoping for you to come back home._

_Love always,_

_Alice._

_P.S. If you decide to come home, please turn on your cell._

It took three re-reads for me to absorb everything in the email. After mulling it over for what felt like hours, I closed the laptop and sighed.

Alice, like usual, was right.

Who was I to kid myself? Bella somehow brought out the humanity still left in me. She made me feel alive. And she loved me? Reading that at first made me flinch. How wrong it should have felt. But somehow, it eased me. Alice wrote that we deserved to be loved. Did I? I knew Bella did. Would she find that with me? The thought of her looking lost without me at college flicked something inside. I had been feeling the exact same way. This whole time I felt lost.

Would Esme and Carlisle ever forgive me for what I had done? Leaving so rashly like that? They had when I left before. Open arms, Alice wrote. Hm.

I couldn't bear being away from Bella any longer. She had melted my frozen heart. It was time I went back and thanked her properly.

The drive back to Forks was mental anguish, to put it simply. Now that I had succumbed to the truth of my feelings, a whole new fog of doubt clouded me. Would I be able to tell her the truth and not traumatize her? With her clever perception, she would easily find out what I was. She liked horror movies and books…maybe she would think me as a vampire from one of her novels? I laughed softly to myself at the thought. Those stories were too elaborate on our kind. The idea that garlic, crosses, or silver bullets could destroy us was preposterous. The only true connections to reality that those stories held were that sunlight did effect to us, though not harmfully, and we had our dazzling charms to persuade humans. Would she find me repulsive?

I was thinking ahead of myself. It wasn't even confirmed that she had feelings for me. I needed to find out for myself, before my mind started plotting how to open up to her.

While at a stop light, I noticed my phone on the floor of the passenger side. Alice mentioned in her email for me to turn it on, and I shrugged as I reached for it. Pressing the power button, I watched color blast across the small screen. Once loaded, a dozen or so notifications popped up, telling me I had calls and text messages. All from my family members. I rolled my eyes and groaned. The light turned green, taking my attention away from the device. About fifteen minutes went by before I heard it ring. My fingers grasped the phone and held it tightly to my ear, and I stiffened as Alice's voice came through.

"_Nice to know you're coming home, big brother,"_ she said. _"You're making the right decision this time."_

"Erm…Thanks, Alice." I frowned. "Is everyone alright at home?"

"_I informed them of your return, and Esme is radiating excitement. Emmett and Rosalie are, well, you know. Carlisle is resolute. Jazz is extremely relieved, I think. Poor guy hasn't been able to relax since you left."_

"Tell him I'm sorry, won't you?"

"_I'll leave you to do that when you're back. Your voice sounds better. Lighter."_

"I feel lighter."

"_Glad to hear it. Expect a long, family meeting when you get here."_

"Thanks for the warning."

"_See you in about eight hours,"_ she said before hanging up. I knew what I'd be walking into would be a mess. A mess I created. One I needed to clean up.

It was nighttime when I was back in Forks. The lights were on at my house when I pulled in, and I could hear everyone's chatter as I sheepishly entered.

_Oh, my son, please be alright!_

_Stupid Eddie. He needs to cut the crap and stop worrying Esme so much._

_It'll be okay, Edward. Everything will be okay._

_How ridiculous can he be? Doing all this over a human?_

_Your emotions are all over the place, Edward. Chill out._

_Come sit with us in the living room, Son. We have a lot to discuss._

I dropped off my things at the dining table. I was met with their eyes on me. There was stillness in the air that made me uncomfortable. Esme ran and embraced me in her strong arms, gasping in delight.

"Oh, Edward, thank goodness you're alright," she said into my shoulder. _You look so worn down! _I patted her back.

"Sorry for worrying you, Esme."

"Mind joining us for a family meeting, Edward?" Carlisle asked from the couch. Esme reluctantly let me go and sat beside him. I sat in the rocking chair by them, feeling Rosalie's glare and scowling. "Now, Alice had been trying to help us understand what is going on here, but I'd like to hear your take on why you decided it was necessary for you to leave Forks on such short notice." _Explain yourself._

My hands clasped at my lap and I stared down at my shoes.

"I felt I would be putting this family at risk if I stayed any longer."

"That's nonsense! Why would think that?" Esme cried out. _You're a part of our family! How could you abandon us like this? _

"Let him speak, Dear," Carlisle said. Esme sighed softly and nodded. I lifted my head and looked over at Alice, who was smiling at me reassuringly as she clasped Jasper's hand.

"I've met a human whose blood is more desirable than any other I have encountered. I knew since the day I met her that it would pose a threat to our family. I've told Carlisle about her, and how she is resistant to my ability. She is also incredibly perceptive, and has picked up on several of my 'differences'. I felt that if I remained in Forks, something would happen either with her reaching a discovery or my lack of control to hold back my bloodlust."

"That isn't the only thing, is it, Edward?" Alice arched an eyebrow. _I didn't reveal your feelings toward Bella. Don't you dare keep it a secret. The others deserve to know._

I was frozen for a moment; my body beginning to shudder. My head shook and I sighed deeply.

"What is it, Edward? Did something happen?" Esme asked.

"I…I've fallen in love."

_WHAT?_ Everyone but Alice seemed to exclaim the same thing simultaneously in their heads as they gawked at me, wide-eyed and incredulous. Alice grinned and clapped her hands together. Carlisle kept reserved, but his eyes were still wide. Rosalie snarled under her breath, while Emmett blinked a few times, as if in shock. Jasper flashed me a casual grin.

_Thank god you finally admitted it,_ he thought. Was it that obvious?

"I see." Carlisle scratched along his chin in thought. "Is it with Isabella?" I nodded. "Hm. Thought so."

"Isn't this bad? Against Volturi rules or somethin'?" Emmett asked. _Don't need those crazies here starting up stuff._

"It is indeed against their rules." Unable to take the stares anymore, I lowered my head in defeat. How was this ever going to work?

"Just great. Lover boy here is going to get us killed!" Rosalie growled. _Why can't he be normal for once?_

"Now, wait a minute. Alice, have you seen anything transpire in the future involving the Volturi?" Carlisle inquired. She grinned and shook her head.

"Not at all. If they ever find out, it won't be for a very long time. We're all safe."

_Edward has finally found someone! How wonderful!_ Esme's thoughts were loud and overpowering. I glanced at her eyes to see them sparkling with…hope?

"Does she feel the same for you, Edward?" Carlisle's voice softened. He sounded curious.

"I'm not sure. We only began conversing the day I left."

"Oh, she does. Don't worry about that," Alice smirked. I looked at her with a puzzled expression. When I tried to focus on her mind, she started repeating calculus equations to block me out.

"How close have you been with Isabella?" Carlisle's eyes darkened as they looked into mine.

"I've held her a few times," I choked out. Their gazes were intensifying, and a risqué image from Emmett popped into my head. Me holding Bella, slipping her tank top strap down her arm and kissing down her neck…

_Holding her alright…haha…_

My face immediately hardened as I glared at Emmett. He coughed and the image fizzled away.

"And you have been able to control your lust?" Emmett snickered. I growled lowly.

"So far. It's been greatly difficult, though I have managed."

_His control is stronger than he realized. _"That must be a good sign, right?"

"A good sign for what?" My hands gripped one another between my thighs and I frowned. What exactly was he getting at?

"A good sign that you can have a relationship with her, of course!" Esme semi-squealed. I had never seen her so thrilled.

_That sounds like the most disgusting idea. That human will expose us for sure! _Rosalie hissed under her breath, making Emmett bite his lip and wrap his arm around her.

"That cannot be a safe idea, Carlisle. What if we are discovered?" The sound of my own voice hung heavy over me.

"We won't be! God, Edward, you worry too much! Just enjoy the fact that you somehow managed to attract a girl! Though how your broody demeanor did that, I'll _never_ understand!" Alice huffed, throwing her arms out at me before crossing them at her chest, Jasper chuckled. _Stop second guessing every little thing!_

_Alice is right. I'm fine with it, actually. It would give me better practice with resistance. _I furrowed my brow and looked at Jasper hard. _What? If you can do it, then I surely can!_

"You must invite her to dinner!" Esme demanded, patting Carlisle on his thigh and glowing with a smile on her face. My lips fell open and I froze.

"Wha-what?"

"Don't be silly! I have to meet this girl who has charmed you! Did you not expect to introduce her to us?" Her eyes filled with hurt.

"No…I just…" I had trouble finding words. Bella had not seen me in weeks. I didn't know if she spoke to my siblings yet. Thrusting her into meeting the entire family at once like that…"Don't you think introducing her to all of you at once would be a bit much?"

"Nonsense! It's a perfect opportunity! I've been itching to test out the kitchen!"

"Carlisle?" I peered at him, watching as his lips opened to speak, then closed.

"I think meeting her would be a smart idea." His acceptance startled me. _It gives us a chance to see how she reacts to us. And for me to measure just how perceptive you say she is. _"It will give her a normal circumstance to speak with us. You wouldn't want to let down your mother, would you?" He shot me an apologetic half-smile as Esme clapped her hands vehemently.

"What day is it?" I had completely lost track of time while I was gone.

"Wednesday. Why?" Jasper asked.

"Just wondering." I wouldn't see Bella in class tomorrow. I'd have to track her down. "If this meeting is over, I'd like to retire to my room and clean myself up." I stood, ignoring everyone's' thoughts as best I could. Alice and Esme were badgering me on what I was going to do, Emmett was trying to send provocative ideas, and Carlisle was trying to guide me with fatherly suggestions. It was too much to handle. Within seconds, I grabbed my things and hurried up to my bedroom.

The bed was comforting when I collapsed upon it. Staring at the ceiling, I plotted my approach to Bella. What I would say, how I'd invite her over…would it be too rash to ask for that evening? Would she have plans? I didn't remember her friends thinking she would go out on weeknights very often. I assumed she just ate at home with her father. It was certainly a stretch, but I had a good feeling about it. I'd be seeing Bella again. My chest would feel whole. What a strange, yet wonderful feeling it was.

Watching the sunrise from my balcony was an occasion I had missed while away. I decided to stay at home that day, focusing only on cleaning myself (and my room) up, helping out Esme with her cooking plans, and anxiously counting down the minutes until I'd surprise Bella with my return.

Apparently, I had grown accustomed to California's warmer air, because the cold autumn breeze surprised me as I left the house. Wanting to look normal, I brought along my long coat and slipped it on before getting inside my car. Carefully, I drove to the college, remembering from our stroll where she usually parked her truck. That battered thing was depressing to look at. But she loved it dearly. I wanted nothing more than to give her a new car.

Becoming overzealous, aren't we, Cullen?

Shaking away the absurd idea, I pulled into the parking lot, eyeing the red rusty color of the vehicle close by. Bella had not come out yet, so I took my time in parking a few rows down. The nerves in my body were tingling all over as I walked to her truck. I was gasping awkwardly, which was unlike me. I felt like a boy who was going to ask a crush out on a date. Maybe this was how it would have felt in my era: asking a girl nervously if she would court me, after I was approved by her mother and father. I surely would go after Bella if I was human. I'd chase her in any lifetime.

Then I saw her as she exited the nearest building. She was as breath-taking as the last time we met. She was wearing a thicker jacket that hid the top of her hips, along with a pair of dark-blue jeans and her trademark converse sneakers. Her hair was pulled up partially; hair was hanging down along her temples, and it also draped down from what looked like a clip at the back. My eyes drank her in as much as possible, especially when she stopped to look at a collage of flyers along the brick wall. What was she staring at? Her slim fingers grabbed at a piece of paper and pulled it away from the wall, reading it as she walked towards the parking lot. I leaned against the back of her truck, hoping not to look too suspicious. I held in a breath as she approached, and I took in her delicious scent. It was as powerful as the first time I had seen her. I knew it would be. Being apart from her so for long was going to make it more painful to resist now.

Calm down. You can do this. Alice said you wouldn't hurt her. Just be polite. Ask her to help you catch up. Stick to the plan.

When she grew close enough to be within human earshot, I smiled.

Here goes nothing.

"Hello, Bella."


	4. I'm Drowning In You

**Author's Note:** Here's another section for you! This is a much shorter chapter, because I was only focusing on a small scene. I felt this would be a good break from all the daunting things I have been writing as Edward. As for where this fits in _Starlight Vows_, it happens during chapter 12. Though, Bella has no knowledge of this scene at all. I liked how Edward watched over Bella as she slept in the books, so I decided to take a snippet of that for myself in my story. But so you know, he only does it this once, unlike the Edward in the saga, who does it for weeks. I've already started writing the next section, and as a hint, I'll tell you that it will be covering Edward's captivity in Volterra. It's going to be pretty dark, which is why I decided to write this part to give you all something nicer to read beforehand. Anyway, please enjoy and don't hesitate to leave reviews!

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><p>"Sweet dreams, Bella," I had said to her. The words caused her heart to hum inside her chest. Oh, how I absolutely adored that sound. Bella's face was so close; the heat radiating from her cheeks made me swoon inside. She was perfect. It took all I had to refrain from kissing her plump, soft-looking lips. The rustic paint of her truck faded away into the night, leaving me craving more contact with the young woman I loved more than myself.<p>

She had no idea.

Fear sprung up from my gut as I thought about our conversation. She was more perceptive than I ever imagined. Was she oblivious to just how _close_ she was in her theories? The last word on her list was frightfully correct. I was so quick to pry about her ideas. But her hesitation halted me. I knew better. Providing her the space she would need to collect her thoughts was the better route.

She knew I wasn't normal. _Human_.

Maybe she wouldn't be terrified when she found out the truth.

No, she would be terrified. She should be.

But I didn't want her to be. I wanted her to accept me for what, no, who I was.

The ache in my heart returned, similar to the night before. I knew now that it stemmed from my distance from Bella. One of my hands ran through my messy hair and I sighed into the cold air. When I was around Bella, I felt invigorated. Uplifted. She was like a slice of my own personal heaven.

Her sweet smell welcomed me as I got back into my Volvo. Oh, Lord, Bella was _everywhere_. The remaining heat from her body still sat in the air, causing the longing within me to fester. The scent of strawberries was discreet, hidden mostly by what was left of the scent from her blood. I licked my suddenly parched lips as my fingers gripped along my steering wheel.

I had to see her. Even for a few minutes.

Desperate, I used the cloak of darkness to sprint off to Bella's house. I saw a hazy yellow light behind pale purple curtains on the second floor, bringing a smile to my face from where I stood in the trees. Charlie Swan was watching something on the television downstairs, and from his heartbeat, he was relaxed in his sleep. No sound came from my movements as I made my way to a tree that stood a few feet away from what was Bella's bedroom. As my fingers felt along the hard, fragile bark, I grew nervous. Her heart was racing oddly, making me wonder why she sounded so anxious.

Her footsteps drew closer, and I flinched, bracing myself against the siding of her house when I heard wood moving above my head. Bella let out a sigh as she gazed out into the night; unable to see me with her human sight. I could see the bottom of her jaw and her fingers as they dropped from the window ledge she had lifted. A few of her brown locks dangled along her skin, making me stifle a gulp in my throat. A moment later, she was gone. I took some time to compose myself as I subdued my bloodlust. When I felt comfortable again, I noticed that her light was out.

I climbed the tree without effort and hunched on one of the thick branches that sat just below her open window. My eyes peeked through the thin curtains to see inside; undeniably curious to how Bella lived. Even in the dark, her room looked fascinating to me. I spotted a few posters adorning her walls that were from various music artists and films. There were also painting recreations, perking my interest in how such a young human could be interested in old-fashioned art. A small desk sat at the left of my sight, with her laptop lazily half-open and still on. Books were strewed around it and on the pale-brown wooden panels of her floor. Some were textbooks, but I also saw some classics that shocked me further. Wrinkled clothes were tossed along the desk chair and by her small closet. I could smell Bella's blood from outside, and it made venom pool around my tongue. I held my breath as I listened to the lull of her sleeping heart. When my eyes fell upon the dark blue comforter that obscured much of her skin, I exhaled slowly.

Her face was turned to my direction. I saw her lashes twitch as she slept, pressing her lips against the side of her hand at her pillow. The subtle moonlight that poured into the bedroom extenuated the light pink hue of her lips as they pursed together.

Exquisite.

I felt myself being pulled to her form as she slept. Carefully, I grabbed hold of her windowsill and slipped into her bedroom. I didn't dare move from the window, fearful that I may wake her or lose control. For now, I was content enough to watch my beautiful Bella dream. I wish I could see what she dreamed about. What her unconscious aspirations or desires were. Did she dream of traveling? Of what her future would look like? Being with her mother and father? I frowned as I thought about how sad she sounded when she first told me of their divorce. My family had genuinely opened up to her. Did she feel comfortable around them? They already loved her.

Not as much as I loved her, though. No one could rank higher than me in that.

I sensed her move abruptly, and watched as she twisted under her blankets. One of her calves appeared from the linens, and the moon shined over it, making her skin look almost as pale as mine. She had shifted so she lay on her back, and I saw two mounds appear under a thin, but baggy t-shirt from just above the comforter. They looked as though they would be soft to the touch. I held my breath again, feeling rather vulgar for staring at her chest like a perverse creature. Shaking my head, I changed my attention to her fingers as they flexed back and forth between her sheets.

"Edward," a soft moan came from her, startling me. My body tensed and I moved quickly to the ledge, wondering how she could see me in the shadows. But her eyes were still tightly shut, and her heart beat had not changed.

Was she dreaming? Of me?

Something warm grew in my chest at the thought. My Bella was dreaming of me. I relaxed my muscles and smiled. She quietly called out to me a second time, and I tugged at my hair to stop myself from going to her. Her voice was seemingly broken, like she was trying to find me. It was odd, but made me only want to go to her more.

I'm right here, Bella. Don't sound so sad. If I could only scoop you into my arms…

"Beautiful…" She murmured, arching upwards. I spotted her skin as she moved, shimmering with perspiration. My resistance was faltering. Was she calling me beautiful? I failed in comparison to her true beauty. Mine was false. I decided to try what I had done in the diner, furrowing my eyebrows and strengthening my concentration on her mind to see what she was dreaming about.

I got a single image: a colonial version of myself as I was beckoning her to join me at my piano bench. Why I wore such old-fashioned clothing confused me, but I didn't focus on that. Instead, I focused on her mind harder, trying to gain the concept. Instead, I was met with trees and an image of me standing amongst them.

Had she seen me that night of the Lexicon, watching over her? I bit down on my lip.

"Bella…" I whispered so low that she couldn't possibly hear. She churned in her sleep again, and I saw her face harden as she faced me, still asleep.

"Can't find you…" my angel whimpered. It tugged at my thawing heart.

"I'm right here, Bella." I made sure to whisper a little louder for her to hear. A soft blush crawled along her cheeks as her face smoothed out.

"Just got you back…don't leave…" Her words stunned me. I drew in a sharp breath, smelling her blood mixing with her sweat. She _was_ dreaming about me. Bella was sad that I had left her. Her voice was pleading in her sleep. My hands squeezed into fists as I held onto the last of my control.

"I won't, Bella. I promise," I replied. The corners of her lips moved upwards, and she smiled before turning around, now facing the other direction.

A deep breath exhaled from my frozen lungs as I sighed. Her scent was making me dizzy from its strength. It was time for me to leave her to the privacy of her dreams.

It pained me to leave her again. But I urgently needed to hunt. Being around her strong scent was causing uproar with the demon inside me.

I'll see you tomorrow, my Bella, I silently promised her as I took off from her window, losing myself in the hunt of a nearby doe.


	5. Shell of a Man

**Author's Note:** Here's the Volterra section! Before I continue, I must warn you that there is a lot of dark, graphic stuff going on in this chapter. There's various types of torture, implications of sexual assault, and all around frightening stuff. So brace yourselves. As for _Starlight Vows_, this covers the end of chapter 31, and reconvenes in chapter 36. I hope you enjoy, since this was the hardest section for me to write. By the way, there is SO MUCH Italian in this chapter! Haha. Leave reviews! Thanks for all the favs and feedback!

Also, thanks so much to Camilla10 for the Italian translation help! You rock!

* * *

><p>"<em>Babysitting <em>will not be tolerated_. _You are to come with us right now."

"Alright."

"Don't…don't leave me..."

"You aren't going to harm her, are you?"

"Of course not. Aro is only interested in speaking with you. She's safe, for now."

"Let's go."

My Bella's shattered eyes as they stared into mine before I abandoned her at that gazebo would surely haunt me for the rest of eternity. What choice did I have? Leaving her, like I had thought long before, was the only way to save her. I knew as I went off with Jane and Alec that the chances of me coming back were miniscule. Aro wouldn't be so forgiving of my actions. He didn't want Bella. I was his beloved prize.

Please, Bella…forgive me someday for what I've done.

You're human. You can get over this. You have to.

My love for you will live within that perfect heart of yours.

Live. Live for the both of us.

I'm so sorry…Bella.

My only love.

"Benvenuto a Volterra, Edoardo. È un piacere averti a casa mia [Welcome to Volterra, Edward. It's such a pleasure to have you in my home]." Aro's sinister grin was anything but welcoming as I walked in front of Jane and Alec to see him. Caius and Marcus, the other elders of the coven, were sitting in their thrones. I was silent the entire trip to Italy, and Alec's uncanny ability to cloud over my own irritated me. "Come sta Carlisle? Ho sentito che se la passa davvero bene in America [How is Carlisle? I hear that he is doing quite well in America]."

"You could say that," I replied in English.

"Sono felicissimo di saperlo. So che si è completamente dedicato alla medicina [That is wonderful to hear. I know that he has been quite busy in the human medical field]." Caius snorted behind him. "Il fascino che prova per gli umani si è evidentemente esteso anche al resto della sua congrega [His fascination with the human way of life has clearly spread amongst his coven]." I didn't respond. "Ho saputo che hai infranto una delle nostre regole più sacre. Te ne rendi conto [I hear that you have broken a very sacred rule of ours. You are aware of this, yes]?" My hands tensed at my sides. I remained unflinching from his gaze. Carlisle had explained me to me years ago how Aro worked. "Le regole mi imporrebbero di eliminarti immediatamente per la tua disobbedienza [The rules dictate that I should dispose of you immediately for your defiance]." I wasn't scared of death. Without having Bella at my side, I welcomed it. I didn't want to exist in a world where we weren't together. That alone would be my hell. His eyes glanced over to my side, at Alec. He nodded, and I suddenly felt the cloud lift away from my mind. Aro's gaze returned to me. _I have a better idea for you. Your ability is one that would be well-fitting for the Volturi. You will fit right in with the rest of the guard._

"I'm not joining your guard, Aro," I spat. I found it interesting that though he spoke in Italian, he thought in English. It didn't matter much. I understood both.

"È così? Oh, avrei volute che tutto andasse nel più liscio dei modi [Is that so? Oh, I wanted this to run smoothly for everyone]," he sounded disappointed as he pouted his thin lips and lowered his hands to his stomach. "Perché non vieni qui e mi permetti di guardarti [Why don't you come over here and let me look at you]?**"** I felt Alec shove my side, and I briskly walked up to the main leader of the most powerful coven in the vampiric race.

His crimson eyes investigated mine with ingrown curiosity, like he was making sure there were no dents in his new toy. It disgusted me. My jaw tensed as his hands reached for my cheek. I knew exactly what he was going to do. Read all my thoughts. Over a century's worth. His lukewarm fingers created a ripple effect throughout the rest of my body, and Aro grinned. _My, my, you are quite the feisty vampire, aren't you? A rebellious one as well. Your love for that human is certainly one that I find baffling. Yet, you seem to favor her blood above all others. How odd. _My eyes hardened. "MTi sei messo sulla difensiva, non è vero? Proprio non va bene. La tua reazione mi spinge a domandarmi se non dovrei far portare qui la tua 'Bella' . Il fatto che non ceda al potere di Jane mi affascina [Becoming defensive, are we? That will simply not do. Your reaction does make me wonder if I should have this 'Bella' brought here. Her inability to succumb to your or Jane's powers fascinates me]." I growled against his palm. He smiled. "Sì, questo è ciò che voglio. Possiedi una forza che si integrerebbe perfettamente qui a Volterra [Yes, that is what I am looking for. You have a strength about you that will be integral here in Volterra]."

"No," I mustered out. His smile wavered for only an instant. His fingers left my skin and he sighed.

"Ancora inadeguato [Defective, still]?" _Your wish for death saddens me. _"Non sarà possibile esaudire il tuo desiderio, temo. Sei troppo prezioso per sprecati. Mi sembra che tu abbia solo bisogno di un po' di persuasione. Felix [Your wish will not be granted, I'm afraid. You are too valuable to lose. It seems to me that you just need some persuasion. Felix]?"

A rather large man walked into the marble room. His build reminded me of Emmett. Carlisle informed me of him once before. He had the strength of a hundred newborns. His eyes were hungry as he stared me down.

This was going to be bad.

"Cosa vuoi che faccia, mio Signore [What will you have me do, my lord]?" His deep voice vibrated against my ears as he looked at Aro for direction.

"Per favore, offri ad Edward alcuni suggerimenti positivi sul perché si dovrebbe unire a voi [Please offer Edward some positive suggestions on why he should join you]."

"Con piacere [With pleasure]." Felix licked his lips as Aro backed away from me with a smirk on his pale face.

I saw his mammoth hands extend out to me, grabbing my waist and flinging me like a stick across the throne room. I groaned in pain as my side hit a pillar, cracking it on impact. The wind was knocked out of me as I struggled to get up. He was fast; getting to me before I could blink. His fingers gripped my arms and snapped them behind me, making my chest puff out as I cried out in pain. _You're fun to play with. If you keep this up, I'll enjoy breaking you!_

I growled and swiveled my leg behind his, knock him off balance. I slid through his grip and punched him in the jaw, smiling as he fell to the floor. Felix didn't stay down long, but I managed to get away in enough time to catch my breath.

"Trovo la tua insubordinazione frustrante [Your insubordination is frustrating to me]," Aro commented while Felix caught up to me, slamming his hand into my face and wrapping his other hand around my neck. The skin underneath him began to crack from the pressure, and I felt venom dripping down my chin. "Perché rifiutare un'offerta così meravigliosa? Se accettassi. la tua umana sarebbe sana e salva [Why turn down such a wonderful offer? Your human would be safe and sound if you agreed]." _Maybe she is the reason you refuse? I might have to remedy that._

"Don't…touch…her!" I choked as my airway was snapping apart. Felix's eyes widened in pride as he lifted my body upwards.

_Oh, how I want to rip that foul human apart!_ Jane's high-pitched voice rang in my head. I glared at her through the pain and hissed. _You heard that, didn't you? Good. I don't hide my repulsion for that creature. She deserves to die._

"Hm," Aro sighed softly."IMi sto stancando di questa farsa. Felix, lascialo andare [I grow bored of this charade. Felix, let him go]."

Felix grunted and released my neck, dropping me to the floor. I coughed as I held my neck, cringing in pain as the skin began to heal. Aro walked over to my shaking body, squatting and looking deeply in my eyes. His lanky black hair hung over his shoulder as he watched me gasp for needless air.

_Felix has failed in persuading you, I see. This will be quite the challenge. Let's see how you fair without blood. Perhaps starving will be motivation enough for you to change your mind,_ the sinister Volturi leader pondered while smiling at me. "Felix, portalo nelle segrete [Felix, take him down to the dungeons]."

Felix grinned while he picked me up into a bear hug-like hold. I fought against him, and felt searing shocks of pain in my head. Jane started to laugh while I cried out in Felix's strong arms. It was like a thousand needles were digging into my brain, tearing it apart. Felix snickered, holding me like a doll as we disappeared from the light, hauntingly warm throne room. I could hear small footsteps behind us. The pain subsided enough for me to look around, feeling winded while I was taken down cobblestone stairs and past dozens of empty cells. I could smell rotting flesh, as well as traces of what was once human blood.

"Spezzarti sarà un piacere per me [I'm going to have a delightful time breaking you down]," Felix hissed under his amused breath. His arms squeezed against my ribcage, cracking the stone-like bones within. I growled out in pain, unable to fight back properly. We neared a narrow hallway, and I recognized it as a torture chamber that Carlisle had explained to me. It was used to the higher defects of the Volturi. Aro instructed his guard members to use their abilities on the victims, one by one, repeatedly over unknown spans of time, in order to get out any information he wanted, or to simply enjoy watching the victim suffer.

So this would be my fate?

Felix changed positions, letting Jane ahead of us to open the door with a special, rusty key. She was grinning while Felix threw me into the room. It was pretty large, with chains along one wall, and a single light in the corner. There were no windows. I grazed against the stone flooring, hissing as I got to my feet. I tried to run to the door, but collapsed before I could break into a sprint. Jane chuckled like a wicked little girl as I grabbed my head in pain. I writhed on the floor, my cries echoing against the stone and their laughs of pleasure.

"Fino al nostro prossimo incontro, caro Edward [Until we meet again, dear Edward]," Jane cooed. _I hope you bathe in your own pathetic despair._ I felt the pain fade away, and watched with blurry eyes as the door sealed my confinement.

Having recovered from the dispute with Felix, I rushed to the stone blocks, smashing my body against them, trying to break free. Nothing budged. I tore at all corners and walls of the room, finding that the blocks must have been reinforced with something strong enough that vampires could not get through. I growled and hissed while trying to break down the solid door to no effect. My cries echoed around the dungeons, and I heard it vibrate against the cell walls, coming back to me in small whispers. I slumped against one of the walls, staring into the flickering flame in the centuries-old lantern.

How long would I have before Aro decided my disposal? I would never agree to his proposal. But would my refusal put Bella in my danger? I didn't believe Aro when he threatened her life. He didn't want a simple human. She would only be leverage for him to get what he wanted out of me. I would be stronger than that. My family would keep Bella safe for me.

I remained in that sullen position for an undisclosed amount of time. Until I heard footsteps approaching my room. The creaking sounds of the door opening caught my attention, and I saw Aro walk in with two females. One I recognized immediately as Renata, one of his more precious bodyguards. The other had wavy brown hair. _Just like Bella…_I shook my head at the disturbing thought. They were smiling at Aro's sides.

"Ciao, Edward, credo di averti concesso tempo a sufficienza per pensare alla mia offerta, non è vero [Hello, Edward. I think I have provided you with ample time to think about my offer, yes]?" he asked gingerly, pressing a finger at his temple. "Hai deciso di cambiare idea? Oppure devo convincerti ancora un po' [Have you decided to change your mind? Or do I need to convince you some more]?"

"You can torture me all you want. I will not become a part of your retched army,_" _I spat.

_What a shame. _"Se è ancora questo ciò che provi, temo che dovrai affrontarne le conseguenze [If you still feel that way, I'm afraid that you will have to deal with the consequences]." The mahogany-haired vampire took a step forward, grinning from ear to ear. I smelled sulfur and winced as she snapped her slender fingers. Suddenly, I heard a blast of sound as fire exploded all around me. As I flung myself across the room to escape the flames, I saw her face wrinkle up in excitement.

Heidi. Carlisle told me about her. She could create different masses of explosions. Aro's own personal bomb-maker. I sputtered out venom onto the ground as I got to my knees, watching as the flames crawled up the wall I was leaning against. My pants were singed badly, but I padded out the flames before they etched their way into my skin. There was another snap, and I flew through the air, hitting the wall with the chains and burning as fire encased my arms and hip. Burning cotton, flesh, and hair overwhelmed my senses.

Damnit! I groaned through clenched teeth, rolling on my side to put out the fire and get back at Heidi. She stood her ground with a smirk that I wanted to claw off her face. Aro was stoic as he watched the show, yet I saw his amusement in his burgundy eyes. I took off, ignoring the pain in my arms as I ran to Heidi. There was a sudden shift in my direction, and I felt myself hit the wall hard. When I turned around, I saw Renata snicker.

Damn, I forgot about her.

"Mi dispiace dirti che non hai via d'uscita, Edward. M addolora doverti fare questo, ma la tua testardaggine deve essere eliminata [I'm sorry to say that you have no way out, Edward. It does pain me to have to do this to you. But your stubbornness needs to be taken care of]."

Another explosion erupted at my feet, and I was slammed against the wall again as flames crawled up my chest. The smoke tasted like my skin, revolting me. I collapsed on all fours, wanting nothing more than to scream out my anger and take all three of them down. The loud bang from the explosion made my ears ache.

"Pensi che ne abbia avuto abbastanza, mio Signore [Do you think he has had enough, my lord]?" Heidi asked in a delicate voice.

"Detto da te, mio caro, direi di sì. Vai a cercare per me Marcus e Felix [From you, my dear, I believe he has. Go and fetch Marcus and Felix for me]."

"Sì, mio Signore [Yes, my lord]," Heidi replied before leaving. I wiped venom from my mouth and leaned backwards, staring at Aro with disdain. His expression was hollow, as was his mind. But I didn't need to hear his thoughts to know his plan. He wanted to draw out my pain.

As my skin crackled with the dying fire, I thought of Bella. Beautiful, innocent Bella. Making faces at Alice whenever she presented fashionable clothing to her. Her sweet lips as they brushed along mine. Her trembling hands when she spoke to Charlie about Jessica.

"Ci hai fatto chiamare [You summoned us]?" I heard the gentle voice of Marcus as he and Felix joined the others.

"Sì, l'ho fatto. Mi sentivo un po' egoista. So come giudichi la situazione e mi domandavo se non volessi essere incluso nel procedimento [Yes I did. I felt as though I was being selfish. I know your feelings towards this situation, and wondered if you would like to partake in the process]?" Aro smiled at his blond-haired co-leader. Marcus turned to me without any readable emotion on his face. Felix appeared from behind him, holding his massive arms at his chest to watch. I winced as I tried to move, slowly getting back on my feet. My shoes were partly melted, exposing a few of my toes through blackened cotton.

"Perché non Caio? Penso che preferirebbe essere qui al posto mio [What about Caius? I feel he would rather be the one down here instead of me]."

"Non preoccuparti di Caio. Verrà il suo turno. Ma è bene che anche tu ti diverta. È passato molto tempo, nevvero [Do not worry about Caius. He will have his turn. But you have yet to enjoy yourself. It has been a long while, hasn't it]?" Aro's tone was somewhat apologetic. I remembered how he had disposed of his sister, whom happened to be Marcus's wife and mate long ago. Was he still trying to make up for that? I understood Marcus's ghostly nature. If I had to live forever without Bella, I would be but a shell myself. At least she was still alive.

Marcus's gaze fell from my face to my torso, and I pursed my lips when I felt my skin splitting along my abdomen. A slim smile appeared on his stoic face while he watched me grab at my stomach, holding myself as my skin and muscle shredded apart. My knees buckled and I collapsed on the ground, thrashing about as the pain seared into my mind. The ripping made its way upwards, over my chest. My ribs cracked one by one as they popped out of my chest, spewing venom over my already-tattered shirt. I involuntarily arched myself upwards, losing myself in the anguish that Marcus was relishing in. Then, it suddenly stopped. I dry heaved and fell down.

"Deve essere stato piacevole [That must have felt refreshing]," I heard Aro comment. "Felix, per cortesia, puoi aiutare Edward a guarire [Felix, would you please help Edward with his healing]?"

I gasped, shaking violently against the floor as I saw Felix's boots come towards me. He pushed me against the floor with his knee and grinned hungrily; taking hold of my rib bones and bending them back into my chest. I screamed. The noises rang in my ears, and his cool breath coated my nose with the aroma of human blood. He had fed recently.

_You are too easy. _Snap. _I want you to break slowly._ Snap._ Very slowly. _Snap. _Yes, like that. _Snap. _Your screaming brings a smile to my face. _Snap._ This will take some time. _Snap._ Perfection. _Snap. _I hope Aro lets me play with you more often._ Snap._ It's been a while since I've had a playmate._ Snap._ You don't look so good. _Snap._ It's already been a while since you've fed? _Snap. _I can tell. _Snap. _My breath must really bother you. _He took a deep breath and exhaled over my face with a grin. _She was delicious, let me assure you. _Snap. _Not more than eighteen years old. _Snap. _Her blood was filled with purity, and tasted like sugarcane._ Snap. _Your voice is becoming hoarse. _Snap. _I don't like that. I want your screams to be so loud that the entire castle can hear them. _Snap. _So everyone knows your betrayal._ Snap. _So everyone knows your punishment is swift. _Snap. _Too bad your human is so far away, I'd love for her to hear your screams. _Snap. _So she knows she is the reason behind your punishment._ Snap. _Then I could return the favor to her. _Snap. _I bet her blood tastes sweeter than sugar. _Snap. _Maybe honey? Or more like a fine wine? _Snap.

My mind was overrun with Felix's words. He let me go and returned to Aro's side, looking satisfied.

How could he speak of Bella like that? I coughed more venom out as I lay helpless on the ground. I heard footsteps growing distant and I forced my head to turn to Aro.

"Usa il tempo per capire bene dove riponi la tua lealtà, Edward [Take this time to figure out where your loyalties truly lie, Edward]," Aro said before leaving me alone again.

Alone.

That was a concept I once thrived upon. I took solace in knowing I was by myself. I had little attachment to anyone, outside of my family.

Bella…

I sputtered out more venom while I dragged myself across the room, slowly folding my knees upwards and staring down at my exposed chest. Blankly, my eyes watched the muscle fibers spindle around each other once more and my skin rejuvenate itself. I pulled off what were left of my shoes, tossing them as far away from me as possible. I think they hit the stone underneath the lantern, but I did not care.

What happened to me was only the beginning. Aro made an example of me. For me. He essentially told me that if I thought I would survive my time in this cell, I was going to be proven very wrong. And I had no way of killing myself. I was stuck here.

Strength.

Bella said to me once that I had an exuberant amount of strength. In my heart. Since I was able to resist biting her, she explained that it meant I was stronger than I believed I was.

I had to be strong for Bella. For my family. For me. I wasn't going to back down to Aro's threats. Beat me, rip me apart, burn me, and toss me like a toy. Do what you will, but I will not relent. For Bella's sake, I would stay strong.

The worst part of being locked up was that time passed by and I lost it. There was no way for me to figure out what day it was, what week it was. Restlessness became common, and I found myself pacing around the cell for what felt like days at a time, when I wasn't being beaten or burned, thinking only of Bella and how much I missed her. What was she doing? Probably going to school and laughing with her friends. I had hoped that Jessica's funeral wouldn't be too hard on her. She had Mike and the others to stand by her. Alice and the rest of my family would watch over her.

Not feeding for a long period of time weakens a vampire's body. We don't die or become ravenous, like one would expect. Instead, we grow extremely weak. Carlisle told me how he tried to commit suicide through starvation, and discovered that it didn't work. After the span of a few weeks, our bodies become limber; unusable. Our minds shut down somewhat, working on minimal energy. At worst, we can fall into a coma-like state. But we don't die. And the closest thing to a living being will cause our bloodlust to flare to unimaginable levels. I could feel my body becoming drained. It was my only way of tracking time.

It came to a point where I didn't move around much. My thoughts only consisted of Bella. Her captivating eyes. Her warm, soft skin next to mine. The way her kisses melted my entire being. Her melodic voice as she told me she loved me.

A routine formed when it came to my torture. Caius appeared to me only a handful of times. He would burn me on those occasions, but would grow bored quickly. Felix was a regular visitor, taking his time in creating fresh wounds all along my body, trying out different methods. He dismembered me countless times, reveling in my screams. But I never begged. It bothered him. When I could not scream any more, he would think horrendous things to upset me further. Ways he would like to mangle my beautiful Bella. Drink her blood, crush her bones to dust, split her skull…the graphic nature of them haunted me when I was alone. In the beginning, when I was stronger, Demitri would join him and the two of them would tackle me. Demitri would also think disturbing thoughts, more on a sexual level, about what he would like to do to Bella. He was faster than I, and it was difficult for me as my energy waned to block out their thoughts.

Demitri especially loved torturing me with thoughts. I could hear him from beyond the door, and he made it a habit of visiting me that way, just thinking of how Bella may taste as he held her underneath him, shredding at her clothes and taking her for himself. All the different positions he would like to use in order to violate her. He would describe and show to me in detail how sweet her moans would be before he would snap her neck, sucking out her blood and throwing away her shattered body like garbage.

_I'd make her cry out your name while I ripped away her clothing. I'd take my precious time in tasting every inch of her warm skin. She would beg for you as I forced her to endure me as I took her purity as my own. I'd bite her halfway through, letting her feel the burn of the change as I would relieve myself. Her screams would heighten like a crescendo. I would bathe in her warm, pulsating blood, lapping it up carefully so I do not miss a single drop. Then, I would have the pleasure of crushing every single bone in her body, laughing as she begs for you with her final breath. Her skin would become cold, unappealing, and finally useless. At last, she would be disposed of thoroughly. Should I throw her into a river? Or maybe I could cremate her with flames? What do you think, Edward? What would be more entertaining?_

Occasionally Jane would come to me, watching me as I withdrew into myself with amusement. If I was too quiet, she would cause me to scream. She was insatiable to my sounds. I believe it fed her as much as blood. She would run her fingers along my filthy skin, kissing me at my cheek and forehead before she would leave, licking her lips and blowing me a kiss every time. I was horrified when I was able to think clearly enough, questioning how it was possible for anyone to be so cruel. How Carlisle would withstand this lifestyle for as long as he had.

_You know she doesn't really love you,_ Felix told me in his thoughts at one point as he bashed me against the back wall. _She was just taken in by your charms. She's probably forgotten all about you by now. _I was too weak to fight the punches. I just took them. I had become his punching bag. And a part of me welcomed it. _I bet she has a new lover, too. _

I mulled around the name Jacob Black while Felix dislodged my jaw. He most likely came to her side after the funeral. He most likely helped her heal. He could hold her and not make her freeze. She could listen to his heart beat while he held her. They could grow old together. Have children. Have a life.

"Hope…so…" I whimpered through pain when Felix picked me up by my throat and I plummeted to the floor.

I didn't move as he left. _Pathetic._

I stared at the ceiling, wishing that unconsciousness was possible. Anything to rid myself of the jumbled, blurry emotions and feelings that swam inside my mind.

Aro came to me some time later with another male guard member I had yet to meet. My body was as still as Felix left it.

"Ti rifiuti ancora, Edward? Mi rattrista vederti così debole [Are you still refuting, Edward? It saddens me to see you so weak]." Aro was playing nice. It was despicable. My mind had grown weaker, so I was unable to fully concentrate on his or his companion's thoughts. Instead, I shook my head from side to side. "Devo ammettere di essere impressionato dalla tua determinazione. Peccato che la usi per fini sbagliati. Afton, se non ti spiace [I have to admit that your resolve is impressive. Too bad you are using it for the wrong side. Afton, if you please]." I saw pale blond hair drape over my face as the guard leaned over me, picking up my body and carrying me like a child to the wall with the chains. I remotely felt cool steel wrap around my wrists, but I stared blankly into the bright eyes of Afton as he secured me. Aro walked over, reaching down and lifting my chin up with his hand. "Voi morire, non è vero? Ogni pensiero che hai è posseduto dalla tua umana. Mi addolora constatare come la tua lealtà non sia più diretta verso la tua specie. Mi domando come Carlisle ti abbia allevato [You beg for death, don't you? All your thoughts are consumed by your human. It truly hurts me to know that your loyalty is not with your own kind anymore. It makes me wonder what Carlisle has raised]." His skin was sickeningly warm as I felt the fingers trail along my jawline, resting at my cheek. He drew close enough that I could feel his breath. I growled as I smelled human blood in the air. My eyes widened as I caught sight of Afton holding a human girl at his side.

Her hair was long, curly, and dark brown. It matched her eyes. She looked frightened and her whimpers etched their way into my mind, crying out to my throat. I felt my thirst burning along my esophagus when my gaze rested on her neck. I watched the artery pulsate rapidly as her heartbeat raced. Her hands were frantically clawing at Afton while she struggled against him. The look in her eyes reminded me of…

She looked eerily similar to Bella.

Aro cleared his throat, moving my face to look at him. "Ho scelto questa donna per te. Ho pensato che sarebbe stato gentile da parte mia trovarne uno che somigliava alla tua amata umana [I chose this woman just for you. I felt it would be kind of me to find one who looked like your cherished human]." He smiled, and I knew from the twitching of his bottom lip that he was lying. This wasn't a gift. It was the ultimate torture. "Se finalmente decidi di cambiare idea, ora, sono disposto a perdonare e dimenticare. Avrai il tuo primo pasto in un mese e ti avrò ripulito e al mio fianco in pochissimo tempo. Potrai anche andare subito a caccia, perché dubito che lei ti basti [If you decide to change your mind right now, I am willing to forgive and forget. You will have your first meal in more than a month. I'll have you cleaned up and at my side in no time. You can even go hunt for more since I doubt she is enough]."Her cries for help hurt me, but her blood seemed to call…

_"You could do it right here, right now, Edward, I'm willing."_

Bella?

No. It wasn't the same.

It smelled like iron, pork, and alcohol. Not strawberries. She wasn't my Bella.

Bella wanted me strong.

The thirst was eating away at my throat. My mouth hung open and my fangs grew forth as I lunged forward, against my new restraints. A low hiss echoed around us. It was unrecognizable. And it was coming from my own mouth. The monster in me was winning the struggle.

Warm…refreshing…thick…smooth…

"_You're not a monster, Edward."_

I blinked, frozen in my movements. The chains' clanking receded and I stared at Aro with a blank expression. Venom dripped onto my chest from my fangs.

"Mmh, interessante. Ancora ti rifiuti, malgrado il digiuno. Mi sembra che dovrò ripensare alla strategia da adottare con the [Hmm, interesting. You still refuse, even through your starvation. Seems to me that I will have to rethink my strategy with you]," Aro sighed and turned to Afton. "SElimina la ragazza per me, Afton. Ne ho abbastanza di guardarla [Dispose of this girl for me, Afton. I'm sick of looking at her]." I continued to stare as Afton nodded, grabbing the girl's neck and biting into her. Her delicious-looking, crimson blood flowed down her tanned skin and spilled onto the floor as she writhed in his arms.

The weight of my eyes became irritating, so I closed them while the human girl gasped her last breaths. Aro mumbled something I cared not to listen to, and left the room with Afton and the human's corpse in tow.

More time passed. It went by slower than before. Probably because my weakening mind couldn't comprehend much of what was happening. I was left to figuratively rot at this point. No one came to visit. No one came to contemplate horrendous thoughts. Jane didn't come to playfully seduce me while my brain would feel like it was melting under my reinforced skull. Perhaps I had been forgotten. I would spend the rest of my existence in this cell, wondering about…

About what?

It's dark. Cold. It smells like mildew and very old blood. It barely rouses me anymore.

My sight is blurry. It's too tiring to look around. I can't think straight anymore. Nothing exists in there. My body is being held by the chains. Like strings of a puppet. I thank them silently for keeping me up.

Sleepy. So sleepy. Alone, and sleepy.

"_If I could dream at all, it would be about you and I'm not ashamed of it."_

When did I say that?

Mmm. I'm hallucinating. The coma must be coming.

Something moved. I didn't. Slow, light footsteps. Cautious? That's strange. Ha. I'm strange. I want to sleep. I can't sleep.

The feet are closer. Could it be Jane? Maybe she'd finally have her way with me. Sickening girl. I hung my head low. She didn't need to see my face. The door was opening. Someone was coming to visit. I flinched.

_Edward?_

What was that? The voice was so meek. Muffled. Scared. Foreign. I lifted my head to see my visitor, and saw someone unrecognizable. She looked so…worried? Maybe she's the angel of death, finally here to take me away from this world. Or perhaps another guard member who was fooling with me.

She came closer. I twitched on instinct. _Edward, it's me, Bella._

Who?

Her thin body was approaching. Air passed through the door, moving along her. I recognized the delectable smell immediately.

Human. Human. Human. HUMAN. BLOOD.

Venom flowed into my mouth when I breathed in her fragrance. It was familiar. My body wouldn't move. I was so weak.

_Oh God, Edward, what have they been doing to you? _She dropped to her knees in front of me. Too close. TOO CLOSE.

I pressed myself against the stone; looking at her while she contemplated touching me. No. NO. I froze when I saw her fingers reaching out to my face. I'd break. I'd bite. I'd do something. Her heartbeat was unstable, and I saw shimmering liquid roll down her cheeks.

Who was she?

_It's alright; "_I'm not going to hurt you." Her voice became clearer, pushing its way through the webs surrounding my brain. I stared into her brown eyes, scared yet hungry. They sparked something inside my aching chest. Familiar. Her fingers were hot as they touched along my cheek. I whimpered very softly to myself at the contact. It wasn't painful. It was…loving?

Loving? What was that?

My eyes widened as I lost myself in her chocolate gaze. Chocolate. I used that reference before. But where?

Her free hand tugged at her shirt, moving it downwards. My eyes fell to the pale, but colored skin that she had exposed surrounding her collar bone. I saw the skin throbbing from the movement of her blood. A part of me wanting nothing more than to rip her apart. Another was telling me not to. To push her away. Why would I want to do that?

"It's okay. You need this to survive. Please, Edward, take it." Her heartbeat sang to me as she thrust her upper body towards my face. I growled. Without pause, I latched onto her skin with my cracked lips, causing my entire form to tingle. When my teeth penetrated her breakable skin, I growled again.

The sweet, intoxicating liquid ran down my tongue, my throat, my chest. It tasted like liquid heaven. Like the sweetest frosting on a newly-baked cake. Like fresh strawberries after being picked. Like the first glass of squeezed lemonade in the summer. And I couldn't get enough. Her hands grabbed onto my arms, but I barely felt it as I pressed myself harder against her fragile body. She was screaming now; the sound enveloping me as I drank her. Within seconds, I could feel my body coming back to life. One quick thrust and my arms broke free from their binding to the wall. My nostrils filled with the smoke that surrounded me and this delicious creature. My hands rested at her lower back, keeping her close to me while I fed. I felt her arms wrap around my neck, holding onto me tightly through her cries.

Then, the pleasure subsided. It was replaced by intense emotion and pain.

Saddness. Incredible sadness. Lonliness. Abandonment. Starvation. Tears. Sweat. Screams in the night. Void. Longing. Love. It was overpowering me as I glanced up at the human again, realizing with panic who it was. I instantly pushed her away from me, watching her fall onto the floor in a seizure-like state.

"Bella?"

She looked at me with love in her eyes, forcing a smile. Her blood was covering my face. Her blood. _Her_ blood. No. No. No! "Oh, no! What have I done! Bella!" I fell to her, looking at my disgusting bite wound as she convulsed beneath me. My venom had invaded her, and was on its course to kill her. Why did she offer herself to me like that? Why was she here? I have to save her! I grabbed her body and pressed my mouth over the wound, biting back into her; careful to not drink in more of her blood. The venom was fighting me back, and it was hard to fight against the frenzy that begged me to continue.

After what felt like endless minutes, the venom began to come out, filtering past the fresh blood in my system. When I tasted her clean blood, I felt the fire burn in my throat again. Finish her! Finish it! There's so much delicious blood left! No! This is Bella! I can't. I groaned against my strengthening instincts and used my venom to seal the wound shut. Bella had stopped crying by now, only whimpering with exhaustion. I lowered her down and buried my head in her hair, smelling her truly for the first time in forever. "I didn't think I could do it…but I did somehow…" I was shocked at my control. Maybe Carlisle had been right from the beginning. Perhaps I was much stronger than I realized. "I got out the venom before it could infect you…sealed the wound…oh Bella…" I sobbed into her, holding her tightly. She began to sob, and I felt her tears stream down my shoulder. My fingers wove through her hair, slowly pulling her face to see mine. I had to see for myself that she wasn't a hallucination. "I thought I'd never see you again." Her eyes were glazed over from her tears, and were just as beautiful as the first time I met them. "But you're really here, aren't you?" My voice was cracking. I watched he tears roll down from her eyes, and my fingers wiped them away.

"I'm really here," she whispered with a small smile on her darling face. It was contagious, making me smile back at her.

"Listen to your heart fly. It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you alright, Love?" I missed calling her that. Her sudden lunge into me surprised me, as well as the passion that sprung from her lips as she kissed me hard. I felt her hands tangle themselves in my matted hair as my own pressed her against me. My body was yearning for her heat. Her everything. I felt her fingers entice my skin as they fell from my head to my chest. I felt her past the remains of my decrepit shirt. A moan traveled between us, and I realized it came from her as she ripped off the shredded fabric.

My hands ran along the soft cotton of her shirt at her back, slipping past it and feeling the warmth of her skin. It shivered at my touch, and I was electrified by the contrasting stimulation. We both whimpered when she drew back, breathing hard with need for oxygen. I glimpsed at her eyes as they darkened with lust. Her tender lips peppered soft kisses along my jawline, and I felt my entire being trembling with need. With want. When her lips boldly touched underneath my earlobe, my fingers lightly dug at her skin.

Her voice was husky as she whispered, "I've missed you so much." Oh, Lord. Her tone was pleading. She wanted this as much as me!

"Bella…" I gasped. "You are making me insane." I hoped she would understand what I meant. I clung to what little resistance was left in me. I wanted to tear away the thin fabrics that separated her from me. I wanted to make her mine. She wanted it, too. I was being consumed by Bella. I wanted to burn in her fire. Her kisses left a hot trail along my icy skin as she lowered her face to my upper chest.

"I was so lost without you. I don't want to be alone anymore." Her voice was shocking my system. My fingers ran up to her back and easily snapped apart the hooked contraption of her bra. I watched her face as it looked at me with pure lust. Her heart was humming again, and her breaths were short and quick. I felt conflicted. This is all that I wanted. But not here. Not in this cell. Not when I haven't cleaned myself in goodness knows how long. I wanted our first time to be magical. Not when I was being controlled by my blood-fueled instincts. Bella's gentle fingers ran over my jaw, wiping away the traces of her sweet blood from my skin. I was going to lose this battle.

"You are my life, Bella," I sighed while moving away some of her sweat-drenched hair so I could see her face more clearly. My other hand held her face, afraid to let her go. "Tell me what you want, and you can have it." Her hands clasped at my hair as her eyes flickered with uncontrollable want. My nostrils flare when a new scent mixed with her. Arousal. All resistance dissipated. I already lost.

"Just you," she murmured before colliding her lips with mine with such sudden force, I was startled and fell backwards. My back smashed into the remaining stone blocks behind us. But I felt no pain. All I felt was Bella. I wanted to rip away her clothes, but she broke away from me before I could. She teasingly lifted up her shirt, blushing wildly at her bold exposure. I smiled hungrily while she threw away the cloth, before proceeding to do the same with her jeans. The more skin of hers I saw, the more I wanted her.

My body was infused with hers. Her blood ran through me, revitalizing me. If I did have a soul, she energized it. I fumbled while I removed what was left of my own clothing, finally pressing all of myself against her. Her skin was so smooth; it relaxed me as I held onto her. I knew that she was experienced. I was not. But that didn't stop me. I wasn't a vampire. I wasn't a monster in these moments. Just a man in love. With the most precious woman that ever graced this earth.

I welcomed her into my heart, soul, and body. No longer was I in hell. I was in heaven.

With my angel.


	6. Requesting Permission

**Author's Note:** This was a fun section to write! I'm pleased that it is more uplifting than the previous section. Charlie is a lot of fun to write as. I feel he doesn't get enough spotlight in the Twilight series. This section is back-to-back with chapter 43 of _Starlight Vows_. Now you'll know what both Edward and Charlie were really thinking about breaking the news about the engagement and wedding! I hope you all are excited, because the next section will be the wedding! I'm pumped to write it in Edward's eyes. Enjoy, and please leave me reviews! I love your feedback.

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><p><em>She sounded much better on the phone yesterday. Maybe that trip did her good.<em>

I smiled. Charlie Swan was in a better mood than I had assumed. My reassurances on the drive to the house didn't calm Bella down at all. She was fumbling her fingers around each other in a daze when we pulled up. Alice already informed us that Charlie would accept the engagement. She told me in private that he was going to be very upset at first. I kept that detail secret, not wanting to create more anxiety for Bella. I held her hand tightly while we walked up to the porch. Charlie's heart was frantic. He was nervous.

Bella neglected to let him know I would be with her.

_Did she eat when she was there? Carlisle said he'd take care of her. I want my Bells back._

"He's excited to see you," I whispered beside Bella as she hesitated to touch the doorknob. "He hopes that your attitude changed since last time you were home." I frowned slightly, remembering what the others had shown me of Bella's state while I was gone.

"Great. Maybe since he's in a good mood he _won't_ massacre us," she spat with a grudge. Her little tantrum was adorable, making me want to laugh. I held it in, squeezing her hand. As the gears within the door turned from her key, I heard Charlie gasp and get to his feet.

"Bella?" _She's early!_ I heard his chair creak quietly. He had sat back down. _Need to look normal._

When we entered the house, I saw his eyes grow in wonder as he looked over Bella. Then they rested on me, and I mentally braced myself. _What is he doing here? _"Oh, hello, Edward."_ Don't tell me she took him back! Wait, he probably just felt bad and drove her here. No need to panic. _

"Good morning, Chief Swan." I spoke with poise and without any sourness. I knew his thoughts were going to be very negative towards me. Rightfully so. Regardless of the story he knew, I had abandoned Bella when she needed me most. Charlie stood up to approach us, and I could feel his cool stare on me.

"How was your trip?" _She seems happier. I'll need to call Billy and let him know. _

"Lots of museums. Lots of food. Lots of Alice shopping and parading me around like a doll in new clothes. You know, the usual." Bella's response pleased Charlie, making him smile. He looked younger. The stress over Bella must have aged him emotionally. A pang of guilt struck me.

_Just like her old self! Lots of food, eh? She does look like she gained some of that weight back. _An image of her thinner body appeared in my head, and I almost faltered in my innocent expression.

"You look…better. Like you've been eating." I heard the relief in the middle-aged man's voice as he sighed. I smiled when I saw the two of them blushing from the strange compliment. _Carlisle did a good job with the food thing. Gotta thank him._

"We took very good care of her. I think the scenery snapped her back into normalcy."

That was robust of me. I regretted opening my mouth the moment Charlie shot his eyes at me. They seemed blank, as if in shock. I knew better. His mind certainly wasn't blank.

_We? Are you kiddin, kid? You're the reason she was so fucked up in the first place!_ I was amazed at his foul language. I never knew Charlie Swan as a curser. Surprises ran in the family, apparently. _You have no fucking right!_ _I could blow your damn head off right now!_ "So…what's the deal here?" _I don't even want to know._ His hand circled between the two of us. I gently nudged Bella's side, sensing her tension and wanting her to be the one to explain. The daggers shooting from her father's eyes made me actually frightened of him.

"We…ah…got back together, Dad," Bella stuttered slowly. I watched the wheels turn in Charlie's head.

_I knew it. The bastard got her to fall right back in love with him. How could she do that when he left her like that? I'll never understand kids these days! _He snorted unhappily. "Hmm. That's good, I guess." Cue my apology.

"I wanted to apologize for my actions; for leaving Bella when she needed me most. I will regret that every day for the rest of my life. I don't understand what made me do that to her, but I came to my senses when I saw what it did to her in Italy. It ripped me apart inside seeing the pain in her eyes."

_I don't understand it, either, Kid. She needed you the most when her best friend was killed. And you up and leave her like that? I should arrest you for reckless endangerment. She was left dead inside because of you! I hope it did hurt to see her like that. I hope it broke that fucking heart of yours. You only got a taste of what you caused. I lived it. _"Mhm…" He was completely lost in his thoughts. To be honest, so was I. Both of us knew I deserved it. "Well, I can't deny how much better you look, Bells." _She does seem much healthier. Relaxed. Cullen's sure good at charming a girl's heart._

Bella's throat vibrated as she gulped. I joined in her nervousness. The next bit of news was definitely going to be hard to get out.

"There's something else, Dad." I saw Charlie's eyes widen when Bella broke away from us, walking nervously into the living room. We followed.

"What is it? Something _else_ happen in Italy that I should know about?" _She better not be. No way in hell. I'll kill the son of a bitch! _Charlie's thoughts raced a marathon in a minute, making me purse my lips to keep quiet.

"Dad…Edward and I…um…" Bella's stuttering only fueled the audacious things Charlie assumed. His face grew long. The throbbing of his heart against his chest was distracting.

_If she says she's knocked up, I'll grab that gun so fast; Cullen won't know what hit him! I'll shoot his ass then throw him in jail!_ He took a deep breath._ Wait, Swan. Calm down. You need to let her talk before you lose it. _"You're not _pregnant_, are you?" I watched his eyes peer behind me, looking at his gun. I inhaled slowly through my nose, fighting to keep my composure. Poor Bella was going to pass out, I feared. Her hands were frantic as she threw them up into the air, shaking them as well as her head.

"NO! No, Dad. It's nothing like that!" At that moment, Charlie's eyes met mine.

_She better not be lying to save your ass, boy. I'll find out, and you can bet that I'll make you regret it. _I frowned. He was taking this all wrong, and it was ultimately my own fault. I should not have put Bella through all this. His gaze broke and he sighed deeply. _Calm down, old man. I need to sit…_"Oh. Alright. That's good." He walked back to his chair and slumped into it, watching us closely. "What is it, then?" _That's my worst nightmare. What else could there possibly be? Unless…she doesn't have some strange infection, does she? _His eyes narrowed. The guilt I was feeling was pooling over, making me frown further. I had to speak up.

"This is really my fault," I started. I glanced at Bella, seeing her eyes glaze over with fear and uncertainty. It pierced me. "I wanted to do this right."

"Do…what…exactly?" Charlie's voice was laced with caution. Skepticism. _What is your fault? Did you get my Bells sick? She's lying about pregnancy, isn't she? _ I took a deep breath, flexing my fingers at my sides. Bella's pounding heart was creating a rhythm inside of me, calming me some. I looked deeply into his eyes, holding my gaze as stern as I could.

"Chief Swan, would you please allow me to marry your daughter?" I expected the reactions that both Bella and Charlie gave me. Bella was in utter shock, dropping her jaw so wide that I could have swung a baseball into it. Charlie's fingers grasped at his chair as he gawked at me with horror written all over his face. He looked between the two of us, before lowering and noticing the beautiful engagement ring I gave to Bella. My un-beating heart swelled knowing that she wore it.

_What? WHAT? You've gotta be kidding me! _Bella hid her hand behind her back, flustered. I smiled slightly at the blush that came over her face. "You…want me to..._what_?" Was my question that absurd? I knew it may have seemed a little strange in this day in age. But, I was a gentleman.

"I asked for Bella's hand. She said yes, which is much more than I'll ever deserve. But I wanted your approval as well. You're the most important person in her life, and I would like your blessing." I answered as calmly as I could while Charlie burned holes through my head, and quite possibly into the wall behind me. I felt worse when Charlie's enflamed eyes fell on Bella for a long time.

_This can't be happening! Bella hates the idea of marriage! She's too young! No. I won't agree to this. This guy is using her for his own jollies. He's gotta be. Why else would he string her along, break her heart, and then swoop her back? He's a real piece of work. Why did I let her travel? I should've known when I heard he was coming. Damnit. How do I say no? Bells is back to normal! I can't lose her again!_

"You want to get married, Bells?" His voice was soft. Treading.

"Yes, Dad. I do."

_He's got her wrapped around his rich little finger, doesn't he?_ Charlie jumped to his feet and raced towards me. Bella gasped as I let him stare at me. His hot breath made my nose twitch as he mulled over what to say to me in his thoughts. "You broke Bella's heart." I flinched. An image of her in a fetal position on her bed appeared from his mind. Her unkempt hair strewed over her tear-soaked face. Her hands were grasping the locket I had purchased her. Screaming out my name in the dark, as if stuck in a looping nightmare while her sweat-drenched body clung to itself.

The image flickered to a bunch of flashes. Bella refusing a burger that Charlie picked up for her on his way back from work. Bella ignoring any phone calls from Angela or Alice. Bella staring out her bedroom window mute and thin. Bella crying for hours on end. Bella calling out my name and Jessica's while dreaming. The images were too painful. I blinked them away and flexed my hands. "It was like you killed her when you left. She was an empty shell. For weeks I had to watch her fall apart. Become a zombie. I was never more scared in my life. Scared that I was going to lose her." More images appeared of my Bella, losing the color in her face. Wearing the same clothes for days. Becoming too weak to stand in the shower. Losing all interest in her books. In her friends. In her life. "And then you appear, woo her into taking you back, and expect me to accept this?" He turned to Bella, glaring at her, enraged. "_Both_ of you expect me to be okay with this?" _How on earth did this jackass convince her to do this?_

"Dad, I know this all sounds crazy right now, but this is really important to us."

"I love your daughter. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and – by some miracle – she loves me that way, too." My own voice sounded as pleading as Bella's. I didn't want him staring at her with the rage he had for me. "I know this is unorthodox. I would have asked you first, but I was so overcome with emotion when we reunited, I didn't want to wait. Please give us your blessing. It would break Bella's heart more if you don't accept."

_How can you say you love her, when you left her like you did? _Charlie was staring into my eyes, desperately searching for answers. I hoped the sincerity in my voice helped. _You ignored her for months. You killed her inside. How could she forgive you so easily? How could a couple weeks in Italy cover up all the pain? This isn't fair! She doesn't deserve all this drama. Dealing with Jacob after she punched him was bad enough. She attracts the worst sorts. What am I going to do? I can't just forgive and forget. Bells will always be my girl. But I know she loves him. She's no kid anymore. Damnit. _He shrugged, rubbing the back of his head with his hand and moved away. "You're not a kid, anymore," he said while glancing at Bella with saddened eyes. "You can make your own decisions. As your father, I'll support them." _Even if I thoroughly disagree with them._

I was baffled when Bella embraced him in a tight hug. She thanked him while he returned the affection, holding her closely for a few seconds. But their hearts both began to pound, and I saw the familiar uncertainty in their eyes as they broke free; both awkward of the public display. My eyes met with Bella's briefly, and I flashed a smile to reassure her that it was going to be alright.

"Just remember one thing, Cullen," Charlie turned back to me, holding up his hand and pointed out to the entryway. I knew what he was insinuating. "If you _ever_ hurt Bella again. I'll arrest you so fast you'll beg for the death penalty." _Don't test me, boy. _

Charlie was devoted to Bella in his heart. I respected that. More than he would know. "Yes, Sir," I replied simply. Bella suddenly broke out in a laugh, startling Charlie and me.

"I need a beer," Charlie grumbled. _Or fifty. Barrels. _He walked out into the kitchen, giving me an opportunity to touch Bella for the first time since we arrived. Her waist was shivering when I pulled it close to me. _God, what am I supposed to do now? Play happy daddy? Christ. This is like a nightmare! I expected Bella to come back a little better, at least. Not engaged to the guy who caused her to break!_

"He's infuriated, but he'll be fine," I whispered at Bella's ear, trying my best to sound calm.

_…thinks he's getting a free pass into my house, he's crazy. I'll kick his ass if I see even one frown on Bella's face! _Charlie's thoughts grew louder as he returned with a bottle of cold beer. He sighed as he slumped back into his chair. "Out of curiosity, how long were you planning on waiting until the ceremony? After college I assume?" _At least Bella's sensible enough to wait for a few years. _If I were human, I imagine my stomach would have knotted up at Charlie's question. Alice had shown me her vision of the wedding. I didn't tell Bella about it, yet.

"Three weeks," I replied. Bella stared at me in disbelief as alcohol flew out of Charlie's mouth. The smell of fermented wheat made my nose wrinkle. Charlie coughed.

"WHAT?" they both exclaimed. The scene reminded me of a sitcom that Jasper and Alice would watch on television. Too bad this was real life.

"My mother is already beginning to plan the wedding with Alice. I didn't have the heart to tell them no." It was the partial truth. Esme and Alice were plotting away at home right this minute, ordering floral decorations and food. My sister's vision was quite clear on the timing. It was a bit rash, but with the plausible danger of the Volturi on our heels, we couldn't wait any longer than that. Though, it made my heart heavy. Three weeks left with Bella alive. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I ignored Charlie's.

"What about finishing college?" Charlie inquired, wiping his face and growling lowly. Bella didn't catch it, but I did. _She's got to be pregnant if they're planning a shotgun wedding! This isn't right._ He was nervous about her future.

"We can still finish. That wouldn't be a problem at all." I didn't see why our wedding would impede on Bella's education. Charlie didn't know that with our new life, she could pursue numerous degrees if she desired so.

"Where would you live?"

Ah. Another secret I had kept from Bella. No doubt she was going to be very upset with me. I was not going to lie to Charlie, though. Carlisle and Esme would be disappointed that it would not be a surprise. "We haven't discussed that far ahead yet, but my parents offered us a small cottage near our home. They were looking to purchase it as a vacation house, and instead offered it to me as a wedding present." The cottage was furnished and very nice; perfect for Bella and me. Apparently they purchased it the day after I ran off. Alice, in her "infinite" wisdom, decided that it would be a smart idea. She knew long before any of us that Bella would be joining our family.

There was a daunting silence amongst the three of us as my words settled into both Bella and Charlie's heads. Bella was flabbergasted. I knew how she hated surprises. And the charity of my family. But I knew that she would love our home. I couldn't wait to fill it with memories.

Charlie's eyes flickered with anger. It was boiling inside of him. _How did this happen? She was a little girl not long ago. Now she's engaged…getting married…getting a home…this is too much for me. Why would Carlisle keep this house a secret from me? When was this planned? What will the townsfolk think? I don't want Bells harassed. _"Is this what you want?" He gazed into his beautiful daughter's eyes thoughtfully. I felt her body tense as she coughed.

"Yes, Dad. It is." Charlie furrowed his brow as he turned to me again.

_Dr. Cullen has some explaining to do. _"I'd like to talk to Mr. Cullen about all of this." _I need to know every detail of the Italy trip. How much alone time these two spent. _I smiled.

"Of course. I'm sure he'd love to speak with you." Carlisle was the best at smoothing situations. His conversations with the wolves demonstrated that. It amused me that Charlie was more worried about our time in Italy. That his worst fear was Bella becoming pregnant. It would never be possible between us. It also guilted me more, knowing that Carlisle would have to talk about false memories and construct a story about how we reunited.

"My Bells is getting _married_…in three _weeks_…" He scratched his head. _I can't believe I'm doing this. _"Fine. Consider yourself blessed." _I'll be keeping my eyes on you, Cullen. _

I felt Bella become rigid, and I glanced to see her face draining of blood. "Bella? Are you alright?" I instantly became worried. I hated not hearing her thoughts.

"Uhm…yeah. Peachy. Just surprised." She shook herself free from me and walked over to her father, resting a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, and I felt a connection between them that relieved me. They understood each other perfectly. "Thanks, Dad." Charlie hesitated for a second.

_My Bells is so grown up. I have to trust her._ He pulled her into a sweet embrace. _Hmm. Edward said I was the first to know. I wonder if…oh….haha….hahaha….yes! _I got an image of Renee in my mind and I grinned. I knew exactly what Charlie was up to.

"Don't thank me yet," he chuckled. Bella pulled away and looked at him, confused.

"What is it?"

"I hope you come up with a better explanation, you know." _Renee won't believe a word you say. She knows girls better than me! Oh, if I could hear her ramble on about it! Hahaha!_ I failed to hold in the laughter, joining in with Charlie as Bella looked between the two of us in puzzlement.

"Plan for what?"

"I'm not going to be the one to tell Renee." Bella's mouth formed a perfect "O" as the realization dawned on her.

_She wanted to steal you back to Phoenix so fast. I'm sure she'll scream through the roof of her house when she hears this news! If only I could be a fly on the wall during that conversation. Maybe she'll get through to Bells and talk her out of this craziness._

My face fell a little when an image of Bella wallowing around the house came to mind. I heard an argument between her and who I assumed to be Renee on her cell, and her stating very clearly that she didn't want to leave Forks. I knew that Renee adored me. Did that change while I was gone?

I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pants and I pulled it out to see that Jasper was calling me.

"Hello?" I asked, perking an eyebrow at the sudden call.

_"Hey, Edward. Alice is losing her mind right now with excitement. She demanded that I call and find out how Chief Swan is taking the news." _He sounded excited and anxious at the same time. I shrugged, excusing myself from Bella and Charlie to speak more privately. When I was out of the house, I sighed.

"Better than I expected, honestly. Why would Alice have you call when she could clearly see it herself?"

_"Actually, I lied. She saw that Bella and her father needed some alone time to chat and make up. So she made me call you. But I wasn't lying about her bouncing around the house like a tennis ball. I think she's more excited about this whole thing more than even you."_

I smirked and shook my head. "I don't know how you put up with her, Jazz. Thanks for the call. I agree that the two of them need some time alone."

_"When you guys get back, want to go out and hunt with me and Emmett? He's sulking from not nabbing a grizzly in a while."_

"Sure. Let me make sure Bella is alright first. I'll be back soon."

_"Alright. See you then."_

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and gazed up at the grey clouds overhead. How did my life become so perfect? Bella was going to become my wife in fifteen days. As much as it hurt me to change her, I knew that I would not be able to live without her. She loved me unconditionally, giving up her human life to be with me forever.

I planned on spending every day of forever proving my devotion to her.


	7. To Call You Mine

**Author's Note:** Oh my, this was a long section to write! This will be covering the night before and the beginning of the wedding between Edward and Bella! Aka, this coincides between chapters 44 and 45, and ends about halfway into 45. I decided to break it up, because this was getting really long. The next section will cover the remainder of the wedding as well as Bella's death and change! So get pumped. Anyways, enjoy the silliness that are the Cullen brothers. Leave me some lovely reviews!

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><p>"Where are you taking me?" I asked, staring out of the backseat of Emmett's Jeep. I was thoroughly frustrated. All we were supposed to be doing was hunting.<p>

Emmett, it seems, had other plans.

"Don't worry about it. It's a surprise. It's what we men do," Emmett snickered. Both his mind and Jasper's were on lockdown. Emmett was mentally singing his favorite rock ballads while Jasper recited various poetry.

Frustration was not the correct term, now that I think about it.

"I'm not feeling too confident with you right now, Emmett. You're keeping something from me, and I already told Bella not to worry." My younger brother scoffed.

"Man, you are so whipped. Just relax, will ya?"

"And you aren't? 'Oh please, Rose. Forgive me. I'll do whatever you want!'" I laughed at Jasper's Rosalie imitation. It was pretty spot on.

"Oh, shut up!" Emmett growled, and I glanced over in time to see him glare at Jasper.

"You do need to calm down, Edward," Jasper sighed. I shrugged, taking in a deep breath. Rolling his eyes, Emmett grinned. One of his fingers turned the radio knob at his dashboard and horrid music leaked from the speakers. "Emmett, that's _not_ going to help!" Jasper hissed.

"You two are ruining this for me and it hasn't even started yet! I'm just getting us in the mood!" Emmett growled jokingly. I ran one of my hands through my hair, refraining myself from destroying the radio on the spot.

"Could you at least turn it down? You're going to break the glass!" I requested, sounding rather tense. The vibrations from the bass were driving me insane. Emmett grumbled, but listened. After the music faded down a few decibels, I gazed back out into the night, trying to figure out what Emmett had planned for me.

Thankfully, it wasn't long before we stopped in what looked like Seattle. The nightlife was in full swing, and I heard Emmett whistle as we parked. Their minds were still blocked from me, but I noticed that Emmett seemed a little _too_ excited about something. Jasper looked excited as well, yet nervous. My emotions mixed with Emmett's didn't look too compatible, it seemed like.

"Now, I know you're gonna think this is lousy, but I need to blindfold you." Emmett snickered as he held up a satin fabric. I scowled.

"You're right. It's also juvenile!" Jasper winced, sensing my abrupt anger.

"Let him have his fun, Edward. You've never been married before, so this is a big deal for him." Jasper was trying to calm me down. I glared at him.

"I do not remember him putting you through this before your wedding with Alice!"

"We were already married before we came to you. Emmett lost his 'chance' at doing this." Jasper sighed, massaging his temple.

"What about you?" I looked over at the pouting Emmett.

"Aw, come on, Eddie. You only _really_ get married once. And I've been waiting for this to happen for ya. Just humor me?" His pouting was starting to get to me. A man built like Emmett should not be pouting like a desperate female. I crossed my arms. "You'll like the surprise, you'll see!"

"Ugh," I frowned. "Fine." Emmett cheered and wrapped the cloth around my head.

"Come on, Buddy. Let's do this!" Emmett patted my back, pushing me to walk next to him.

"This is ridiculous, Emmett. Why do I have a feeling you're going to put me through something I won't like?"

"Pfft. You're acting stupid. This is your last night as a 'single' guy! With your bros. You got to live a little."

"I've lived a lot, actually," I grumbled. Jasper patted my shoulder from my other side. "How much further are you blindingly leading me?"

"Not much longer. Just keep walkin'." Emmett's tone was growing higher. We were close to wherever he was taking us.

I started to hear loud music, and felt my insides tense. We weren't going to another club, were we? I would kill Emmett in front of everyone, if that was the case. The Lexicon was by far the worst experience I had. Granted, that was mainly because of seeing Bella nearly raped, but I hated those places regardless!

"There are a couple steps, to be careful," Jasper warned. I shook my head. I wasn't human. Even with my eyes blocked, I could sense the environment around us. Perhaps he was acting for whoever may be nearby.

I smelled an intense combination of sweat, alcohol, and perfume as we approached doors. I heard people entering and exiting. Emmett's hands were swift as I felt the cloth pulled away from my skin at the same time as being shoved into a building.

When my eyes adjusted to the dark nature of where we stood, I took in the scene playing before me, becoming rigid and stunned at what I witnessed.

There was a dark red hue, mixed with some purple lighting that stretched throughout the large room. At one end there were multiple booths, filled with people drinking and laughing. Caged walls separated the booths. The opposite end of the room had a long bar, also occupied with various individuals. I noticed immediately that the majority of the humans here were male. In the very center sat a large, square stage. It was surrounded by dozens of small, lush, beige chairs, all filled with drunk humans. Behind them were rows of simple black seats.

Scantily-dressed females were wrapped around metal pipes like snakes, shaking their revealing flesh towards onlookers who tossed dollar bills like it was rain along their bodies. Their whimsical movements matched the beats of music blaring around us. More of these women walked around, providing drinks and what I assumed to be lap-dances along plush, red couches that peppered the room.

Before I could fully process what I was seeing, I got the strongest waft of arousal, sickening me into a sort of bitterness. It had been a long time since I was around so many lustfully-charged humans. There was a reason why I changed my lifestyle.

_Oh shit, her tits are huge!_

_I wish my wife looked like this. Damn._

_My god, I think I found my meal ticket for the next month! I know who I'll be dancing on tonight!_

_Haha, I knew Joe would love this place. He's too highstrung at work. Yeah, work it, girl! Shake it!_

_I'm gonna lose sooooooo much monnnnneeeyyyy hurrrrr._

_I hope I make a decent grand tonight. Billy needs that new retainer. _

_I love blondes. Damn, her ass is fine. Oh god, can I wait until I get home?_

I pinched my nose to hold in my anger as I glanced at Emmett, who was hollering like an idiot for us to get a spot close to the stage.

Bella was correct. Apparently, vampires _do_ go to stri-no, _gentlemen's_ clubs.

My temper got the best of me, and I growled deeply as my hands grasped at the collar of Emmett's shirt, staring into his wide eyes.

"Do you think this is funny? How could you bring me here?" I snarled. Emmett's face somehow became paler as he shook me off of him.

"Aw, come on. Don't tell me you've never been at least curious about these places? These women are smoking hot! This is what you're supposed to do at a bachelor party! The guys get together, drink, and watch some fine-looking women dance! What's wrong with that?"

Was he serious? "What's wrong with that? Emmett, these women are parading around without any self-respect for men who view them only as objects!" I hissed under my breath.

_Whoa, dude. Didn't know you'd fly off the handle! _Emmett's blocking melted away as his sheepish thoughts poured. _This is just for fun! Don't be so crazed._

"Edward, don't create a scene," Jasper leaned over to my ear. _People are looking at us. Calm down._ I turned to see a few of the _customers_ as well as women staring at us with shock and wonder.

_Holy shit, that guy in the middle is hot! I hope he watches me!_ I heard a young woman plead from the stage. I bit my lip. I let go of Emmett's shirt and held my hands at my sides, knowing that Jasper would be right.

"Let's go sit down so you can get a grip." Emmett flashed me a grin before leading us to a free booth. Every step I took, I could smell and hear the lust and arousal in the room, and it bothered me immensely.

The last time I had been in a place like this was when I was rebellious. I fancied speakeasies for a time, mainly because of the underground vibe they gave off. The jazz music that was played also enlightened me. My curiosity took me to a few burlesque shows sometimes, but the women were much more covered than in the modern day. I used those women to feed upon. After swearing off of my foul behavior, I vowed never to set foot into another brothel-esqe establishment. Emmett was foolish in thinking that I would enjoy this.

_Edward, please calm down. Your disgust and guilt are not mixing well with the lust I'm feeling,_ Jasper glanced over at me. I noticed that my hands were holding onto the glass table a little too hard. I sighed, shaking my head and leaning back into the crushed velvet material behind me.

"You knew I would not agree to this. Why did you let this imbecile drag me here?" I spoke low enough for only my brothers to hear.

"You need to experience this once, Edward. Emmett's wanted to do this for a very long time." _Think of it as his way of bonding with his older brother._

Bonding? This is what he considered bonding? I'd rather take down bears.

"Seriously, I thought you'd get a kick outta this," Emmett frowned. _Shoulda known better with perpetual-panty-in-a-twist Edward Cullen. _He sulked, resting his chin on one of his hands.

_These guys are SO MINE tonight!_ I heard the squealing mind of a vivacious female as she approached the table, swaying her nearly-bare hips from side to side and winking. The only parts of her flesh I didn't see were the most intimate. But it left nothing to the imagination. "Hello boys, welcome to Déjà vu Showgirls," she greeted, with a hint of a northeastern accent. "Would you like something to drink?" _My god they are drop dead gorgeous. Lucinda, you just got lucky!_

"I'd love some Jack on ice, please, sweets." Emmett seemed to be a professional in terms of these places, knowing exactly how to speak to a woman of this human's…occupation.

"Straight Vodka, Ma'am." Jasper threw out his southern drawl exceptionally strong.

_Oh gawd, a southern boy. Yes! _The young woman flashed me a grin as she ogled my face. _What's he? Another southerner? Maybe someone abroad. He has that worldly look. MmMm it would be hot if he was Irish or British or something._ Her thoughts were irritating me. "And you, handsome?"

"Nothing, thank you," I said politely. She raised an eyebrow, looking disappointed. Emmett grumbled.

"He's being modest. Get him a pitcher of the Captain," Emmett glowered at me. "One's gotta celebrate his last night as a free man!"

"Oh! Is this a bachelor thing?" she asked excitedly. _Aw, he's taken. That's disappointing. Maybe I can give him a nice thrill, though…_

"You bet! Bring on the booze!" Emmett exclaimed. Jasper smiled cautiously, forcing a wave a calm to envelop me before my rage could erupt. The woman bounced off, making sure to thrust out her rear end as she walked to the bar.

How much of this could I take? I could sense Jasper fighting my anger amongst the excitement of Emmett and the lust of the dozens of humans all around us. I wondered if his bloodlust was becoming a burden as well.

I forced myself to look amused as Emmett chugged down his alcohol. I sipped the rum he ordered slowly, hiding the disgust I had for the liquid as it slithered down my throat.

"How do you drink this, Emmett?" I choked out while Jasper smirked.

"I know it's not the best stuff in the world, but it's still pretty good! It warms me up some. I like that." My hands held my face as I shook my head. I imagined that Emmett must've been an alcoholic in his human life. He was right on how it warmed up our bodies. The effect wasn't too strong, and didn't last for as long as it would in human bodies.

Nothing warmed me up better than Bella, though.

Bella. What was she doing right now? Alice told me about the surprise visit from Renee. I'm sure that even though Bella hates surprises, she would appreciate that. Seeing her friends and spending some quality time with her mother would be good for her. One of the last occasions for her, too. My eyes darkened when I started thinking about Bella's change. I hoped she would like the island I planned on taking her to. Being alone: just the two of us in the warm sand and salt water.

_Edward? You okay? You look so focused. _I lifted my head and saw Jasper watching me with concerned eyes.

"I'm fine. Having wedding nerves, I guess you could say," I said.

"Dude, tomorrow is gonna rock for you. Every time Rose and I get married, it's great!" Emmett grinned, looking smug.

"That's because you get to take off her wedding gown every time, Emmett," Jasper commented. Emmett would have blushed if it was plausible. Instead, he took another swig of his whiskey and nodded.

"Well, yeah, there's that." An image of their last honeymoon appeared. I winced at the image of Emmett as he took his time unbuttoning down the back of Rosalie's wedding dress, watching it fall from her bare skin…

"Quit that right now!" I seethed. Jasper blurted out a laugh as Emmett buried himself in his drink.

"Sorry…couldn't help it! Blame the booze."

"Can't. Wish that I could though. Knowing that you have a perverted mind on your own is terrifying enough." My patience of this place was waning. Feeling all the arousal and lust was putting me on edge, only wanting to return to my Bella and…

"Hey there, sexy boys!" I heard a high-pitched squeal. The three of us turned and saw six young women, all practically nude and intoxicated, staring at us with hungry eyes.

"What's this?" I sneered low enough for Emmett to hear.

_I have no clue, I promise, Bro. _

"I took the liberty in letting a few of my girlfriends know that this was a special night for you!" Our waitress (if that is what she could be called), Lucinda, ran over and grinned at me brightly. "They all volunteered to show you a good time," she cooed as she leaned over, exposing her massive cleavage near my face and lightly touching my hair with her hands. I flinched at the contact. Her breath reeked of alcohol and marijuana.

"Thank you, but I don't have any interest in celebrating," I tried to put her down easy, moving away from her hands. She didn't hear me, or she didn't listen. Her hands grabbed my shirt and pulled me out of my seat, stunning me. The other girls surrounded me as I was led to one of the plush loveseats, and tossed into it. I saw Emmett and Jasper follow with surprised, yet amused eyes. One of the girls, a short-haired red head, bent over in front of me, thrusting her rear towards my direction.

_Oh, my, God. I can't believe this! Eddie's getting a freaking lap dance! Where's the camera when you need it? _Emmett was laughing.

_You have to admit that this is amusing, Edward. I'd never bet that I'd see you in such a…position…_I glared at Jasper hard when I could hear the arousal in his own thoughts.

This was all wrong. I didn't want this! A wave of relaxation fell over my body, and I hissed. Jasper _wanted_ me to want this. Was he mad?

The red head was joined by an extremely skinny blond, and the two began to press themselves against my legs, feeling my chest through my shirt.

I had to admit that a small fraction of me was enjoying this. Their hands were warm through the cotton of my polo. Their scents of arousal were overpowering, contagious...

No. NO. DAMNIT, JASPER! I howled, throwing my hands against the girls and running out of the club, heaving in long breaths when the cooler air of the polluted city filled my lungs. The mortification I felt drenched all my senses. For a split second, I enjoyed having other women touch me! My heart sank. I could never tell Bella of my betrayal, no matter how small it was. I only wanted her hands on me. Her skin against mine.

"Edward!" Emmett's booming voice screamed behind me, causing me to halt my sprint. When he and Jasper caught up with me, I had to hold back, perhaps more than I first met Bella. I wanted to rip Emmett apart for putting me through that humiliating scene. Jasper used his ability to calm me down. When I was able to collect my thoughts clearly and swallow some of the venom that pooled in my mouth from rage, I stared at Emmett in disgust.

"I can't believe you let that happen. Do you have any idea what that felt like?" I was shaking. Even Jasper couldn't hold me back as much as I would have liked. "I feel violated. Defiled! You made me lead those women on, expecting something from me that I would never provide!" The growling coming out of me was tensing all of us up.

"Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't know that was going to happen, I swear." Emmett shook his shoulders and hung his head with guilt. _Just wanted us to have a good time. I'll know never to take you out like this again._

_He is so full of resentment, Edward. It's reminding me of you. Don't ruin this,_ Jasper thought. After a few minutes passed, I cleared my throat.

"I believe you. And I apologize for acting like that. It just made me very…uncomfortable." As I thought about it, I realized that my brothers knew little about my rebellious years. So it made sense that Emmett would not have known my strong dislike for these kinds of places. "I didn't mean to get so upset. Did you have any other plans for this evening?" I hoped the softness in my tone was sincere enough. Emmett glanced between Jasper and me with a sullen expression at first. But I saw his classic grin appear, and I knew he would be alright.

"Actually, I do. Let's head back to the Jeep." _Thanks for not killing me._ Emmett nodded to me as we walked to the parking lot.

"You're actions don't warrant death, Emmett. Just a strict scolding." I sighed and laughed alongside him. "Your next idea better not involve anything like this."

"No, no! You'll honestly like this. I promise." _Your ability will come in handy for it!_

I raised an eyebrow at the mention of my ability as we got inside. Emmett pulled out and drove for about an hour. While draped in the backseat, I decided to text Bella. After the fiasco, I wanted nothing more than to be at her side. It was still a little on the early side, so I hoped I would not wake her with my silliness.

_Hope Alice didn't upset you too much. Have especially sweet dreams, Love, _I texted into the device and sent it.

A few minutes later, I beamed while Bella's name flashed across my screen above the text notification.

_Tonight was just what I needed. Outside of eternity with you. Hope the grizzlies don't fight back too hard. See you tomorrow. Love you._

Eternity with me. God, I loved this woman. And in only a few hours, she was going to be mine forever. I still reeled from that knowledge. That I had found someone who loved me.

The rest of the ride wasn't unpleasant. We spoke about the next day, joked about the change in me from when we first moved into Forks, and about various college topics. Emmett was telling us how Rosalie was thinking about where to go to school after her associates when we pulled into a parking lot beside a building that had arched, flashing neon lights. When I saw them, I knew immediately where we were.

I grinned.

"Welcome to Goldie's Casino and Games!" A young brunette smiled as she led us into one of the biggest Casinos in Seattle. "Feel free to look around. We have Blackjack, Three-Card Poker, Spanish 21, Texas Hold'em, and other specials. If you have any questions, feel free to ask for Cindy. That's me!" She was awfully cheery, but I didn't let it get to me.

My spirits were quickly lifted as we hit the tables. My ability certainly did come in handy with Blackjack, and I won my fair share. I let others win as well, not wanting to be too suspicious. Time flew amazingly, and before I knew it, my cell phone rang. Carlisle was out of the hospital and wanted to know where we were. He joined us while we were playing Poker about an hour later, and the four of us enjoyed ourselves. It wasn't that we needed the money, but the thrill of the games made it fun. Emmett, as usual, wanted my aid when he played. I teased him for a while, giving him the wrong gestures. It was my own revenge for the earlier humiliation.

After a few more rounds of gambling, Carlisle suggested that we go and hunt. I was relieved. Being surrounded by so much stress the eve before my wedding did make my throat parched. We travelled to the mountains, so Emmett could have his grizzlies and I could have my deer. Luck played in my favor for once this night, for we ran into some elk on the way, which was a delicious change. I enjoyed the battle with adult elk more than deer, mainly because I loved to grab onto their longer antlers and swing them around to shock their systems.

_Edward, could we have a little chat, please?_ I heard Carlisle a few yards away. After finishing my meal, I found him sitting on a large boulder, staring out into the valley below. It was still dark out, but dawn was beginning to make itself known at the horizon. "Beautiful, isn't it?" He observed as I joined him. I rested myself on the smooth stone, listening to the peaceful sounds of awakening birds and various yawning or scurrying animals. Late-night humans were making their ways home while early-hour workers were getting to their jobs. Even for a Saturday, it sounded busy in the town of Forks below.

"Yes. I love this time of day. It is almost as delightful as dusk." Carlisle pulled away a loose strand of his blond hair behind his ear and turned to me.

"Today is a big day for you," he stated. _Getting cold feet? No pun intended. _I smiled, shaking my head. Gazing back out into the endless sky, I sighed longingly. The air was crisp still; filled with dew.

"I have never been more certain in a decision before in my life, Carlisle. Bella is everything I've wanted and more."

"You've had a long road to this point. And Bella is an exceptional young woman. I'm looking forward to calling her my daughter." The pride in Carlisle's voice astounded me. _I'm so glad that you two found one another. What you have is nothing short of enchanting. Like Esme and I. _

"I appreciate that, Carlisle. Thank you."

"Are you prepared for the change?" _I know how much you are against it._ I let out a long sigh.

"As prepared as I can be. I hate the idea of taking away her humanity, Carlisle. She wants it badly, I know. And I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the same. But a part of me still wonders about losing her soul."

"Son, you may not have realized it, but Bella has changed you so much since you've met. I have no doubt in my mind that you do indeed have a soul, as we all do. Perhaps it was just hidden under your shame and guilt. I understand your fears. I've had them myself. Believe me. I think that Bella will be perfectly intact." _If anyone deserves happiness, it's you and her, Edward. Never forget that. The unbreakable devotion you two have will surpass all of this. You two were meant to be mates._

"I admit that what you say is comforting, Carlisle. Yet, I am still grappling with my insecurities." He chuckled at my side, shaking his head.

"Changing another is a difficult process. I feared that I would break you when I changed you." _I was so inexperienced then._

"Yes, you have told me how nervous you were. You were afraid of killing me when you tasted my blood."

"That was part of it. Your blood was diseased at the time, so the bloodlust I had wasn't as strong as it was with Esme or Rosalie. I was more terrified of myself. It had been the first time I would have tasted human blood. But, even more than that, I was worried about letting your mother down."

"Elizabeth?" I turned when he mentioned my birth mother. His gaze was forlorn as he watched the rustling of the trees. The clenching of his jaw signified that he was tense.

With a nod, he continued, "She was so confident that I could save you. I never thought of making a vampire. Who would want this life? But your mother somehow knew that I had that capability. The look in her dying eyes when she begged…she wanted you to live your life healthily. Without disease or poverty. How could I say no to that?"

I thought about how my behavior was when I first turned, and I frowned. Up until Bella came into my life, I had been cold to my family. Carlisle constantly barraged himself with blame for my depression. Now I fully understood why.

"Carlisle, I am sorry for how I've treated you this past century. You saved me from death, and I never reciprocated that care with you." Guilt reaped through me.

"Elizabeth would be so proud of you. You have come a long way since that makeshift hospital bed, Son. I wanted to tell you this because I can see that same fear in your own eyes. You are afraid of letting Bella down. Remember, she is your mate, and always will be your mate. The struggle you have inside of you is only further proof that you love her. She wants this life. She wants you in her life. It is so rare to find that as a human, let alone as one of us." _Doubting yourself will only upset her, Edward. We all know that you are strong enough. Overthinking it isn't worth the stress._

Carlisle was such a caring soul.

Soul.

I had one, didn't I? I smiled as I remembered Bella telling me that without one, I couldn't love her.

"You're right, Carlisle. I will do my best to make her change comfortable for the both of us." His hand snaked around my back and patted me on the shoulder. I had never felt so close to him before this moment. He was born to be a father. And I couldn't feel more proud to be his son.

"We will protect each other as best we can when the Volturi decide to visit." _Having Bella on our side will help out a lot, I think. _My eyes lowered. I knew that the danger posed by the Volturi would be great, whether or not Bella was human. I made a solemn vow after being freed that I would do all in my power to protect Bella and my family.

"Yes, we will."

_Hey, you two alright? I'm feeling all sorts of emotions from over here! _Jasper's thoughts sounded distant, yet clear enough for me to decipher. I laughed out loud, causing Carlisle to look at me, perplexed.

"Jasper's worried about us." Carlisle smiled.

"Hmm. What do you say we finish our hunting excursions? I think I'm done rambling like an old man." _You've come such a long way from the bitter loner that moved here. _

"Sounds good to me. I need to get more payback for Emmett's little surprise," I said as I slid off the boulder behind Carlisle.

"Surprise? What did he do now?" Carlisle asked. I grumbled. Emmett never told him?

"He thought it would be a brilliant idea to take me to a…a gentlemen's club." Carlisle's face became long as his golden eyes grew large. Carlisle was the only one who knew of my escapades. He burst into laughter, making my expression turn sour.

"When will Emmett learn? Sometimes I wonder if his maturity level will ever change as he ages," he held his stomach as we walked. _I'm sorry that happened to you. I can have a chat with him if you'd like?_

"No need. I've been getting him back the rest of the night, and plan on rubbing it in his face right now," I slyly spoke with a grin. Carlisle nodded with a smile and the two of us leapt into the woods, ready to meet back up with my brothers and finish our hunting. I wanted to be well "rested" for my wedding.

By the time we returned home, the clearing was well on its way to being fully prepared. Rosalie was sprinting around with the Camellia japonicas that Esme ordered, aligning them amongst the unlit torches and tables. The flowers were a perfect match. The meaning behind the Camellia certainly paralleled my love for Bella. The petals reflected in the Chinese tradition that of a woman's spirit. Woven along them, the calyx, reflected her lover, chosen by her, to be her protector. Bella had chosen me as her protector and lover. And that was something I treasured.

Rosalie looked more relaxed when she noticed us, waving quickly before calling Esme on her cell for some help with assembling the wedding arch. I heard some cars pulling in the distance, and smiled when I recognized Tanya through the brush. She rushed over to me, embracing me in a gentle hug. I felt mildly embarrassed, since I had yet to clean myself up.

_I am so happy for you, Edward! Oh…you just hunted, didn't you?_ Her thoughts were calming as she pulled herself away, straightening out a few strands of her long, blonde hair. Behind her, I saw Katrina and Irina. "It's been too long, you know." Her lips pouted in a joking manner, making Emmett snicker at my side. "Hello, Emmett, Jasper. And how are you doing Carlisle?"

"Wonderfully, Tanya. It's great that you could make it." He looked around at Irina briefly. She seemed unsettled, watching everything around her with caution. I wondered how Jasper was handling it. "Will she be alright? You informed her of the wolves, haven't you?" I grimaced.

"Ah, yes, I have. She came only because of you, Edward. I wouldn't push her though," she said worriedly. I shook my head. _This is incredibly hard for her._ I knew all too well. Having her mate killed by a werewolf long ago made her very lost and bitter to those around her.

"There is no need for concern. Alice created the appropriate seating arrangements so that you will not be anywhere near them." I lifted my head and looked straight at Irina, making sure her red eyes met mine. "I appreciate you making it, Irina. Thank you."

"Hm," she nodded, flexing her hands at her side and taking a deep breath.

"Where are Eleazar and Carmen?" Carlisle asked.

"Oh, they came in a separate car. They should be here shortly," Tanya smiled as me warmly. _That human is a very lucky girl. _I was well aware of her attachment to me in Alaska. It made me respect her for showing up for my wedding. But truly, blondes were not attractive to me. I preferred brunettes.

"Oh! I didn't notice you've arrived! Welcome!" Esme's voice chirped from across the clearing as she appeared with extra flowers. She and the sisters exchanged hugs before she lightly smacked me on my forearm. "What on earth are you doing here? You boys need to get ready!" _Honestly, what am I doing to do with you? You are covered in deer and bear scent. Go wash up! Carlisle dropped off the tuxes in his study._

Emmett snickered along with Jasper. Carlisle rolled his eyes, patting my shoulder.

"Alright, Son. That's our cue to leave these lovely ladies to their devices while we men go and get gussied up," he teased, winking at Esme before walking with the rest of us towards the house.

_By the way, Edward, I caught a glimpse of your bride. She is simply stunning, _Esme projected her thoughts loudly so I could hear. It made me quite excited to see Bella in a bridal gown. Hopefully, my sister wasn't putting her through too much torture.

There was a lovely trail laid out back to the house. It would look exceptional in the night. We took our time getting back to the house, since there were still a few hours before the ceremony. The smell of reception food made me cringe while we got inside the back doors.

_Welcome home. Don't you DARE come in my room!_ Alice's banter was loud and clear in my head. It almost hurt! I laughed lightly.

"You gotta be excited, right?" Emmett nudged me. I nodded. "My lil Eddie is getting married!" He whined like a stereotypical mother, grabbing me at my shoulders and shaking me silly. I growled, pushing him away.

"Grow up, Emmett." He chuckled at my irritation.

_Hey, whatever, Man. You need to relax! Enjoy yourself, for once. Today is your day!_ "Well I know I stink, so I'm hoppin' in the shower!" He grinned before blasting off to the upstairs.

"He's very animated today," Carlisle scratched his shin with a shrug. "Oh well. You boys know where the tuxes, are, so go get yourselves ready. Did Alice mention where we are supposed to be?"

"We are to be out in the clearing a little before the sun sets. I saw it in her vision."

"Great," Jasper said. He stretched out his arms and smirked. _Can't wait to see my Ali in her dress._

"Alright, alright. I need to wash myself of the last 16 or so hours…" I scowled as the image of Alice in a…compromising position against Jasper flew past my eyes. Carlisle shook his head and glared at a sheepish Jasper as I went into Carlisle's study to get my tuxedo before going upstairs. Emmett commandeered the usual bathroom, so I had to use Bella's. Her scent was swirling around me when I entered. There was a slight outline of her slender body still etched in the undone sheets. I took the time to fix the bed and become sloshed by her sweetness. I walked over to her closet, looking at her garments and smiling when I spotted the bathing suit Alice bought her for our honeymoon, though she didn't know that, yet.

I heard voices from Alice's bedroom down the hall, and I grinned as Bella protested whatever Alice or Renee was doing to her. I promised Alice that I would not focus on what was going on, so I quickly shifted my attention on my need to shower, briskly making my way into the shower and turning on the hot water. It felt refreshing as it rained on my cold, marble skin, washing away whatever blood lingered from hunting. I took extra time to scrub my hair, making sure all the dirt and grime from the mountains was gone. My efforts were successful, and when I could no longer smell the musk from trees, I stepped out and dried off.

Oddly enough, I looked over myself in Bella's bathroom mirror, seeing my form for the first time in a long while. Bella called me beautiful on multiple occasions during our relationship, and I never fully grasped her feelings. I never saw myself that way. I don't think I even felt that way as a human. I was just a man. I was just a man about to get married. Married! How that was even possible, I wasn't sure. The only future for me was loneliness. That was what I believed. Now, the thought of being alone tore at my heart. Bella…

Smiling, I ran a hand through my damp hair and walked back into the bedroom, grabbing my clothing and changing into the slick, black tux. I took my time in putting on all the accessories, wondering how Bella would react. She had never seen me in a tuxedo before. Would she like what she saw? I knew I cleaned up nicely, but her opinion meant the world to me. Once finished, I went downstairs and greeted more people as they began to arrive. Esme was like a bee buzzing around a hive in her movements, and I heard her having to remind herself to act human. I never saw her so thrilled at any of the previous weddings we held. Mine was very important to her, I assumed.

After mingling with the guests for some time, I saw my siblings assembling around the back patio. Alice motioned for me to join them, and she embraced me. She did look beautiful in her gown, as did Rosalie.

_Charlie just arrived. He's upstairs. I'm giving him a few minutes with Bella, and then it'll be time to start,_ Alice thought. "Aren't you excited? Everything is coming together so nicely!" I laughed at her enthusiasm. Jasper grabbed her waist and clung to her.

"Bella will be overjoyed when she sees," I complimented.

"She better be. I did most of the work!" Rosalie snapped. _Though, it looks amazing. Makes me want to throw another one…_

"You did, Babe, and it looks awesome," Emmett said before pressing his lips on her cheek. Her face softened.

"Okay everyone, it's showtime!" Alice cheered, pushing me away. "Shoo! Get to your post!" Her giggles put me on edge and I sighed and walked down the now-lit up trail. The firelight made everything look dream-like. I enjoyed it. My breathing was shallow from nerves as I passed the friends and family that had gathered. Phil nodded to me from his seat when I turned around, and I did the same. I saw Renee hustle from the house, smiling as she winked at me when she sat beside her husband. Carlisle and Esme looked proud as they held each other's hands.

Soft music carried over the crowd, and I held in a breath as I watched Alice and Jasper come down towards me slowly. The couple was smiling, and it made anticipation grew in my chest. Alice had shown me bits and pieces of the wedding, but not a thing on Bella's appearance. It was driving me crazy. Emmett and Rosalie were interlocked behind them, smiling beautifully as well. I saw a ruffle of brown hair, watching as Charlie walked, side by side, with my to-be wife.

A gasp got caught in my throat as I held my breath. Words could not describe the radiance that was my Bella as she carefully walked in her high heels. The custom dress Alice ordered for her made her look like a princess. It was white as ivory, tightly woven around her flushed skin. It flowed around her legs, hiding them from sight. The midsection clung to her abdomen and upper chest, exposing just a hint of her breasts. She was holding a small bouquet of white roses, with a few pink ones mixed in. They matched her reddening cheeks. That same blush spread all the way down her neck. Her hair was curled and dancing between her bare shoulders and sheer, transparent veil. Something blue caught my eye, and I saw a vintage, but stunning Safire necklace around her neck. Then my eyes met the hypnotizing orbs of chocolate heaven, and I knew I was home. The light of the torches made her glow like an angel descending to me. Charlie seemed a little unsure as they walked, but his eyes were sincere when the two of them met up with me.

"Take care of my Bells," he said as he held out one of Bella's delicate hands for me. _I'm leaving her with you. I'm trusting you, which is very hard for me to do, Cullen. _I smiled, giving him a nod as I took her warm hand.

"I promise I will." Charlie coughed awkwardly at my response before quickly walking to his seat beside Billy Black and Sam. They were the only pack members that came. Sam told me in his thoughts that Jacob was on the fence about coming, in fear of exploding. The others were watching over him. My eyes rested on Bella, my hands pulling her to my side. My lips trembled slightly as I whispered in her ear, "You look astonishing, Love. The twilight hour makes you glow." I looked over to the justice of the peace as he began to recite the words of our ceremony. I couldn't stop my body from tingling, and I was afraid that Bella may feel my nervousness.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of these two as they begin their journey forward in life as one. It is rare to find someone that is your perfect equal in this world. But when one finds it, it is their own miracle that needs to be cherished and cared for. These two individuals found their halves through the fog of life. Let them cherish each other for the rest of their days and beyond. Now, I understand that you two have written your own vows?" I nodded to the old man. "Edward, would you like to begin?" I turned to Bella, noticing that she was staring at me with adoration; completely lost in her own world. I had to stifle a chuckle as I nudged her.

"Bella?"

"Huh?" Her voice was very soft as she murmured. She was so adorable.

"It's time for us to say our vows," I explained, watching in amusement as she woke from her daze, blushing profusely in embarrassment. I took her other hand into mine, holding onto them as if I needed to keep her on the ground with me. I gazed into her eyes intensely as my mind rattled around the words I longed to express. "Isabella Swan, you have had my heart since the day I walked into our humanities class. Though we had a slightly rough start, I knew from the beginning that I wanted to get to know you. You were my first real friend in Forks. Your way of viewing the world and those around you has inspired me. I've become a better brother, a better son, a better man because of you. You gave me a reason to live. You taught me what love really is. I promise to make sure that if you ever should slip and fall, that I will be there to catch you. I will always love you."

She was crying at this point. The salty tang from them compelled me to wipe them away, but I stopped myself in fear of breaking her. Her heart was thumping so hard, I feared she would faint. But she took in a deep breath as the justice reminded her that it was her turn.

"Before I met you, I never knew what real love was. Before I met you, I didn't know I was missing something so crucial in my life. Then we met. I was dazzled by you instantly. With your indirect help, I began to look deep inside myself, and I discovered things that I wouldn't have otherwise. I realized I was missing something important; something in my heart. I was like an unfinished puzzle. Because of you, so many different emotions and thoughts dictated me. I had never been so self-conscious, so nervous, or so scared before. But I also had never felt so much love for someone. You were my missing puzzle piece. I still wonder how you can handle all my clumsiness and quirky personality, but I know deep down that we were made for each other. You are my perfect match in every way. And I promise to do my very best to show you each and every day how much I appreciate you in my life. I love you, Edward."

Venom glazed around my eyes, and I felt the need to sob at her amazing words. I kept my smile as the justice instructed me to place the wedding band on Bella's finger. Jasper gave it to me, and it fit like a glove around her finger. Perfectly. Where it belonged. Alice handed Bella the ring for me, and I could tell from her hastened breathing and shaking hand that she was afraid of mucking it up. I squeezed her other hand gently to calm her, and she smiled back at me when she was able to slide it on.

"Wonderful. You may now kiss the bride," the justice spoke.

With pleasure.

I leaned in slowly, losing myself in Bella's tearful eyes before they closed. When her lips touched mine, I grabbed her and pulled her closer to me, holding her at her waist and the small of her back while our tongues danced. The noise from our onlookers didn't matter. Neither did their thoughts. Only Bella. My wife.

My everything.


	8. Descent

**Author's Note:**Wow, this is the longest chapter I've ever written! This covers the rest of chapter 45 of _Starlight Vows_, coincides with chapter 46, fills in the blanks over 47, and coincides with most of 48. A lot happens to poor Edward during the wedding! I hope this answers a lot of your questions about Bella's change and Edward's hopes and fears over the whole ordeal. There will be only 2 more sections left! Leave some love in your reviews and let me know what you're thinking!

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><p>"I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Cullen!"<p>

Bella pulled away from me, gasping for oxygen. One of my hands dropped from her heated cheek to her hand, grasping it. My mouth was frozen in a smile while we turned to face our audience. They were standing and clapping wildly. Emmett was whistling. There were so many thoughts were spinning around, I imagined that I was on a playground carousel at top speed! Alice nodded her head to me at her side, motioning for us to leave for them to set up back at the house for the reception. Bella seemed a little dazed, so I didn't get too worried when she didn't quite move of her own accord. Her weight was pulled by me slightly, as I led her back down the aisle to the house.

Once we were finally alone in my kitchen, I grabbed her body and held her against me, taking in her delicious scent. I wanted to drown in it. With my wife. My wife. I would never get tired of saying that. It was silly of me to think that way, but something as simple as a human wedding ceremony just made me feel like I was flying. It was a ritual that I never experienced while alive, and never expected to experience as I was now. My hands roamed down Bella's back, tracing along the embroidery under my fingertips, before resting on her hips with a sigh. Her head lay on my chest. She was unusually silent.

"Are you alright, Bella?" I asked while feeling her soft hair against my nose.

"It hasn't hit me yet, that's all," she replied meekly against my tuxedo jacket. I wanted to question her on how that was possible, then remembered that marriage was a large step for her. With a light chuckle, I slid my palm under her chin and lifted her face so I could look into her wonderful eyes.

"I've waited a century to marry you. Now you're mine. And I'm yours, forever," I said, suddenly feeling exasperated. My lips left a cool trail along her running makeup, making their way down her jaw and finally at her lips chastely. "I love you so much. Has it hit you, yet?"

"I think I may need a little more convincing, Mr. Cullen." I was taken aback at her sly tone, smiling as her tongue appeared through her lips. Her hand rose to my face, cradling it in her warm palm. Instantly, I felt at ease, leaning against it, when she winked at me coyly. That little minx!

"You'd me the death of me if I wasn't already there, _Mrs._ Cullen," I gasped, feeling lust come over me. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to show it to my Bella, because Alice's explosive mind distracted me.

_No ravaging each other in the kitchen! You have a reception to look decent for!_ She mentally screamed at me, making me growl too low for Bella to hear. She slid open one of the glass doors and poked her head through, smiling at us. "Alright, lovebirds, time to come back out!" I sensed Bella tense. Another long moment of being the center of attention. I took her hand and led her outside, where everyone surrounded the patio with bright smiles and cheers. "May I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen!" Alice was exuberant as she pranced in front of us happily. After the initial shock of everyone's stares wore off for Bella, I assumed it would be a good time to see our parents.

Esme was the first to embrace Bella, smiling with a mother's pride. "Congradulations! You did wonderfully!" _I have a new daughter! I'm so happy._ Phil and Renee patiently waited their turn. Renee was sobbing happily, grabbing her daughter and hugging her tightly while Phil casually shook my hand.

"You looked beautiful up there!" Renee exclaimed into Bella's shoulder through tears. _My baby is all grown up!_ I easily sensed tension amongst us, and saw Charlie walk over with his face wrinkled in nervousness. Bella let go of her mother and looked at him.

"You were great, Bells. Congradulations," he said quietly. _You did look pretty amazing. You're glowing. Never knew you could look so at peace._

"Thanks, Dad," Bella replied. I got a whiff of dog nearby and followed her brief glance over to Billy and Sam. They were smart to stay away from us, but nodded their acknowledgement. She was probably noticing for the first time that Jacob had not shown. I squeezed Bella's hand to turn her attention back to our family. Carlisle stepped in, patting my back and smiling.

"Welcome to the family, Bella," he said. _I mean that in every sense. Speaking of which, the Denalis are looking for you. We can keep her parents company._

I took the hint immediately. "We are going to mingle some, Carlisle," I said. "I'd like to introduce my wife to our visiting friends." I loved calling her that.

"Alright." _Irina is still very tense. Don't try and engage with her too much. Tanya and the others are looking forward to meeting Bella. I would keep her close to you, in case her scent becomes enticing to them._ With a slight nod, I led Bella away from our beaming parents to a corner of the patio, where the Denali sisters were standing and conversing. Tanya turned to us first, smiling at me before looking over Bella.

_My, she is certainly beautiful for a human!_ "Congradulations, Edward, Bella," she said sweetly. Her deep red eyes flickered with a twinge of thirst. She caught Bella's scent._ Goodness, how do you control yourself around someone who smells so good? _Bella stiffened at my side. Did she notice that, too?

"Thank you, Tanya," I replied, not wanting to upset Bella. "Bella, these are the Denali sisters. We lived with them in Alaska before moving here to Forks. This is Tanya, and her sisters Irina and Katrina." Katrina winked at me before grinning at Bella.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you. You can just call me Kate." _I bet Tanya is fuming right about now. No way she could match this girl's natural beauty._

"H-hello," Bella stuttered. Perhaps she was afraid? I had forgotten that she had yet to be around _nice_ vampires that drank human blood. Her eyes fell on Irina, who stood the farthest from us. Her mind was blank as she stared off, pretending to look at Bella. I leaned over to Bella to explain.

"Irina is not a big fan of wolves," I whispered at her soft ear before returning my glance at Irina. "I appreciate you coming, anyway, Irina." Her eyes fell back on me for a few seconds.

_Only for you, Edward. Otherwise, I would have shredded the mongrels here. But I respect your lifestyle, so I will keep calm. Congradulations,_ she thought with a nod.

_Wait a moment there, Sir,_ a familiar voice sang in my head. I sheepishly grinned. "Don't forget to acquaint us with your wife, Edward." _I'm hurt by your reluctance to introduce us first!_ My good friend Eleazar teased me mentally with a subtle smirk on his olive face. Carmen was entwined with him as usual, looking over at Bella with curious eyes.

"I wouldn't do that!" I playfully exclaimed. Eleazar proceeded to take Bella's hand and kiss the back of it. Her blush spread along her cheeks, making me smile.

"My name is Eleazar. It is an honor to meet the woman who has Edward here so smitten." It was easy to see that Bella was taken with his charm. He loved doing that to the opposite sex. _She is luscious, Edward. You are very lucky._

"Nice to meet you," Bella responded, seemingly dazed.

Jealousy crashed over me like a tidal wave, and I spoke up to stop them. "This is Carmen, Eleazar's mate. They are also part of the Denali coven." Eleazar shot me a sly smirk, knowing he had gotten to me.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Isabella. We have heard many things about you," Carmen said while bowing her head politely. _I have to say, Edward that you chose a lovely woman. Without even speaking to her, I can sense her love for you._

"Thank you for travelling so far for the wedding," Bella replied.

"When we heard of the news from Carlisle, we couldn't say no!" Tanya claimed. _I had to see this for myself, after all._

"There would be no way we would miss this," Kate said. _I've been waiting for the day to see Edward actually interacting with others and not moping around!_

_My goodness. This is incredible,_ Eleazar's thoughts interrupted the Denali sisters' in my head. "I sense something strong about you, Isabella."

"What?" Bella's lips pursed as she looked at my friend with a confused expression.

"Eleazar can sense abilities, in humans and in vampires," I replied, meeting Eleazar's gaze.

_She will be quite powerful as one of us. Her ability is strong, like nothing I have ever encountered. It's going to be sublime!_

"Do you really think she will have that kind of power?"

_Oh yes. She will. Infinitely so,_ he thought with a dip of his head.

"Hmm." Now I was very curious about her ability. Eleazar has seen so many over his lifetime. How could Bella be something new?

"What? What is it? What will I have?" It slipped my mind that Bella couldn't hear my discussion. Eleazar took over for me, smiling at her warmly.

"Ha ha, do not worry, my dear. You will find out in due time." _You will be a most magnificent creature. You best come and visit us after she is changed, Edward._

"Bella! It's time to throw your bouquet!" Alice's voice rang from the patio. Bella's face fell and her lips puckered into a frown.

"Seems like you're being summoned," Carmen said. I held in a sigh as my poor bride grumbled under her breath. We all gathered around the patio to watch her toss the flowers over her shoulder. When the bouquet landed in Angela's hand, I burst out in laughter as her mind raced with shocking thoughts with her boyfriend, Ben. It was amusing, to say the least!

Not long after that, Bella and I were dragged to the dance floor to start it off properly. Bella had complained to me numerous times about her fear of falling flat on her face because of the ridiculous heels Alice made her wear. While the music played, I swung her around the floor; the two of us swaying together like a perfect match. Her body relaxed in mine, letting me carry her along myself through the melodies. Our eyes never left each other while we danced. It was as though our gaze was holding us together like glue.

_They are so perfect together. _

_Who knew Bella could dance like that? She slips on her own feet!_

_Yeah, you go, Bro!_

_I can feel the love between the two of you. It's overwhelming. _

_Bells looks so happy…_

_This seems so wrong. But when I take away the fact that he is a bloodsucker, they do seem whole. _

_Bella is so gorgeous. _

_That was the best dress for me to get for her. It brings out all her pretty qualities! Score one for Alice!_

"You are such a sight, Bella," I said softly. Honestly. I didn't think I said it enough. My heart wanted to do flips when I saw her blush deepening at her cheeks, spreading down her neck. Perfection was in my arms. "I'm glad you can't hear what everyone here is thinking. You would either feel guilty or angry."

"That bad?" she asked with perked interest. I smiled. She was playing innocent. And she knew that I liked that. Holding back my urge to take her that very moment, I leaned in slightly so she could hear me clearly.

"Tortuous." Her skin shuddered at my word. Good. I spun her around a few times to break our growing physical frustration.

"Edward, you never told me where our honeymoon would be. Why?" She sounded worried. I leaned forward, brushing my lips at the gape of her neck teasingly.

"It's a secret, Love. You will enjoy it, trust me." I knew she would. Alice assured me so. I couldn't wait for the night to end so we could be on our way. I wanted Bella to myself now. Instead, the other guests joined us, dancing happily. I removed myself from Bella reluctantly in order for her to enjoy herself with her friends. This would be her final time with them. That thought alone made me sad. Knowing I was taking this all away from her, just so she could be with me forever…how selfish!

_Oh, no you don't. Alice would have my head if she knew how you were feeling right now,_ Jasper shot at me from across the dance floor, holding a glass of wine. _Bella's a big girl and knows what she's doing. You need to trust her._

I narrowed my eyes at him and sighed in defeat. With a shrug, I walked over to my mother and asked for a dance. She obliged, commenting on how beautiful the ceremony was and how excited she was for our future as a family. The gleam in her eyes as she spoke, how it sparkled in the firelight while we danced, made me feel like a proper son for once. Renee badgered me for a dance also, and she berated me for not telling Bella about the honeymoon. I found myself laughing at her bubbly demeanor. She was flighty, as Bella had described to me before, but she did love her daughter very much.

When it came time for guests to leave, I gave Bella her space with them so she could give her silent farewells. I thanked the Denali coven again for making their appearances, wishing them safe travels back to Alaska and promising that sometime we would visit in the future. They said their goodbyes to Bella as they left, and it was soon just us and the wolves. I stayed at her side when she watched her father leave, noting her heartbeat fluttering and trembling skin. I was about to speak to her about it when Sam wheeled Billy towards us.

"Take care of Charlie for me, alright?" Bella lowered her eyes as she spoke to them.

"He'll be in good hands," Sam said. _Ours._

"He's been eyeing Sue a lot lately…maybe I'll try hooking those two up," Billy huffed. _Poor man will need someone with him when this lie hits._

"Really? That would be interesting to see…" Bella sounded bewildered.

"Take care of yourself, Bella," Billy warned, stealing a glance at me. _I still don't trust you fully, Bloodsucker. _Bella didn't even notice the sparring between us as she reached over and hugged Billy tightly.

"Thanks for everything, Billy. Make sure Charlie eats plenty, and tell him how much I love him so he doesn't get too sad all the time." Billy wrapped his arms around the young woman he so often felt was his adopted daughter.

"It's time to go," Sam said. _He's close._

I arched an eyebrow at Sam's peculiar thought as the two got into his truck. I snuck my arm around Bella's lower back as we watched them leave.

"Bella…it will be alright, I promise." I knew my words wouldn't take her pain away, but I prayed that they would at least sooth her.

Her voice was soft; lost. "I know." Lord, I hope I can make her happy.

_It reeks of leeches! It's beyond foul!_ My eyes widened as they darted across the street, to the source of the angering thought. _Bella probably looks amazing. Is that her over there? Oh great, he has his muggy hands all over her! Gross! Wow, she looks…_

A flash of my Bella nude appeared in my head. I stiffened immediately, holding back a hiss under my sharp intake of breath.

"What is it?" Of course Bella sensed my tension.

"Someone came late," I pushed through clenched teeth. Bella's mouth hung open as she recognized our visitor. He looked decent in his suit, but his hair was remarkably shorter. Like a clone of Sam. I scoffed quietly.

_She sees me. Now what do I do? Did I even have a plan? No. Of course not. I'm an idiot. I can't do this. I thought I could…but see her so…so fucking happy…happy with that leech…ugh…_

"He's too nervous to come to us," I said to Bella. I struggled to keep my anger at bay. No one should be talking about us like that on this day. The fact he was imagined _my_ wife's body fed into my temper. Bella left my hold, and I whimpered at the sudden loss of her heat. I kept in my spot, watching as she tried to confidently walk over to Jacob. I overheard their entire conversation, snorting when he took in every detail of her outfit. At one point he wondered what undergarments she had on, and I growled.

_God, hearing her say I'm like family stings. I was fucking stupid for thinking she'd go for me. I'm not scary-enough for her, apparently._ I held my hands at my sides. The demon inside me was screaming for his skin under my nails. His throat to be torn. No. This was Bella's battle. I wasn't going to interfere. It was hard when they embraced. Jacob's hands clung to her back a little too closely for my liking.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness…but please…please believe me when I say I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen…"

_Are you serious? She thought I meant that? Oh great, I'm such an ass! Why do I keep fucking everything up with her?_

A few minutes later, he pushed her off of him (to my relief) and gazed into her eyes deeply as they spoke.

"I was angry. And that came out without me thinking about it. If you haven't noticed, I got a temper. I didn't mean what I said. I wanted to apologize, but I was too pigheaded. When I ran off before, I started thinking about everything. About us. And I knew deep down that being with Edward will make you happy. I hate that you chose him, and I don't think I'll ever understand it, but I know it's what you want." _You make the worst decisions, Bells. You have no sense of self-preservation. It pisses me off so much. But…I can't make you love me like that. So I'll be the bigger man and suck it up. Not like I have much of a choice. _"But if he _ever_ hurts you in any way…" I caught his gaze above Bella's shoulder, and I got an image of him kissing her tenderly under the lamplight. I scowled. "Now, what does a guy have to do to get a dance with the bride?"

I was swallowing down venom so loudly, I missed the rest of their conversation. Before I realized it, Jacob was dragging Bella over towards me.

"Nice of you to make it," I said, harsher than I wanted. "What are you doing with my wife?" I couldn't help my bitter tone. The images he was sending me were going to send me off the deep end any second. As his arm draped around her neck, I got an image of him pulling off her veil seductively. He was trying my patience and he _knew_ it.

"Getting a dance. What? Is that not allowed?" _You must hate my ideas right now, eh, vamps? Bet I'm making your…well…you don't have blood…so that venom crap inside you boil? Ha. _I fought back my desire to tear at his grin by glancing at Bella, who looked concerned.

"No, it's fine, as long as Bella says it is," I replied. For once, I didn't want to make the decision. I didn't want to be blamed for anything. She did deserve some time with the dog, after all. Her eyes were pleading as she glared at me.

"Be gentle with me Jake, please?" Bella was in complete defeat as Jacob grinned and pulled her to the back of the house. I followed close behind, trying to keep enough distance as to not impede on them.

_Nice to see he made it,_ I heard Alice while she danced with Jasper. I leaned myself against the side of the house, watching the couple closely. _I wish I had seen it to warn you. Damn blank spots._

_She seems relaxed. I'm glad Jacob Black was able to come,_ Carlisle's thought came next.

_Calm down, Edward. They're both nervous enough as it is. Let them have their fun._

I shrugged.

When I heard Jacob's impeding thoughts over my siblings, I hissed.

_So this will be the last time I see Bella alive? God, I can't even comprehend that. What's he gonna do? Make her breakfast in bed one morning, and then let loose on her neck?_ An image of me ripping into her like I was a wild animal appeared, and if I could feel sick, I surely would have. Watching myself ravage her body like it was a piece of meat was horrifying and relentless. Jacob had been picturing this for a while.

_Oh no!_ Alice's mind screamed. A second later, I could smell them.

"Bella!" I cried, racing to her side and yanking her away from Jacob. He then noticed my panic, growling under his breath while the rest of my family joins us. I think Bella forgot to breathe.

"Unbelieveable." The insidious vampire appeared with a sly grin on her young face. Her twin stood beside her, looking at us cautiously before glaring at Jacob.

"I wonder how Aro would feel about this…"

"What are you doing here, Jane?" My voice was husky. Damn her brother's ability to cloud abilities! I could hear Alice mentally cursing at herself from our side. Jane ignored my question, instead turning her attention to Carlisle.

"Hello, Carlisle. It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Bella's entire body winced underneath my arms.

"Yes it has. You seem…healthy, Jane," he replied. _I don't trust this at all. What is her real reason for being here?_

"Same to you. I'm surprised you're allowing this. Aro will be _very_ interested to know what you've been up to."

"I'm sure he'd be more interested in your spying on us," Carlisle said coldly. Jane's eyes widened slightly at his comment. Then smiled.

"Oh, Carlisle, nothing gets past you, does it? It's nice to see that hasn't changed in all these years. I was told by Aro to keep an eye on you. To make sure you would follow through on your compromise." Her dark eyes focused on my wife with a puckered smirk. "You certainly look lovely for a bride."

"Too much white. I think red is much more her color," Alec added. I growled, pressing my fingers harder against Bella's arms and waist.

"Hmm, yes. I agree."

"But it is set. She will be turned!" Alice was frantic, in her voice and in her head. I was concentrating on the others so much that I had drowned out my family's thoughts. _They're going to ruin everything! But I can't see! Damnit, I can't see!_

"Well, seeing as things have developed, I don't think I can allow this to continue, for Aro's sake. He would be very upset if he knew you were still alive, as well as having relations with a mongrel." Jane's emphasis on mongrel made Jacob tense up immediately, and I could feel the anger radiate off of him.

_Who the hell does this bitch think she is? I'll snap that neck of hers in two seconds flat!_

"We won't let you interfere." Jasper's tone was darker; ready to fight.

"Yeah. You lay a claw on her head and we will rip you apart! She's one of us now!" _No one lays a hand on my new sister and gets away with it! _Emmett's face was twisted with fury. A very small, rational part of me felt relieved that my family cared for Bella so much. Rosalie touched his side to keep him calm.

"Is it time to play, sister?" Bella gasped when Alec exposed his fangs in a smile. Her thundering heart brought me fear that she may go into cardiac arrest.

"I believe so, Alec. But leave the human to me." In an instant, I moved to the corner of the patio. Emmett attacked first, along with Jasper, while Esme, Alice, and Rosalie formed a triangular barrier around me and Bella.

"Let me have her!" Jacob almost howled while he morphed, going after Jane with Carlisle at his side. _VAMPRIES! BLOODSUCKERS! BELLA IS IN TROUBLE!_ Jacob's wolf mind screamed loudly. I heard large footsteps echo in the trees nearby, and felt a pinch of relief when I realized that more of the pack was coming.

Everything was happening incredibly fast, even for me. I began to wonder how I could get Bella free. Away from here. If the others could get Jane and Alec distracted enough, I might be able to sneak away with Bella. On foot, I'd be able to get to Port Angeles or Seattle in a matter of a few hours…

I was brought back to my senses as Bella's shaking grew worse. Sweat was coating her forehead and upper arms. In the corner of my eye, I watched as Emmett and Jasper went after Alec.

"Edward, don't let her go," Alice hissed at my side. Alec's distraction somehow cleared enough of Alice's second sight so she could get a glimpse of the future, sending it to me at full blast. My lips became dry as I saw a flashing image: Bella screaming out in pain, covered in blood, Jane laughing in the night, and my own face, torn and devastated. _I don't know what this means, but you need to keep her at your side at all costs!_

"Insolent dog!" Jane's shriek pummeled me back into reality, and I saw Quill, Jacob, Sam, and Carlisle all going after her. The others were with Alec, trying their hardest to get to his neck. Emmett was thrown into the house, crashing through windows and wood. Rosalie was enraged, charging towards Alec without a thought.

"Rosalie!" _No! We need you!_ Esme was yelling.

Jane was able to compose herself enough to unleash her ability on Sam and Jacob, and Bella screamed underneath me at the sight. When Carlisle fell to the same fate, Bella began to fight against me. She was easy to restrain. Her safety was of the utmost importance to me. Didn't she understand that? I felt her nails going into my arms. Jacob and Sam were struggling hard against the pain; their minds frazzled and unable to make competent sentences.

_Pain…so….Emily…blood…._

_Bella…stop….must….bitch….so bad!_

Knowing full well what they were experiencing, I had to pull myself away from the draw of their minds. Carlisle attacked Jane, along with a few other wolves. Emmett snarled from behind us, mentally swearing at Jane for ruining his tux. He was off like a bullet towards Alec, rejoining Jasper's side.

_I know what you're thinking. I can't tell what the best option would be. The wolves may be able to hold them enough for you to get away. _

Alice was staring hard ahead of her, fighting through Alec's fog to see what I should do. I was starting to lose my nerve. Bella couldn't take much more. Her blood was pumping like adrenaline; her heart sounding as if it would burst through her fragile chest.

Then, it hit me, like a cement block. Blood. Fresh blood. My eyes followed the invisible scent trail and saw blood seeping down Quill's back leg. The hold on Bella tightened involuntarily, as she was the only thing stopping me from going into a complete frenzy. Sam was convulsing in the grass; Jacob was trying to rouse him with no result. He took off towards Jane.

"Damnit! This isn't fair!" Bella cried out against me, resuming her struggling.

"Bella, stop," I begged through strained teeth. The smell of wolf blood was making my mind go haywire, thinking of different ways to tear at the invaders, as well as getting to that blood and hoarding it for myself. No. I needed to care for Bella! Bella was my priority. I watched as Jane was flung across the clearing, colliding with some of the floral decorations and hitting a tree trunk.

"Sister!" Alec sounded worried, surprising me. Emmett and Jasper had him pinned. His gaze clouded over slightly, and I bit my lip.

_Oh no…he didn't… _Jacob suddenly flew away from Jane's body, smashing into the ground. "No…" Esme whispered.

_Shit!_ Rosalie hissed.

"What?" Bella asked frantically.

"He numbed her. She can no longer feel pain." Alice's voice cracked as she spoke. Jasper and Emmett fell to their knees, freeing Alec and holding their heads. It went like a wave over everyone else, and within seconds, all the other wolves, and Carlisle, were in agony. Their minds were frenzied, making my own want to explode.

"Jane, stop this!" I shouted. Jane glared at us with a hauntingly familiar expression on her face: lust. Rosalie jumped into the air after her, with Esme close behind. Carlisle managed to get to his feet, helping them distract Jane. When Esme fell to the ground, I heard Bella whimper.

"Isn't this fun, Alec? With your aid, I can concentrate enough to make all our little friends sing!" Jane was on cloud nine, laughing and bathing in her own victory.

_That's it. This is the only thing I can do,_ Alice thought before darting her eyes at me. "Edward, _don't_ let her go," she said, before scurrying off towards Alec. Both Jane and Alec watched her movements, temporarily distracted. Leaving me to get Bella away. I held onto Bella as I ran to the front of the house, hoping that they would be distracted long enough. I sensed Bella weakening when I got to the open garage. Running would be too risky.

My Volvo had a great speed, so I pulled out my keys for the car.

"E-Edward?" Bella was winded. I winced to myself, knowing my movements probably made her sick.

"I _will_ keep you safe, Bella," I said, knowing how dubious I sounded. I opened the driver's seat, and was about to shove Bella inside when I sensed Jane.

"Ah, ah, ah! I wouldn't do that!" Jane appeared in front of the house, illuminated by the trail lights. Like a demon.

Then, my eyes met with Bella's. The chocolate spirals were glazed with tears. She was beyond any normal measure of terrified. It was tearing me apart inside. I knew that I couldn't go with her at this point. Bella would need to leave on her own. My hands grabbed at her hips, shoving her hard into the car.

"Bella, get in the car and drive. Drive as fast as you can. Get out of here. Now!" I didn't want to sound so forceful, but she was in no mindset to listen to me otherwise. A second later, I was charging at Jane, grabbing her shoulders and shoving her downwards. I only needed to keep her away for a few minutes. Just enough time for Bella to pull out. I roared along with the engine, watching Jane's hungry face gleam underneath me from the car's light.

Bella, please get away from here, I thought to myself as venom pooled in my mouth from rage. The momentary distraction was not to my advantage, because Jane loosened under my grip and stood up, looking down at me with her evil stare.

Searing pain erupted in my head, and I screamed into the night with closed eyes, falling over myself and holding my head against the grass. It was brought on me in maximum capacity. Shocks were running down my spine and through my limbs. Endless throbbing of my brain made my eyes want to push through their sockets. I started to choke on my own venom.

Strawberries.

Fields of strawberries.

The strangest scent overcame my blistered senses, and I opened my eyes to see Bella thrown against the pavement; her arm was dripping fresh blood onto her dress. I heard her chest snap, most likely a few of her ribs, as Jane crawled on top of her.

"Bella!" I gurgled. My body was motionless. Something in her lower body snapped. Her leg? I watched helpless as Jane then wrapped her wretched little fingers along my beloved's throat, pulling her into the air with ease. Bella was crying out in pain, trying to fight back. I could barely move. Her blood was flowing freely down her fingers, coating Jane's. Before I made any other noise, Bella's body was thrust against the driveway, sliding on her side. Jane began to laugh wildly as she licked at the blood on her hands, watching Bella writhe with pure pleasure strewn across her face.

"You are truly pathetic. How could Aro want _you_ with us? What have you to offer? Nothing!" Bella's body was limp, but I saw her head move to her side, looking straight at me. I let go of my head and grabbed the ground, ignoring the soil that sunk under my nails. Using the weak amount of force I had left, I pushed upwards slowly. My teeth were bared; venom trickling from my fangs and melting the grass below.

"Don't, Jane!" I warned, losing control of my anger.

"I'll make both of you suffer. I will dispose of this human that you love so much, right in front of your eyes." I watched with horror as she returned to Bella's side. I saw the puddle of crimson blood underneath Bella, and her rapid, but weakening heartbeat.

"Bella!"

Bella's eyes were still on me. My angel smiled at me weakly. She _smiled._ Jane hunched over Bella's body, grinning.

"Bella. What an interesting name for a human. I, for one, fail to see the beauty in you," she spoke softly while grabbing at Bella's arm, crushing the bones like they were thin splinters.

"Bella? NO!" The roar of Jacob Black carried from behind me. Bella recognized his voice, calling out to him through her anguish. Jane proceeded to press along Bella's chest, breaking her ribs one by one. I growled while getting on my knees. I _knew_ that pain! Bella shouldn't feel it. Someone painfully hot grasped my arm, pulling me upwards. I saw Jacob's distraught face, silently thanking him for his help. Bella's screams turned our attention back to them, and I shoved Jacob in front of me.

"BELLA!" I screamed when I saw her beginning to convulse; her heart unable to take the stress. Jacob snarled as his large hands grappled Jane, tossing her off of Bella. Jasper and Rosalie dashed over to him, holding Jane back. I rushed over to Bella, finding it hard to think as her blood invaded my entire being. There was so much…

Too much!

Alice as at my side, looking Bella over with dread in her eyes. "She's losing so much blood!"

"CARLISLE!" I screamed for my father, before looking back at Alice. "Alice, what can we do?" My voice was shaking as much as Bella's body. Carlisle appeared, slumping to his knees and looking over Bella's injuries.

"This is bad…very bad…she's bleeding out…"

"You have to change her!' I gawked at Alice.

"No! It's not her time yet! Not like this…" Alice grabbed my hand firmly.

"Carlisle! Tell him!" _This is what I saw! I saw her dying! _

Carlisle looked at me hard. It was a familiar glance; like he was in surgery at the hospital.

"Edward…there isn't much time." _She's losing blood too quickly. There's no other way._

"I've seen it, Edward! If you don't do it now, she will die!"

"Bella? Bella! Oh no!" Esme suddenly appeared, running a hand along Bella's thrashing forehead. _She's so weak!_

_There's only minutes left, Edward. _"You have to change her now, while there's enough blood coursing through her." Carlisle took deep breaths.

"She has only minutes left Edward! Oh Bella…" _So much blood…so much pain…my daughter…_

I was frazzled with conflict. Seeing Bella in so much pain agonized me. This wasn't how I wanted it. It wasn't supposed to be this way! What if I take too much? I wasn't as sensitive to Bella's blood, but my frenzy…her blood everywhere…

_You can do it, Edward. I'll watch over you,_ Alice reassured me. "Go help the others!" She turned to Carlisle and Esme. "I'll stay with them!" They nodded to me, telling me that they believed in me, before rushing off to deal with Alec, who was now on the scene. Ignoring her pain, I clutched at her body as I pulled her close to mine. I lowered my face over Bella's, looking deep in her lost eyes. Hoping that she could somehow hear me in the darkness she was falling into.

"Bella…love…I'll take the pain away. Please…please stay with me…" I wanted to sob as I lightly grazed at her throbbing neck. Her skin was shivering, yet absolutely delicious as I bit down. Her body thrashed harder, and Alice held her down to help as I drank her in, feeling her pain as it coursed through me. I let the venom seep into her. It was so delicious, just like I remembered. So sweet. Home.

_It's not going to be enough. Get her other pressure points!_ Alice insisted, dragging me from the beginnings of my demonic trance. Letting go of her neck, I brought up her wrists, kissing the skin gently before pressing them at my lips. I bit each one as Alice tore into Bella's gown. "Now for her heart. You'll have to bite right above it." I looked at her in surprise, my rational brain wondering how she knew so much about the change. "Carlisle explained it to me before. Don't look at me like that! Save your wife!" She exposed the paling flesh to me, and without another thought, I kissed along the curve of her breast, whispering my unbridled love for her against the scorching skin.

She screamed when I bit down. It was hoarse. Muffled, entrancing music to my ears. My body grew revitalized as she flowed through me like a river of life.

_Edward, stop. That's enough, Son._ I heard the voice of Carlisle and reluctantly drew back, seeing him touch my shoulder and the back of Bella's head. I was shrouded in my own bloodlust and agony, that I had completely ignored the world around me.

A strange scent invaded my nostrils, and I saw smoke billowing behind the trees.

"We need to get Bella inside, Edward," Carlisle said calmly. "The others can take care of the rest. Come." He pulled my shoulder, so I slowly stood up with a shuddering Bella in my arms. The burning had just begun, so this would be the best time to move her; before it would completely consume her body. I followed Carlisle into the house, to my bedroom. I placed Bella on my bed, refusing to leave her side as Carlisle examined her. "It's making its way through her nervous system. I think it will work just fine. You did a good job, Edward." His eyes met mine for a moment before Alice pounced into the room.

"It will be perfect. I see her waking up in 76 hours." _She will be drop dead gorgeous, too!_

"Wait…you see that?" I couldn't wrap my head around what she just told me. "Does that mean…?"

"Alec was taken care of," Carlisle said. I sighed, still struggling to calm down my lust.

"Jane got away," Alice said with a frown. "Slipped right through our fingers. I don't see anything happening soon; her decisions are all over the map."

"That's good. Alice, could you watch Bella for me while I check on the others? I'm sure the wolves need some help as well." Carlisle excused himself quickly, leaving me distraught and in shock over what I had just done. Alice rubbed my back soothingly.

"Edward, I feel like a broken record at this point, but you did do the right thing. You saved her just in time."

Bella was sobbing, shaking like she had been electrocuted. Her body was battered and broken; the remnants of her blood soaking through my sheets. "Perhaps you should leave for a while. I can clean her up and rid her of the blood. I can sense it bothering you." _It does smell really good._ Her thought bounced off of me as I stared at the demented face of my Bella.

"Bella…" I whispered, wanting desperately for her to be alright. I vaguely understood what Alice was saying. I knew that if I didn't bite her, she would not have survived. But that didn't register in my mind. Only one, all-encompassing, thoroughly-consuming fact did:

I just killed my wife.

It was hard to listen to Alice. At first, I refused to leave Bella's side. It took her and Esme to get me to leave. Emmett had to physically drag me out of the room. Jasper used his ability to calm down my influx of emotions, allowing me enough focus to shower in Bella's bathroom. Carlisle suggested that I go and hunt for a while, to separate myself from Bella as well as to feed into the thirst that was gnawing at my throat. Emmett and Rosalie went with me, recounting in great length his victory over Alec. Rosalie seemed relatively upset. Her mind revealed to me that seeing Bella that way reminded her of how she had died. I couldn't imagine how that traumatized her.

I stayed away for what felt like twenty lifetimes, when it was only a day in reality. Carlisle recommended that I stay away for the first leg of the change, when Bella would be thrashing and screaming in pain the most. She would then fall into a coma-like state, before erupting with the last of her pain and life as her heart would finally stop.

When I returned to Bella's side, she looked infinitely better. Alice had stripped her of the wedding gown (which upset me a bit because I should have been the one who had that privilege) and replaced it with a simple blue gown. She assured me that it would look amazing against her ivory skin, once it came to that point. Bella was calm now, looking almost as if she was sleeping; lost in pleasant dreams. Alice did a brilliant job of washing her up. Her hair began to obtain a lustrous sheen as it cradled her head on my pillow. The lips that I longed to caress with my own were paler, but seemed to plump up. I noticed through the slit of the gown that the scarring from Caius's assault was disappearing. It brought a small smile to my face. Bella was going to appreciate that.

Her heart was racing, yet one would not notice that if they looked at her. She seemed completely relaxed. I remembered my change, the pulling and splitting of my body as is burned in the venomous flames. I hoped she wasn't going to be in so much pain that her body gave out. That wouldn't happen. Couldn't happen. Bella was the strongest human I ever met. She was going to make it through.

_Edward, are you alright? _Esme's mind wondered as I glanced over to her as she sat at the opposite end of the bed.

"I think so, Esme." I yanked through some of my hair and sighed, sitting at a chair that had been pulled over to my end. "She seems so peaceful. What a lie," I observed, looking back down at Bella's face.

"I know. But can't you see the change in her already? She's going to be simply radiant when she wakes." Her kind words melted away my inner tension. _My beautiful daughter. I cannot wait to meet you. I wonder what she will be like. _ "Alice says that Bella's immediate future is foggy."

"Hm. I wonder why that is?" I asked aloud, thinking.

"It's because she'll be a newborn, silly!" Alice chirped as she walked in with a smile. Her small frame leaned against the bed, her eyes surveying Bella before resting on me. "Her decisions will be spontaneous, so I can't tell what she will do when she wakes up. So many surprises await us with her! Heehee…" She giggled strangely, and began reciting a hymn in her mind to block me out.

"Alice, what are you hiding?" Esme asked while I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, nothing much. I just don't want to ruin this experience, is all." Her smile broadened. "Oh, Edward, Carlisle wants you to go see him when he returns from work. A few things arrived for your cottage."

Oh. I had forgotten about that.

The cottage. Our cottage.

_Our home_.

There was still so much to assemble in that small house before Bella awoke! I watched her breathe quietly, running a hand slowly through a few strands of her hair that lay over her shoulder.

"I'm right here, Bella," I sighed.

"Alice, would you mind helping me downstairs? I want to get some things together for their house," Esme said. _We'll leave you some privacy. _I nodded my thanks as the two left.

"Bella…" I whispered softly, struggling to find the words I wanted to say. "I know that you may not be able to hear me, but I want you to know that I'm with you. I cannot bear seeing you gone from me like this. It's like you've taken half my self away with you. I love you with all my heart." My hand slid down her bare shoulder, to her arm, feeling the muscle strengthening underneath my fingers. "I'm so sorry that it happened this way. I wanted you to be happy. Safe in my arms. Unafraid….God…I'm terrible at this…" I threw my head down and tugged at my hair with my free hand. "Please forgive me, Love. I wanted this differently. I wanted your wedding day to be special."

The hand touching her skin came over her trembling fingers. "I promise to spend eternity making this up to you." Slowly, my head went back up and I stared at her serene face. "You have so many people here who love you. Esme is beside herself over meeting you again. Emmett wants to wrestle you. Alice can't wait to dress you up. Rosalie has even warmed up to your homecoming." Her fingers flexed back and forth. The temperature of her body was lowering subtly. "Jasper is looking forward to training you."

She wouldn't be breakable anymore, would she? My impeccable need to protect her will soon be unfounded. My Bella was going to learn how to fend for herself, even though she was generally capable of that as a human. Would her ability be as powerful as Eleazar said? Maybe I'd finally be able to fathom what went on in her mind.

Would she shy away from me when she awoke? Would she be angry with me? Blame me for ruining her wedding? Would she finally come to her senses and realize how much of a monster I was? I knew if that happened, I'd be unable to take it. Bella was my mate. My life.

I remembered how Carlisle predicted that our safety was still questionable due to the fight. We would have to discuss our plans once Bella was awake. I pushed away those thoughts, refocusing on the lovely creature that lay before me.

I was like that for hours, watching over her as her body continued to change. Her muscle tone became defined. Her stomach flattened; any human fat cells becoming eradicated inside. The creamy look of her skin had faded away now, leaving a slight hue that was barely noticeable. When Carlisle came home, we had a discussion with Jasper about how to handle Bella when she first woke up; that I wanted to be the first to hunt with her. The idea of seeing her feed made me nimble and uneasy. I disliked the image, hating myself for so long from doing it. Afterwards, I took the belongings that were delivered, along with what Esme and Alice prepared, to the cottage. I set up the bookshelf downstairs with all of Bella's favorites. Esme already stocked the kitchen with human food, surprising me. But as I thought about it, Bella would eventually get to a point in her newborn like that she could invite Jacob over, and he ate like…well…a wolf. I took my time placing the photographs that Bella brought from her house before wedding along the fireplace in our new bedroom, thinking fondly of her parents and friends. They were going to miss her immensely.

Alice visited me some time later at the cottage, helping me with making the bed. She informed me that Bella would be waking very soon (fourteen minutes and forty three seconds to be exact), so we made haste back to my bedroom. Carlisle was watching Bella intently as she seemed to be having a nightmare. This was the most crucial time for the change. If her heart didn't stop at the right time, from the right amount of venom, all would be lost. Her mouth was wide open, trying to scream out. I heard her heart surge, making me rush to her side. "Bella…" I said.

"Oh, my! Not long now!" Alice was beaming.

"Bella…God, I hope I wasn't too late…" I watched with hurtful eyes as Bella twisted against my sheets.

"You were fine, Edward. It's working like it should. She will pull through," Carlisle reassured me with closed eyes. _She's much stronger than Rosalie was. Her heart is incredible. _He was listening to her heart as it fought for survival.

"She will be perfect in every way," Alice stated. "Oh, that reminds me! I wanted to bring her something!" _Silly me! _She disappeared from the room like a hurricane.

"My Bella already was," I replied, pressing my lips tightly. The last of her change was coming into fruition; her skin now as pale as mine, any markings from the brutal attack at the wedding or any scars for that matter, completely vanished. Through her pain, she was glowing.

"She is so beautiful…" I gasped.

"Come back to us, Bella," Carlisle said. I lowered my face to Bella's twitching face and nestled my head at her ear for a quick second.

"My love, please wake up."

"It's almost over. Just a little more," Carlisle said as I heard Bella's heart sound like a jackhammer. _I think it would be best if she first saw you when she wakes. Having the rest of the family in here may frighten her._ He strolled by me, patting my back and leaving me.

Her heart then thrust only a handful of times, slowly fizzling away into silence. There was a figurative gasp inhaled in the room as Bella stilled.

"Bella? Can you hear me, Love?"

Her eyes fluttered open; no longer the spirals of chocolate brown that I daydreamed about. They were now a vivid shade of scarlet. They were moving abruptly, alert, scanning the area around us.

"Edward?" Bella gasped as her voice sang. It was always lovely to my ears; the change only tuned it better. Unable to hold back anymore, I grabbed my wife and crushed her to my chest, feeling relief, happiness, and love flow through me. Her flesh was my temperature now, and even though I knew I would miss her heat, I loved that I could relish in not burning. I guess she noticed the difference, too. As she ran her fingers along my forearms she whispered, "Edward…you…you're _warm_?" I laughed gingerly at her realization.

I felt like everything was right with the world as she held onto me. My hands ran upwards, running through the incredibly softer locks of her cascading hair. Then, her strength increased, causing me to lose my breath.

"Bella…too tight…" I strained to say. In a rush, she pushed herself away and backed into the wall behind my bed. Her face was twisted in shock. My arms and chest felt slightly sore, and I rubbed them as Alice joined us.

"Hello, Bella! Glad to see you're finally awake!" _Wow, she's awesome, isn't she?_ My pixie of a sister was holding an array of sunflowers, setting them on my nightstand before turning to me with a smirk on her face. "Stronger than you expected, huh?"

"I told you not to underestimate her," Jasper commented with his drawl thickening his words. "She's one powerful newborn." _Can't wait to see what she's capable of. It's been such a long time._

_Seems safe enough for us to enter,_ Carlisle thought as he walked in with Esme at his side. "Hello, Bella." Esme stayed in her place, eyeing Bella with adoration.

"Oh, Dear…you look absolutely marvelous!" She exclaimed. A part of me expected to hear Bella's heart racing from the compliment, or to at least see her face flush. But it didn't come. That was going to be something I'd terribly miss. _She's perfection, Edward!_ I turned to Bella, watching her as she examined herself for the first time, taking in her change of outfit and new skin. I focused on her mind, hoping I would get something.

…_and even my toes look cool._

I arched an eyebrow when I heard a partial thought. Her mind was still strangely blocked, disappointing me. At least it didn't hurt to concentrate on her.

"How do you feel?" Carlisle asked professionally as he came to her side. _It's amazing how remarkably calm she is. Newborns aren't usually so collected._ Bella's hands felt her chest while her eyes looked deep in thought.

"Thirsty…" She whispered as her fingers traced along her neck. "So thirsty."

"That's to be expected. You're going to be very thirsty for a while. You'll need to learn how to control that." _Good, she's feeling normal. I don't want to jump the gun on this, though. Best to let her concentrate on her other new senses, first. _"How else do you feel?"

"I feel…connected. To everything." Bella looked cute while she looked around us in a daze; her lips pouting outwards while she thought about what to say. Her lashes were distracting me as I held her hand. "I can hear the rain. Hear it for miles. I can hear the waves of the water in La Push. The static on the television sets in town. I can smell the fertilizer from here. And…" Her voice grew to a halt, worrying me. I squeezed her hand and turned to Carlisle, furrowing my brow.

"Perhaps I should help her hunt before we go any further Carlisle. She already seems too calm. I don't want her to-" With a jolt, I was cut off by Bella's incredible force as she shoved herself off the bed and took off like a bolt of lightning into the hallway.

_You need to stop her, Edward! She can't control herself!_ Alice looked frantic as I stared off like a buffoon in Bella's wake. There was a sudden crash, and I heard wood cracking downstairs.

"What's going on?" Emmett growled from his bedroom above us.

"Go after her, Edward!" Carlisle demanded. I shook my head, ridding myself of the daze, and ran as fast as my legs out carry me to Bella. She was standing outside in the rain, looking around for the source of the blood. Her body was stuff, but slowly lowering into a lunging position. She reminded me of a lion; and that frightened me.

_Fresh, pulsating, warm…_ It didn't take much for me to hear her shrieking thoughts.

"Bella!" I cried, hoping my voice would slip through the cracks of her instincts. I immediately wove my hand around hers. "Bella. Look at me." Her hair moved with eloquence as she turned her head, staring at me with a lustful rage behind her bright red eyes. I didn't want to upset her further; knowing full well that she could crush me if she so desired without contemplation. "I know how you feel. Let me help you. Teach you how to hunt. You don't want to go too overboard…" Bella would never forgive herself if she lost it with a human. Her eyes were searching for something in mine. Their rapid movements slowed as she regained her composure, sighing and squeezing my hand.

"Right," she replied shakily. I considered what to teach her first, dawning on the simplest technique. One Carlisle taught me when I first changed.

"You need to focus specifically on what you want to go after. I'm sure you can sense all the living creatures, right?" Bella stared at me blankly for a moment before sniffing the air.

"Mhm."

"Good. Now you can tell the difference between human and animal, yes?" Her eyes darkened as her focus shifted. Then they closed. This was going to be difficult with her aggravated throat.

"Yes," she said finally. I felt the muscles flex in her hand.

"Great. Your instincts have already kicked in. Now, you need to focus on the animal blood near us. What do you sense?" Her breathing was very slow. My own was quiet, and I knew that there were some deer nearby.

"Two bucks. They're drinking in the creek by our meadow." I was impressed with how quickly she was catching on to her instincts. The detail of their placement was magnificent. It made me smile.

When her eyes fluttered back open, they were very dark, almost obsidian from her bloodlust. She drew in a sharp breath. I could tell by the intensity of her glare into the forest that she was at odds within herself about her next move.

"Take it slow, Bella. We'll do this together."

"Edward," she said with awe while turning to me. "Can you read my mind now?"

"No. Your mind is as filled with static as before. But it takes a little less concentration from me to look at glimpses." It was hard hiding my dulling smile. Why was her mind still secluded from me? Perhaps her ability had something to do with it.

There were snapping twigs in the distance, and Bella's body warped into solid stone as her eyes bulged.

"Let's go." Her voice was laced with thirst as we took off; her grasp firm around my hand. Actually, it was painful. If she didn't watch it, she could crush it. Luckily for my hand, she had other things on her mind. As we made our way past the meadow, I sensed her growing anxious. The two bucks were close now, innocently lapping up water. I broke from her hold and slid over to a tree, hoping she would do the same. Peering over, I saw her elegant form clinging to the bark; her dress soaked through from the cool rain. Her drenched hair stuck over her face as her eyes surveyed our prey. She was still beautiful. Her movements were slick, silent, and graceful as she let her basic instincts take over. The animals sensed our presence, stiffening and looking around for the source.

I flashed a reassuring smile when she glanced over at me with a bought of uncertainty in her face. Then, I watched her dress fly into the air as she attacked the larger buck. I followed in her stead, going after the other animal before it got any footing. My meal was refreshing as I let my bloodlust overrun my senses. When I finished, I noticed that Bella was half-submerged in the creek, sucking the buck dry. I was briefly horrified when I saw blood running down her neck, drizzling into her gown. Her hands were ripping at the animal, clawing through its muscle and bone to get more. Seeing Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett hunt as newborns desensitized me over the years. But seeing _my_ Bella look like a ravenous beast while mutilating a deer struck a chord deep inside me. Was that how I looked when I showed this to her?

The first thought that popped in my head was that I had created another monster. Would Bella forgive me when her mind went back to normal? Would she hate what she has become? There was something else happening inside of me while I watched her let go of her humanity. It was almost elegant; how she moved. Her movements were calculated, graceful. My worries began to shy away as a new wave of admiration took hold. She was powerful. Independent. At one point, I focused myself on her mind, and caught wind of her thanking the animal for supplying her meal. My lips fell apart. She was _thanking_ her prey?

"_But even if I were to change, I would still be Bella, wouldn't I?"_

"_You will always be my Bella."_

The words we had exchanged in Phoenix resurfaced as I watched Bella set down the empty corpse into the water. I had meant them when I said them. Even back then, when the thought of changing her meant the end of the world for me, I knew that she would never be different to me. I would always love her. That's what mattered. As I thought about it, she had told me the same thing previously. That I was always Edward to her, no one, or nothing else.

Her body slumped in the water as she stared downwards. I heard a gasp come from her, and I approached her. A swelling of love and acceptance filled my chest while the rain puttered into silence. Leaning over her, I wrapped my arms around her torso and pulled her into me. She was desperately trying to wash away the blood, which I could understand.

Thunder was reverberating among the trees around us. Although only seconds were passing by, I felt like I was holding my love in my arms for days. I lazily looked into the calming water, watching our reflection. Her scent was different, which saddened me. No longer did I smell the salivating sweetness of her human blood. Only minimal traces were left in her system. There was a hint of strawberries, but that came mostly from her body wash, so I knew that scent would be replaced after a shower. There was another smell. A musky fragrance of pine and mint. It was alluring. The two of us looked like a dream in that water; staring back with disbelief and love. I knew in that moment that I would have Bella at my side forever. Her changes existed, yet my words rang true in my mind.

She would always and forever be my Bella.


	9. Unbreakable

**Author's Note:** Ah, time for another mini-chapter. I didn't want to rewrite the entire battle sequence, but I knew people wanted to know how Edward felt while he was being dismembered, so I focused solely on that. This coincides with that part of chapter 58 in _Starlight Vows_. Only one more chapter to go! I hope you're all excited. Thanks for sticking with me this long! Please leave reviews and your feedback, I appreciate every one I get. Enjoy!

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><p>Death is subjective when you're a vampire like me. It's only a notion; a human fear of what lies beyond. That means we can sustain our existence through extreme circumstances. These circumstances stretch out far beyond the realm of human possibility. I have lived through many of these the most painful while imprisoned in Volterra. Devastation is an understatement in terms of what they had done to my body.<p>

Having such done to me in private was one thing. I was alone to my own horror, disgust, shame. It's another to watch the horror in my lover's eyes as my body is torn like paper. Seeing myself come apart in her brilliant scarlet eyes…

Knowing that she will never get that out of her head, for all eternity.

I watched myself slowly dying in her eyes. It is far worse than any human's deathly fear.

"…I have a proposition for you, little one. It will go like this: if you can reach your loving husband before Athenodora can completely separate him, you will win. We will end this fight and leave you in peace."

Immediately I saw Aro's intentions. He wanted to play with Bella. See how far she could push her limits as a vampire. And I was his bait.

"What? No!" I screamed, yet my voice was quiet. Athenodora's hold was binding, preventing me from moving as her hands squeezed around my neck and torso.

"Aro! Please stop!" _Don't do this to us!_ My father's own strained voice flew through the air. I could distinct the fear in his voice. The sadness.

"Edward!" Esme sounded like a mother then. She had lost a child in her human life. Was that how she cried out her baby's name? I wondered in a millisecond if that was how my mother sounded when she begged Carlisle to save me back in 1918. _Don't kill my son!_ Hmm.

I groaned in response to my parents, and then was abruptly silenced by the increased pressure brought onto my skin from Athenodora.

"Shhh…" she whispered against my earlobe, licking the soft flesh and smiling. _This will be very much fun, I think._

"And if I lose?" Bella's voice was strong. Guarded. My eyes fell onto her, admiring her stance as she stared at Aro. She was torn and exhausted. But the resolves in her eyes was striking. A battle angel. I wanted nothing more than to get to her side and help her. But I knew that this was going to be her test. I was confident that she would pass.

"If you lose, you will come with me, along with Edward, Jasper, and Alice. Dwindling down my guard numbers requires some new faces, don't you think?" _You'll make fine additions. Too bad it won't be voluntary. But I am sure that when you taste the delectable blood of humans, you will change your minds and realize what you have been missing._ I hissed at his mention of human blood.

With a quick nod, the remaining guard members took hold of my family, keeping them back to watch this game along with Aro and the other elders. Bella didn't falter. Her demeanor was poised. Even when coated in dirt and venom, she was the epitome of beauty. She licked her lips delicately, squinting slightly.

"What's the catch, Aro?"

"You have to get through. That's all." _It will not be an easy feat, my dear. Let us see what you can do. _"Shall we begin?" Bella dropped her gaze from Aro to me and I saw her eyebrows furrow while her hands turned into tight fists.

…_I'm going to win…I love you…_ My face grew long as I heard her voice in my head. I believed her. While Athenodora's hand slid around my arm, I smiled.

The pain felt when your limb is detached from your body is something only a small number of humans have had to experience. Many have the lucky opportunity to have medications to numb the sensations during surgeries. The only comparison I can use is for men of war; those who do not have those luxuries, and are left limbless due to gunfire or bombings. The pain crawls through the rest of your body, like a searing web shooting across every cell and atom. For vampires, the pain is amplified due to our heightened senses. I had experienced this in Volterra because Felix loved to do it to me. But like I said before, this is different. Bella was watching it happen to me. This was something I never wanted her to see.

Seeing me utterly vulnerable.

I screamed sparingly over Athenodora's laughter, feeling the skin around my shoulder crumble like stone as she ripped my appendage off. I felt the venom pour out of my fresh wound, running down like water over my clothes. My arm was flung to the grass beside me, and I instantly grieved the loss. In front of me, I saw Bella blur into action, sprinting at high speed in my direction. Sulfur filled the air around us, and I involuntarily ignored the urgent thoughts of my siblings when I saw flames sprout around Bella's legs.

"Bella!" Alice screamed. I saw a flash of Bella falling into the ground, losing to the fire consuming her. Cooking her. I growled, trying desperately to cry out to Bella. Athenodora's hold loosened around my neck as her two hands grasped my wrist and forearm, laughing hysterically. I heard the snapping sounds of my skin splitting, and before I could make any coherent noise, my other arm was away from my body. Pain ravaged my being, sending me into a frenzy of pain and anger.

"Oh, God! Stop this!" _My children! Stop hurting my children!_ Esme screamed in her own fit of hysteria. My eyes flickered over to her, watching her fidget against one of the guards as they held her arms at her back.

_She's slowing down..._someone nearby thought. I think it was Jacob, but my mind was too overly stimulated with sparks of pain to identify it. I turned my head back to Bella, watching as her midsection burned. Yet, her form was absolutely magnificent! Her face was stoic as she ran. I saw the undeterred rage in her eyes, making me feel hopeful that she would win.

_Such determination…_"Interesting," Aro commented, sounding almost bored. Someone pushed me hard, and my knees hit the ground with a thud. Athenodora was giggling as her fingers pulled off what remained of my shoes and socks.

_Bella! Please! Hurry!_ Alice's mind raced within mine. I hoped that if I kept watching her, our gaze would hold us together like it had done so many times before. Her hair was flying in the air, as if each strand was its own wing. Athenodora took her time now, snapping my toes off like they were the heads of dandelions.

_My turn!_ Someone else exclaimed, and the ground rumbled underneath Bella's footing. Heidi must've been at work, seeing as the ground erupted with additional fire. It was then that I noticed her clothing disintegrating, as well as bits of her skin. Marcus!

I screamed out, feeling my feet separate from my calves. It stung its way through my legs, up my hips and in my stomach.

Then the high-pitched shrieks of Sulpicia took over the clearing, making all of us whimper in pain as the sounds of her voice vibrated fervently in our ears. I wanted to collapse, but seeing Bella fighting everything with so much grace gave me the strength I needed. She was going through far worse than I in these moments. I needed to be strong like her. I heard Sulpicia gasp as she collided into Aro's thin chest.

_Impossible!_ Aro's mind cried. _This is incredible! SHE is incredible._

_She won't take much more,_ Alice warned. I bit down hard on my trembling lower lip as Bella slowed her pace; the flames fondling her chest and arms. Her rupturing body gave way, falling into the cool grass. I screamed out as Athenodora took this opportunity to rip away my lower legs and kneecaps.

"Be…lla!" The pain was stealing my voice. She was so close to me! Now her body was rolling slightly in the ground as the flames slowly died. Her eyes were glazed over and dark as she stared at me, looking remorseful. That look was easily readable: she felt she was failing me.

Oh Bella, if only!

"Damnit! LET ME GO!" _You assholes! Let me the fuck out of here! I'm gonna smash your fucking heads in!_ Emmett's colorful language rang true in my head, fueling my own frustrations through the agony coursing through my undead veins.

"Is this the end, my dear? How sad," Aro sighed. _What a disappointment. She seemed to have such promise…_

The sugary sweet aroma of my venom mixed with the nearby wolf blood began to make my head spin. I watched Bella struggle to get back on her feet, coughing spurts of venom like saliva out into the grass below her.

_It's our time now!_ I heard a male cry out mentally. _Come on guys, we need to help them out!_ A loud howling filled my ears, making me smile crookedly. Another howl joined in, irritating the Volturi members around me.

"What is going on?" Demitri cried out, voicing the confusion and sudden fear I sensed from the others. Fur flew across my sight as the wolves descended upon the guards, distracting them enough to let go of my family. Athenodora's hold on me disappeared, and I fell downwards, catching Jacob's black eyes briefly before hitting the ground at my side.

Through the blades of grass, I saw her. My wife's fingers were slithering through the maze of green, inching towards me with everything she had. Her piercing eyes filled my chest with admiration. Bella was stronger than I ever imagined. She was fighting for me. For us.

"Stop those dogs!" Caius snarled above. Aro hissed but stood his ground. _This is outrageous! Like a circus!_

_Im…impossible. How can she still be mobile?_ Aro was in shock as I sensed him watch my Bella crawling through the soil with determination in her dirty, venom-crusted face. I didn't see fear in her eyes, like I thought I would. All I could absorb was love swimming along hope.

_Golden pools…_I heard her sweet voice think. I smiled when I felt myself move towards her. She was using the last of her energy to get my broken body closer to her.

Her hand stretched forth; her cool fingers grazing along my cheekbone. In that gentle touch, I felt all her love for me electrocute through the agony my body was enduring. It sliced through everything, the pain, the anger, the fear, the sadness. We were close enough now that I counted the creases in her beautiful lips, desiring to encase them with my own.

"Edward…" Bella's voice shook simultaneously with my body. Her tone was haggard; reflecting her weak state. But it was not my name that I heard.

Instead, I heard "I did it".


	10. Hand In Hand We Tread

**Author's Note:** So here is the final chapter! My god, this has been quite the journey, hasn't it? This story (combined with _Starlight Vows_) has taken over my life for 7 months, and it has been one hell of a ride. I love that so many readers have enjoyed my work, and appreciate your continual support and feedback. This section coincides with Chapter 60 of _Starlight Vows_. I wanted to fill in more of their little honeymoon, as well as Edward's thoughts on everything to this point. I'm a little sad to know that this is over. Thanks for sticking with me this long!

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><p>Her skin sparkled like freshly-cut diamonds under the warm rays of the sun. The water that ran down her exposed body kept my own in check while I watched her walk across the sand, running a hand through her soaking wet hair and sighing contently. Seeing her so relaxed made my heart swell. The redness of her irises was fading, with speckles of amber appearing around her pupils. The golden band that hugged her finger glimmered when it passed her cheek along with her hand. A gasp caught in my throat when she turned her head away from the ocean. Her perfect lips curved into a brilliant smile as she noticed me watching her from the back porch of the beach house we were staying in. She was every bit as beautiful as the first day I met her in that classroom.<p>

It was the middle of August; a time of extended daylight, children playing in backyards, runny ice cream cones, water parks, and cookouts. For me, the summer was never that enlightening. It was usually warmer, sunnier, and crowded with humans. But as I watched my wife walk towards me in her black, seductive bikini, with the smile that always melted my forever frozen heart, I knew that this summer was different.

"Are you spying on me, Sir?" My angel's voice was coy as she arched an eyebrow. I played along, removing my resting arms from the wood fencing and standing back with a sly look on my face.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to offend you, Miss." I used my best innocent tone. She grinned slightly, walking up the steps. Her hand tugged at her hair, moving it over her bare shoulder. I licked my lips. "But you are quite alluring."

"Hmm, I'm not sure what to think of that, but thank you," she replied, eyeing me cautiously. She grabbed the towel that hung over the fence, wrapping it delicately around her slender waist. A low growl urged to come through me; I didn't want her skin hidden from me. "What brings you out here on a beautiful day like this?" she asked while leaning against one of the poles behind her.

"The scenery is exotic this time of year. I enjoy seeing the reflection of the sky in the water. Very soothing, don't you think?" I gazed out into the distance, curious to see where this little role play would lead us.

"Hm. Yes, I agree." I snapped my head back to look at her, glancing down to her hand to admire her rings.

"You have very beautiful rings on your hand. Forgive me if I am being too forward, Miss, but are you married?" I couldn't help but grin as she looked at her hand for an instant.

"I am," she sighed, looking away from me with a sullen expression. I wondered if she was still pretending, or if I upset her somehow.

"Why the long face? It doesn't belong on one that is as marvelous as yours." Fighting the urge to scoop her into my arms, I stuck my hands in my slack pockets.

"He hasn't paid much attention to me this vacation. This is _supposed_ to be my honeymoon. And he has left me alone for most of it." Oh, this is the angle she's going with? Hm, I like it. She arched her back towards me while leaning similarly to how I was just moments before.

"Well, I think any man who can ignore an angel such as you is a fool," I said softly, approaching her side. "He doesn't deserve your company."

"Mm…" Her lips pursed as if she was in deep thought. The towel dangled around her thighs, teasing me as I desperately fought to keep my hands away from her. "Are you implying that he is a bad choice of husband, then?" Her slick tone made my body tingle. I stifled a chuckle and leaned my back against the wood, watching her closely as she turned her head to look at me.

"Well I cannot dictate your choices, because you seem to be a very well-rounded, intelligent woman. But if I were your husband, I would spoil you with all the love of affection that I could muster from my being. And that still would not be enough. Plus, I certainly wouldn't leave you alone, where strange men could steal you from me." Her eyes twinkled with lust and she smiled sweetly.

"I don't find you strange, Sir. Not at all," she said. "Quite the opposite, actually." Some drops of water spilled onto the wood from around her chin.

"Thank you. That is very nice of you to say," I replied with a warm smile.

"I don't mean to trouble you with my newlywed woes. That's silly of me to do with a stranger," she sighed, looking back out to the ocean.

"Miss, I don't mind. You seem distraught. I wish that I could do something to cheer you up," I tried to sound concerned, leaning over to look at her closer. The salty fragrance from the water filled my nostrils, along with the weakened scent of strawberries that I loved so much. One of my hands reached out, lightly pulling back some of her hair that hung over the side of her face.

"I can think of a few things…" Her voice was consuming my senses. Every note struck me with newfound desire.

"What would your husband think?" I asked, leaning closer, inhaling her aroma. I sensed her body shiver when my cool breath touched the skin of her neck, just below her jaw.

"You said yourself that he is a fool. Perhaps I should prove to him how much of one he is," she whispered, succumbing to the lust that we both felt as she leaned into me. Her check pressed into the palm of my hand; her eyes glazing over while staring at me.

"Are you should you want to do that? It may anger him knowing that you are with me." My tone was hoarse. It was becoming harder to keep up this charade. She was now close enough that our noses were lightly touching. Her breath was staggering.

"I'll take my chances." I heard the smile in her words as she echoed a phrase I had said to her in the past. With that, what remained of my control seeped out of my body as I slid my hand to the back of her wet hair, just above the hairline, pressing my aching lips to hers.

Our time together on that small island consisted of devoting ourselves to each other, in mind, body, and soul. She and I reminisced over our lives, sharing secrets and memories. She detailed as much of her human life to me as she could, in fear that she would forget everything. I had to remind her that it would take time for her human memories to fully fade. We created new memories together, spending time exploring the island's scenery, wildlife, depths of the ocean…everything I had done before became bright and new while with my Bella. She made life exciting for me, as if I was seeing things for the first time. In a way, I really was.

The century I had lived so far on this earth was constantly grey. I lost myself in the darkness that was my lost identity; a constant battle between what I was and who I wanted to be. I walked this world with a perpetual stick in my ass, as Emmett so eloquently articulated to me once. I hated everything, and everyone, especially myself. I wallowed in my lost humanity, fearing that I would be doomed to exist without a soul. It was not until I met Isabella Swan that I realized just how inexplicably wrong I was. I indeed had a soul. According to her, it was as beautiful as my appearance, yet it shined brighter than the sun in her eyes. I wonder if she will ever realize how much of an angel she truly is. How she was the one who saved me on so many occasions, not the other way around.

"So you had green eyes as a human? I would have loved to see that," she said, leaning against the rock while water rippled between us in the cove. We were in a cool embrace beside a vast waterfall. It was a hiding place I was well informed of by Carlisle and Esme. Bella's eyes gazed into mine, her face shrinking into that of determination. "Hm," she hummed while placing a hand on my cheek. "I guess I can picture it." I smiled under her skin. Water dripped over my eyes and nose as I watched her investigate. How did I get so lucky?

"I could purchase contacts if you wish, so you can see what it was like?"

"No way," she pouted. "I love your eyes the way they are. Whether they're amber, black, or burgundy. Don't mess with perfection!" Her statement was followed by laughter, making my heart swell. My love's laugh was a noise that I could, and would forever listen to without becoming dulled.

"_You_ are perfection, Love," I whispered, capturing her lips with mine for a quick, chaste kiss. Her fingers trailed into my soaked hair, tugging at the strands playfully before I broke away.

"I may be _now_, thank you. At least I don't trip over my own damn feet anymore." She turned away, staring down at our reflection in the moving water. The side profile of her face reminded me of when she was sad as a human. I disliked it.

"You always have been," I pressed while burying my nose in her silky hair. "You were born perfect. Perfect for me. Perfect for forever. Stop berating yourself." As I spoke, her hands fell to my back, tracing circles above my shoulder blades. I felt her body relax as she sighed. Still so many doubts, my Bella? If only I could get you to understand just how wonderful you are. Your stubbornness will be the end of me some day.

"Do you miss my eyes?" she asked quietly. I was still for a few seconds before responding.

"Sometimes. They were the second thing I noticed about you, after your glorious scent."

"Mm." Her hold tightened around me. I placed a kiss on the top of her shoulder as my hands ran up the sides of her waist.

"Bella, it doesn't matter what shade your eyes are. I will always lose myself in them." I pulled back, seeing the uncertainty all over her face. I pecked her nose, then her forehead. She gasped lightly at the contact. "Don't doubt that for a moment, though I know right now you are. Will you always be so absurd?"

"Pft, I guess so," she groaned in offense. I chuckled. No matter what she had endured in the last three hundred and forty six days, her innocence reigned. It was extraordinary. Any normal human would have broken down psychologically, reduced to a white jacket and cushioned room. But not my Bella. No, she was so much stronger than that, even before the change. I recalled for a moment, the baseball game we had. I remembered her panic-stricken expression as my siblings egged her on to join us. Even then, as she swung the heavy bat against the small ball, I saw her strength. It may not have been physical before, but psychologically and emotionally, she was stronger than steel.

She stood up to me numerously, never backing down, even when our arguments were detrimental to her safety. She stood up to her father, to the Quileutes, to the Volturi. There is a glow about her that only intensified when she became like me. Her existence was proof enough that God was real and looking out for me, though I never believed it before. I thought I was doomed; punished for something I had done in my human life that I had forgotten. Punished for the human lives I stole in my early years. Then Bella came, stripped me of the masks I had worn for so many decades, filled me with a yearning that I thought was lost to me, and remarkably loved me for everything that I am.

"Did I mention that I challenged Jake to a race when we get back?" My love's tender voice sang as she wrapped her arms around me while I fixed our bed. It had been slightly…roughed up…in previous hours. Her fingers were distracting me as they trailed down the crease of my bare chest, making me cough to calm myself.

"On those god-awful excuses for bikes?" I sneered, remembering how hers looked the one time I had seen it; mangled and warped from her crash. Her hands froze and she sniffled, irritated.

"That's rude! I think they are beautiful pieces of work. Jake spent a lot of time fixing them up. Respect!" She snapped, lightly smacking my skin with her palm. I let go of the cotton sheet in my hand and instantly turned, smiling down at her.

"Won't you let me buy you a new, safe one?" Her eyebrows raised and she scoffed when I said safe.

"Um, remember? I'm kinda indestructible now. No need for Mr. Worryward to come out." She poked my chest. My smile turned into a frown. I hated the nicknames she created for me during my brooding days. Worryward, Broodface, Sulky Pants…they were added to the list of the hated nicknames Emmett had crowned me. They were juvenile, and downright ridiculous. "Besides, I love my motorcycle. Before we left, Jake promised to suit it up with some awesome attachments so it can handle my new thrill-seeking attitude," she smirked. Yes, my Bella finally had embraced the love for speed that my family and I had. When you naturally move infinitely faster than the average human, it's only natural.

"I'll have to request Jasper to order one for me. I don't trust that dog's talents," I growled, thinking about Jacob with Bella.

Their relationship healed after the confrontation with the Volturi. The tension between us and the wolves grew tiresome after a while, and we eventually met in the middle. Though, as much as Jacob allegedly suppressed it, his thoughts would never leave the topic of how Bella chose this life for me. To be with me. Choosing me over him. Images of intimacy between the two of them would always pop up at some time while the three of us were anywhere near each other. It was quite difficult to drown out the desires of the raging dog (as if he was in heat most of the time!) and I constantly scowled when discussing him because of it. Jealously hasn't diminished in that arena. And I doubt that it ever will. Jacob and Bella share a bond that is different than the one she and I share. She loves him with all her heart, which drives the possessive monster inside me insane. She should only belong to me. Yet, I understand that she and him are close friends and always will be. So I do my best when around them, acting cordial and ignoring the offensive thoughts.

The rest of the pack grew accustomed to my family and I. Seth, especially. He treated me like an older brother, which surprised me as much as it did everyone else. But he explained to me that he knew I wouldn't harm Bella or anyone else for that matter. He was a gentle teen, very loving and accepting. The others took longer to tolerate me around the reservation. Paul was the worst because he had a stronger aggression than the others, which made him very hot-headed. Jacob did a fine job in keeping him in line. Leah Clearwater was the one who neglected us the most if we visited. She hated us for letting Sam perish, though I think she was merely projecting her own sadness and blame for the event onto us. Emily was much more of a wreck, making it difficult for the others to concentrate on any important matters after the funeral. Jacob tended to her when he could, and I could see the care in his eyes for her, like she was a sister to him.

As much as I detested Jacob Black, I grew to respect him. His newfound leadership is strong and admirable. Having to control a large group of intense, aggressive wolves could not be easy. I respected Sam Uley highly due to his ability to keep them in line and discuss matters democratically. Jacob, on the other hand, was far snappier during heavy discussions. Though, as time passed, he tamed his anger and was able to adapt to his new role. Having Bella there to cheer him on from the sidelines helped, also. It had been a very long year for all of us.

On the final night of our honeymoon, Bella insisted on spending some time apart. She told me she wanted to mentally collect herself for returning to the real world after being in our "bubble", as she called it, for so long. So I found myself watching the stars flicker in the dark night sky. The sound of the crashing waves soothed me, and caused me to reflect on just how enlightening my life had become because of Bella.

She was an angel who descended from heaven, specifically for me, to save me from myself. Her brilliance and strength fed me, making me a better man. A better mate. I wanted to worship her like she deserved for the rest of our days on this earth. For eternity and more. There would never be enough time. She brought shining light into my dark world. Her heart pierced through the shadows of mine, reviving the soul that lay dormant since my death. Bella brought with her the stability I needed. A reason to exist. A reason to love.

It was then that I felt slender, but tough arms snake around me, clasping at my abdomen. Her precious lips tingled against my skin as she kissed my back. "What are you doing?" I asked, sounding husky.

"Enjoying you," her soft voice squeaked between kisses. "What are _you_ doing?"

"Watching the waves. They remind me of myself," I said with a sigh. Her magnificent face appeared under my arm and she looked at me, puzzled. "Of us."

"How's that?" My eyes fell back to the water before us as it sloshed against the sand.

"The waves rise and crash amongst each other, similarly to how my head and heart have battled for the last year when it comes to you." A battle that was endless, yet invigorating to be a part of. I moved myself so Bella could be comfortably in front of me. As my arms wrapped around her like a most cherished gift, I rested my head on her shoulder. "No matter how hard they push, they only go back to where they began. I thought I was stuck like those waves for a very long time." Stuck in my love for you, in my fear of killing you, of losing you forever.

"Stuck?"

"Our relationship has been like these waves, going back and forth through so much danger. But the water doesn't change. I thought about how you came into my life, changed it, but also kept it the same for me in ways I never knew."

"You're losing me…" I then realized that what I spoke was making no sense to her. I wove my fingers in her thick hair and laughed at my complex analogy.

"I just came to the realization that we have forever with one another. Forgive me for sounding so cryptic. I'm looking forward to spending each and every day like this. Having you with me." I sensed her body relax against mine, and I smiled.

"Mm, I like the sound of that," she murmured, leaning against me. After a few moments of comfortable silence, I heard her beautiful voice again. "Edward, I have a present for you."

"A present?" This intrigued me. What could she give me that outweighed her being by my side?

"I've been training with Jasper; you know that."

"Yes?"

"Well, we've been testing out different things my mind can do. And I found out how to do something that I'd like to test on you." Well, that's not worrisome at all. My lips pursed with slight hesitation.

"Test on me? Alright…" If you plan on jetting me through the air like a plane, you have another think coming, Love.

"Great!" Her excitement eluded me as she became frozen in my arms. I sighed, trying to calm myself by closing my eyes and focusing on the smoothness of her skin.

I gasped as a flood of images and voices scattered across my closed eyes.

_He's pretty handsome…did he just move here? Why is he looking at me like that?_

Bella, sitting in her seat on the first morning I ever saw her, looking at me. I saw myself, stiff and mysterious in her eyes.

_Get a hold of yourself, Bella. He's just a guy._

Bella, sitting in her truck, watching as I walk out of the music hall, grumbling angrily at a pack of girls, looking frustrated as she slams a hand at her steering wheel.

_Did he just say…I was beautiful?_

Bella, gawking at me after I saved her from the Lexicon, in shellshock from my confession.

_Why is it that a single twitch of his mouth could make my chest feel like exploding?_

Bella, acting rather uncomfortable at the diner, taking notice of all my facial features and body movements.

_Date, not a date, can't be a date, maybe it's a date, wait, why would he want to date me?_

Bella throughout the luncheon, wondering if I asked her out on a date, trying to figure out why someone as gorgeous as me would want to be seen with her.

_The moonlight makes him look an angel. A savior. My savior on too many occasions. He isn't demonic, like the books I read. He is caring, sweet, polite, human._

Bella standing in the middle of the meadow, watching me as I approach her after feeding. I don't look frightening through her eyes; I look magical and strong. More of a protector rather than a monster.

_He likes me in this dress? I'm gorgeous? How can he think that way about plain me?_

Bella, embarrassed by Alice in the dressing room, yet more nervous about my opinion on her appearance. Wanting me to like how she looks.

_Is that all we are? Friends? Do I want to be more than friends with Edward Cullen?_

Bella watching me in the bookstore at the mall, taking in all my conversation as she plugs away at more answers, genuinely interested in what I had to say and feel. Feeling lightheaded as her feelings begin to surface. Wanting to be held by me.

_So he is only attracted to me because of my blood?_

Bella, filled with nerves and fear that I only want her for her blood, feeling crushed that I may not have true feelings for her, like she does me. A twinge of her accepting that I would never want to be with her.

_Being kissed by a vampire like Edward Cullen beats out any fairytale ever told._

Bella, breath-taken and amazed during our very first kiss. Clinging onto me as if her life depended on it, enjoying the feel of my mouth on hers.

_I've found my own missing puzzle piece, when I wasn't looking for it. I didn't even know I was missing one. But indeed I was, and now I feel complete._

Bella, coming to terms that she desires me in her life, for as long as I'd like to be. Hoping that she doesn't bore me with her humanity; desiring nothing more than to kiss me again.

_Stupid, stubborn, vampire._

Bella, laying in her bed and frustrated at how I handled her like she could break. Irritated and thinking that I didn't see her as a strong individual.

_I'm in love with a vampire. Who plays music composed for me. Inspired by me. If this is love, I'll take it._

Bella, sitting beside me at my piano, listening to me play my song for her, astonished at my skill and that I wrote something for her. Coming to terms that she may be falling in love with me.

_Why would he want to get intimate with a human like me? He's a supermodel! I think he's lying about hurting me so I won't press it._

Bella, questioning my motives for not being more sexual with her. Disgusted with her human body, thinking that I don't find her attractive.

_I confessed. He's staring at me like I'm a freak. Oh god, he's gonna run. No. Please don't leave me…_

Bella in the hospital, watching me closely as she tells me that she loves me, terrified that I will abandon her or that I will not return the feelings. Hating herself for being so blunt.

_How could I have tempted him like that? I really am shit._

Bella, crushed around herself after our fight, sobbing with a heavy dose of self-loathing for shoving her blood in my face, fearing I will never want her again. Blaming herself for everything.

_I'm starting to forget his voice. His sweet smell. His face…did I dream him up? Is he being tortured? Edward….I'm dead without you…I wish you were real. _

Bella in her bedroom, in a tense fetal position in her bed, watching out into the night through her window, imagining my presence, hoping that I existed.

_I'm coming for you, Edward._

Bella boarding the plane, squeezing the Volutri castle maps in er hands and staring out with determination to see me again. To save me for once.

_Please look at me…what have they done to you? How am I going to save you? Blood? Yes, take it…please…_

Bella, frantically looking over me while I rot in the dungeon cell, appalled at my treatment and sad that I don't recognize her. Feeling my mouth on her skin, gaining a sense of satisfaction that she can do this for me.

_Nothing else matters except for you and me. I want to give you all of me._

Bella, looking into my lustful, blood-filled eyes, begging me to touch her. To share myself with her completely. Become one with her. Never wanting to be along again.

_Even for someone who's over a hundred, he's acting like a stubborn child!_

Bella running around the forest by my house, crying out for me. Angered that no one is considering her feelings on being changed, knowing full well what the consequences and risks are. Wanting the change so we can be safe and together forever.

_It's a perfect match. Heat and cold. He and I. Our puzzle is finished. Whole. Complete._

Bella, staring at our joined hands, admiring the glimmering shine of the engagement ring on her finger, accepting my proposal.

_I'm going to be his wife. Mrs. Cullen. Will he regret this?_

Bella getting ready for the wedding, looking at her mirror reflection and wondering how good she will be as a wife. Doubting her ability to take care of me. Wishing that I like what I see as she walks down the aisle with Charlie, admiring my own appearance.

_It's okay to die this way…seeing Edward one last time…_

Bella, gazing at my horrified eyes as I hold her broken, bleeding body in my driveway. Overwhelmed from the pain, yet happy that she could die in my arms. That I would be the last thing she would see in life.

_Even as a vampire you dazzle me. Damn._

Bella looking at me with lustful eyes, thinking about the times I have dazzled her with a single smile, a glance, a word. Irritated that it still works in this life, yet happy that it was something unchanging from the shift.

_I can get used to kissing you for forever…_

A montage of images flashed across me, of every embrace, kiss, touch that we had between one another since we met. How every contact made her feel more alive, how it made her feel wanted and loved. Having unbridled happiness with knowing we could continue this for all eternity.

I was at a true loss of words as all the emotions flooded my senses.

Bella had indeed loved me as intensely as I her.

"Bella…how?" I wanted to ask about these thoughts and feelings, but was too taken to formulate the questions. My hands tightened their grip along her.

"This is _my_ wedding present to you," she said. "Never doubt my love for you, Edward. You've had me since day one."

Never again, Love. Never again.

"Thank you. This is the second-best gift I have ever received." I felt like a child on Christmas, getting every single present that I asked for, and then some.

"What's the first?" Bella sounded confused but curious. Was she that naïve? I moved my face to her cheek, chuckling as did so, before lightly kissing her soft skin.

"You."

"Still laying it on think, I see," she snorted without amusement. I smiled against her jawline as I left a trail of kisses, stopping at her neck to speak.

"Haha, I thought you understood my need to shower you with compliments, Love." Lord, I would never get enough of my Bella. Even as a vampire, she was irresistible to me. My body began to pine for her, wanting to devour her and make her mine over and over again.

"I'll never understand your need. I just accept it." I continued on my path, leaving lingering kisses down her neck and at her collarbone, taken in by her sweet scent and delicious skin. I knew that I couldn't take much more, between feeling her in front of me, her loving thoughts swirling within my mind, and tasting her on my lips and tongue.

"I need you in _other_ ways, too…" Her body shuddered at my words, making me smile when I realized that the feeling was mutual.

"Now that, _that _I can understand." I spun around, shoving her playfully against the sand below us. Her eyed were dark as she stared up at me, panting with needless air. Suddenly, it was very apparent that we were wearing too much clothing. Within seconds, the now-shreds of cloth were tossed far from us as I tasted every inch of my adoring wife.

I knew deep down that our lives were not going to be perfect. Forever is a very long time. Though a year to us is a moment for humans. Bella would still have to face the fact that her loved ones would die someday. She would have to adapt to our style of living in areas for only so long before moving. There would always be a possibility that her thirst could rebound and she may attack humans. But, she would also get to achieve the things she dreamed about as a human, and be able to share them with me. She could go onto to get as many degrees as she desired, travel anywhere in the world, read all the books ever written. The possibilities were endless, she told me once. As endless as our love.

For the first time in my long life, I am content with the world.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note II:<strong> Since I know that people who are recently reading this after _Starlight Vows _are unable to request things from Edward's POV, and I've already gotten messages from people with questions. So I'm extending this invitation out to anyone who would like to know more from Edward. If there is something in _Starlight Vows _that I didn't cover in his perspective that you'd like to know, shoot me a message, and I can do my best to answer it in his eyes :)


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